No matter what kind or level of sadness, it is incredibly hard to deal with depression. Some days are better than others, but when depression hits hard, it hits really hard.
The inability to think, feel, or even speak can leave you feeling worthless, unloved, and so alone. It feels like nobody can understand the grief and that nobody cares—even if you know that people care.
As someone who suffers from high functioning depression, I want to share some of the strategies I’ve used to deal with depression. I am not a doctor or therapist and cannot guarantee these tips will work but these are things that have worked for me. Please also note that I have not taken any medication to help with my depression—I deal with it solely through the tips I will share below.
Exercise
If you can do something as simple and short as a 30 minute workout, this signals to your body your subconscious (or conscious) decision to take care of yourself. For some people, like me, exercise is an outlet and an amazing way to deal with depression. I am motivated to workout because I know it will relieve stress. However, some days, when I’m not feeling motivated, I literally have to drag my feet to get working out… But I always do it because I know I will feel better.
For some people, exercise is probably the last thing they can think about. Just getting out of bed is a chore. However, in the moments that you don’t want to workout, I want you to visualize what it would feel like if you did workout. Visualize how you’d feel after the workout—you might be sore, but what about the satisfaction that you gain from getting out some sweat and having your heart pump? What about the satisfaction of just taking care of your body?
Each time I don’t want to workout, I take a couple of minutes to visualize how I will feel after a workout. This helps me focus on something else, as opposed to the feelings of sadness and hopelessness, and I begin to see that I can totally do a workout and the satisfaction and benefits from it are totally worth it!
Eat healthy
I used to not eat very healthy because I was so poor. I ate whatever I could get my hands on, or whatever was the cheapest thing I could find. This contributed to a lack of energy and a lack of self worth. For example, I would eat half a snickers bar for lunch, and the other half for dinner because I was just so poor. I would have a short whiff of energy from the sugar, but then I’d be sluggish and tired the rest of the day. Also, even though I worked out everyday, I could not get rid of the pooch or extra body fat because of the food I ate. I knew that this was not a healthy and sustainable lifestyle, so I got a job—well, 3 jobs. The work provided better food.
I actually started packing sandwiches and apples, made sure to drink plenty of water, and ate snacks throughout the day (as much as I could afford). These small changes significantly impacted my energy levels. To this day I try to pack snacks and keep myself fed because hunger can be a trigger for depression.
Try to get to know your body and eat intuitively. Some people with depression don’t eat at all, and some eat too much. Find a healthy balance, follow some healthy food bloggers, and then get cooking. You will be surprised how big a difference that healthy eating can make for your depression.
Become more spiritual
My belief in God has literally saved my life plenty of times. I won’t lie: I’ve had suicidal thoughts. I’ve thought about dying more days of my life than I’m comfortable admitting. But every time I’m at a low, I pray to God and ask him to help me see clearly, or at least have the energy to get through whatever I’m doing.
You will be surprised how comforting and how merciful God is. I’ve learned on a deeply spiritual level that God always wants to help us, and he never forgets us. If you are depressed, I encourage you with all of my heart to turn to God for help and answers. If you haven’t prayed before, or don’t know where to start, then
Journal
When I get depressed, I pull out my journal and write. I write everything that I’m thinking and feeling, even the thoughts about death. As someone with high functioning depression, I seem normal and functioning, but my head always feels like a puzzle and most times I feel soooo sad when I should be happy.
When these moments come, I just write everything. Having my jumbled thoughts written on paper (or on a doc on my laptop) somehow helps me organize my thoughts and deal with depression. What seemed like such abstract and complicated situations become doable, and I begin to see clearly. I recognize the things I can control, and the things I can’t control. I let go of the things I can’t control, and as soon as I do that, a weight is lifted off my shoulders.
This has helped me significantly deal with depression because we are our worst critics. Depression makes me feel like I’m not good enough, that I’ve caused all the problems, and that the world would be better off without me. Writing about all of this gives me a good cry, but then it’s all out on paper and I don’t have to think about it anymore. In Hawaii, we say the word “pau” for finished. The thoughts are literally pau because you wrote them all out and you can now continue from a fresh slate. Sure, you might have the same feelings again, but for now you can let those things go.
I always end my journal entries with a positive and uplifting quote or beautiful picture. Putting something positive or beautiful in my journal is like the calm after the storm. I can let things go and continue from a state of peace and love.
Go out in nature
Being from Hawaii, it should come as no surprise that people are so happy because we have access to the sun and to the beach. The beach provides blue space and refreshment. The sun provides Vitamin D and general warmth (I’ve always described the sun as feeling like a “hug from nature”—which is so important for depression, especially if you are constantly alone) for your physical body. However, not everyone has access to a beach. When I moved to the mainland, this was probably one of the hardest things for me.
I missed my turtle friends and the convenience of the healing powers of ocean water and waves. Longing for the sun during the winter months (I have seasonal depression too), I had to find another way to enjoy nature—and I did. To cope with all of this, I long walks—mostly by rivers. I also tried to sunbathe as much as possible, because this warmth reminded me of the Hawaiian sun. More recently, hiking and jogging outside has helped me a ton.
Whatever you need to do to get you some fresh air and sun—do it! 🙂
Replace negativity with positivity
Depression makes you have sooooo many negative thoughts, and they’re all directed at YOU. Words like this pop up: “You’re worthless.” “Nobody loves you.” “Everybody would be better off without you.” Can you feel the negativity in those words? The energy just dulls, and the vibe just dies a little. Something I’ve had to do is replace all of these negative thoughts—and sometimes you can write these things down.
Here are some examples to replace the negative thoughts…
“I am of great worth—to myself, to God, and to (insert name here—for me it’s always my husband). I have great things to offer.”
“I am loved by God, who is a loving Heavenly Father, and my (insert person here).”
Can you feel the energy rise in these statements? Can you feel the calm and relaxation in your spirit? Negativity disconnects and limits our ability to be and feel spiritual. The more we replace the negative thoughts, the more connected we feel with ourselves, with God, and with others.
I want to finish by adding a word of encouragement and good will as you deal with depression. As impossible as it may feel to be happy while in the depths of depression, there is hope. YOU can choose your path, and while depression makes it EXTRA hard to choose a path of happiness and light, you can do it! Your external circumstances can’t determine what happens inside of you. I am sending all the love, aloha, and good vibes that I can your way. You are loved. You are of worth. And you can do this!
Lots and lots of aloha,
Lei
Comment below some of the strategies you’ve used to deal with your depression. I’d love to hear them and I reply to every comment! 🙂
