When life feels dark, overwhelming, and hopeless, we just want to sit in the corner, hug our knees, and have a good cry. The last thing we can remember is how to be happy. And the thing is, we all want to be happier—and not the temporary happiness from a bowl of ice cream or a good vent to a friend or spouse—but lasting happiness.
So how can you be happy, especially in the darkest times? In the times where you can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel?
There are 3 strategies you can use in these moments of overwhelming grief and sadness… even when things are so hard, and you have every reason to grumble, stomp your feet on the ground, and exclaim, “IT ISN’T FAIR!”
Sometimes life just isn’t fair, but there is always light. There is ALWAYS hope. Here are the 3 strategies you can use to be happy amidst all the stress, the depression, and the darkness.
Put God first
This is the first and absolute key to lasting happiness. I’ve heard people tell me before that God is a priority, but do their actions reflect that? How do you make him a priority?
Daily, consistent actions show your effort and desire to make him first. For example, reading the scriptures and praying everyday shows a great deal of effort to be closer to him. When you wake up in the morning, do you reach for your phone and scroll through social media, or do you get on your knees and acknowledge that you need His help that day?
Do you take the time to ponder and reflect on life’s most important things—the relationships in your life, the way you’re spending your time, the people you could serve? Or do you put “mindless” activities first, or things to keep you “busy”?
How would putting God first really benefit me?
You recognize the things that matter most, and begin to see that God’s plan is more beautiful, more perfect, and more grand than you ever imagined. Even when things feel unfair or depressing, your heart will be filled with gratitude for the gift of life, the gift of another day…
I found that when I focused on God, he placed people in my life to uplift and support me. Sometimes these were complete strangers. Back in Hawaii, as I went through some hard things, I met so many amazing individuals and families. I felt in my heart that God was looking out for me. He was lifting my burdens through others and even myself. I know the same can happen for you. When you put him first, you feel his love, discover your divine worth, and begin to see his grand plan for you. Whenever I look back at that difficult time in my life, I see God there helping me every step of the way. Acknowledge his hand, put him first, and he will “direct thy paths.”
Live with purpose
When hard times come, it might feel like your purpose is lost in the fray. I know this because even I lost sight of my purpose for a while. I felt that my purpose was to pick up the pieces and fix the mess that my dad left behind. I didn’t even think I could be a happier person.
But I remember talking to one of my best friends, and she said: “You have to take care of yourself too, you know.” Then it hit me… Amidst all the stress, the pain, and the frustration I’d lost sight of my purpose.
I immediately started doing things to take better care of myself and live with purpose. I spent my mornings at the beach in meditation, prayer, and relaxation. These moments helped me de-stress and find peace in Christ, in nature, and even in myself. #iloveseaturtles
I started writing in my journal even more—recording all my thoughts and ideas. I even started writing a new fantasy book. These were things I loved doing and that helped me feel like I was fulfilling my creative purpose in life.
Discovering Your Purpose
If you’re not sure what your purpose is, go back to the first step and focus on God. He’ll show you what you’re here for. As you grow closer to him, you discover your unique strengths and peace you never knew was possible. Your efforts to be a happier person will come more easily and naturally.
Be intentional in the things you do
If you want to be a happier person, live with intention. Difficulties tend to fog the most important things. For example, financial burdens cause tons of stress and in the midst of that stress, a single mom might use a tone or say something to a child she wouldn’t normally say. Or a 9-5 single working woman might leave work on a Friday night and realize she has no plans—nobody has reached out and she feels so alone. Or basements flood, cars break down, life happens.
These hard times and stresses cause some of life’s darkest moments… the moments of hopelessness, of fear, of failure, of loneliness…
What do you do in these times, when it seems that there is no hope, that there isn’t even the slightest chance of being a happier person?
Intention is key.
Is your intention to continue progressing in your life, despite the difficulties, or to stump your progress by complaining? Many times, our trials in life are caused by the actions of others (like abuse, financial stresses, etc), but control what you can.
When I was alone on Friday nights, I’d make a plan—something that would get my creative juices flowing because that brings me joy—and then I’d follow through. I didn’t just go home and turn on Youtube or a TV show to watch mindlessly. I did something to work towards a better future and a better me.
What about the financial stresses, the accidents, the meltdowns? It’s ok to have a breakdown—every person has their moments. But be intentional—know that it will pass. Stand up, wash your face, come from a place of love and grace, make things right (especially if you lashed out at a loved one), and commit to do better.
You got this sis
I know that the things I’ve outlined here are far easier said than done. But remember, it’s SO worth it! If you truly desire to be a happier person, these three strategies will help you get there. In the comments below, I’d love to here some things you do to be a happier person. 🙂 You deserve to be happy! I am here, cheering you on and sending all the aloha vibes that I can!
xoxo
Lei
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