Aloha is probably one of the most popular Hawaiian words, meaning “hello,” “goodbye,” and “I love you.” But if we truly break it down and understand the etymology, the feeling, and the spirit of aloha, we learn to live on a deeper and more meaningful way.
“Alo” is the presence of, and “ha” is breath or life force. So, literally, aloha is the presence of life. It is recognizing the life in ourselves and others, and, more importantly, the love that flows through all things. Ancient Hawaiians had this concept of mana, or energy, that flows in everything. In Christian religion, this mana could be understood as spirit. The greater our love, the greater the mana.
Aloha is the constant giving and receiving of love. From the moment we were born, we have the desire to give and receive love. It is our natural state of spirit.
Through pain, heartache, trauma, and grief, our ego steps in to protect us. We form beliefs that block our flow of aloha, such as the belief that we can’t trust anyone, or that we can’t be truly happy. Aloha is loving ourselves, others, and God enough to return to that love.
It’s a lifelong journey, but it’s one that is totally worth it. When we truly recognize the life force in ourselves and others, and honor that, we create that flow of love with every person and living thing we encounter.
Aloha is like the flowing of a river
To better understand the constant flow of aloha, I imagine a beautiful, strong river. Some rivers are small, some large, some shallow, and some deep. This is like the flow of aloha in our lives. The better we get at practicing aloha, the deeper and stronger this river flows. People can feel the aloha spirit from just being around us.
Others have a harder time with the flow of love. Perhaps they suffered a deep trauma that makes it difficult to navigate the flow. Perhaps they experienced a grief, violence, or abuse that sucked them nearly dry.
Life is full of difficulties, but know this… there will always be a flow within you. Even if you feel that all love and light has dried out of you, it isn’t so. God created us with an abundance of love, and, because he loves us, we can reach out to him to quench any of our needs, especially that of love.
No matter how small or large your flow of love, there will always be difficulties and challenges placed in your way. I think of limiting self beliefs, negative thoughts, feelings of worthlessness, and hopelessness as the pieces that make a dam.
A dam cuts off the flow, and, because we all experience heartache in life, we all have things we need to work to remove out of our thoughts and beliefs.
Self limiting beliefs block the flow
When I was a young adult, I recognized that I had this self limiting belief: “I can’t be truly happy because if I am, then something bad will happen.” I didn’t allow myself to be happy because I feared what would come next.
It always seemed like if I did experience some kind of joy, I had to shut it down quickly—stuff it inside—so that if someone said something rude or negative, or a bad event happened next, I’d know that I’d already stuffed the happiness down and I hadn’t really deserved it.
Or that it hadn’t actually been a true feeling.
This belief came from years of neglect, abuse, and manipulation. I would rejoice in other people’s successes, but I never felt secure or happy in my own.
When I recognized this belief, it took a long time to remove this block that had such a huge role in creating a dam to the flow of love. I would give love, but never truly receive it from others.
This is not aloha. Aloha flows between all things.
Let it flow. 🙂
Work to remove the blocks of self-limiting beliefs, negativity, selfishness, worthlessness, and hopelessness.
Here are some additional ways to help you do this, and more fully implement the value of aloha in your life.
Love and trust God first
God, the father of our spirits, is love. He is the God who can give you the love you need. Through his son, Jesus Christ, we can experience unlimited joy in this life. I’m so grateful for their support in my life—in fact, I don’t know where I’d be without knowing there is a God and a Savior for me. Trust that God loves and knows you, because he does.
Learn compassion
“Charity is the pure love of Christ.” Aloha is basically charity: withholding judgment and loving unconditionally.
It’s so easy to judge others.
I read a book, which I highly recommend, called “Judgment Detox,” (that’s an affiliate link, meaning if you click through and buy it, I receive a commission at no extra cost to you!) and it helped me recognize how often I judge people.
Don’t misunderstand me here… we need to judge situations and things for safety and responsible reasons, but how often do we find ourselves judging people for petty things, like lifestyle choices, things they say, or things they post on social media?
We all are different, and we all have a contribution to make.
Instead of judging, have compassion and grace for others. Try to truly understand what they’re saying when they talk to you. “Pa’a ka waha” and “lokahi” teach us how to strengthen our relationships and listen with love to others. This encourages the constant flow of aloha in our lives.
Have aloha for yourself too
For many of us, it’s easy to love and rejoice for and with others, and yet, we rarely rejoice in our own successes. Instead, we criticize and judge ourselves for not doing or being enough. Withholding love for ourselves is the very act of creating blocks to our flow of love. It’s like we’re building our own dams by withholding love for ourselves. We can’t have a continuous flow for others if we withhold love from ourselves.
Have hope
The spirit of aloha may sometimes feel like a thing of the past, but it isn’t. You can create paradise right where you are by living the value of aloha. If you’ve been hurt in the past, it can feel difficult at first to allow the flow of aloha to run its course in your life. But know that there is hope. There is always hope. 🙂
I hope you will be able to live the spirit of aloha in your home and life. And remember, if you don’t think you can even feel love right now, reach up to a loving Heavenly Father. He will gently remind you of how loved, valued, and beautiful you are. When you reach up to him and do your part, your river flow of aloha will become strong and deep.
Follow my 3 steps to have mercy for people (because we’re all not perfect)
There are 3 things that go through my head when I feel annoyed, impatient, or angry at someone. These 3 keys help me have ALOHA for others all the time.
- Every person is a child of God. We learned this in ‘ohana. We are all God’s children so deserve to be treated that way.
- Every person has pain, challenges, trials, and heartaches.
- People deal with their problems the best way they know how. Sometimes a person hasn’t experienced much. Maybe they’re not as mature as you are, and so they just don’t understand. I’ve come to realize that people usually do the best they can with the knowledge and experience they have.
I hope these tips will inspire you to live more aloha. It is truly possible!
With joy and aloha,
Lei
Your turn!
How do you live aloha? Let us know in the comments below!
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