Lately I’ve been throwing this question around: “Am I enough?” As I work on a new Ebook to help people overcome depression and as I create content for my blog, I wonder if I’m even “good enough” or “qualified enough” to write such things. Sometimes I hit a wall—a direct result of ptsd and depression—where I think to myself: I haven’t seen, done, or experienced enough to ever be “good enough.” I’ll never be “good enough” to help people the way I want.
But then I stop and listen to that statement. That’s SO not true! I’ve helped so many people in my life by sharing my experiences, listening, and teaching simple principles to improve the quality of their lives.
So I want you to listen to me right now…
You ARE enough.
Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Remind yourself that you are enough, and believe it. We, as women, are incredibly hard on ourselves! My husband always tells me, “You’re so kind to other people, but you don’t allow yourself that kindness.”
Give yourself the kindness and credit you deserve. Obviously you can’t feel good if you’re not making the best choices, but we all make mistakes so if you need to improve, that’s ok!
Look at the good things you’re doing, and focus on those. Set goals and make plans to improve on the other things. As you do these two things, you will help your weaknesses become strengths. Click To TweetLet me illustrate how you can do this.
The big picture
When we come across challenging situations, or when we interact with others, we have a tendency to leave the situation or interaction feeling like we hadn’t done enough. We put a magnifying glass to our weaknesses, seeing only the things we “did wrong.” We evaluate every flaw, holding the magnifying glass so close that the flaws and weaknesses are completely exaggerated and blown out of proportion.
But what if we consciously took the magnifying glass in our head and looked at the strengths?
For example, I have a major struggle when it comes to family. PTSD and anxiety from past traumas have me feeling like I can’t trust anyone and that family will always be toxic. After my parent’s divorce, I lost contact with all of my extended family (except my immediate siblings and mom). However, marriage brought on a whole other family: in-laws.
I love my in-laws but it was really difficult for me at first (sometimes it still is). I would go to events kicking and screaming internally—my husband never forced me to go to anything, but I was so caught up in feeling obligated that we’d go anyways.
When we were with the in-laws, I’d smile and genuinely try to ask questions and get to know people. This was VERY difficult for me because internally I felt irritated and anxious, like they were hiding something up their sleeves. In my head, I imagined they asked me questions to use as ammo against me. I always answered and held surfacey, but cordial conversations.
After the family events, I’d usually cry on the way home or shut down. All I could see were my huge flaws and weaknesses on replay after replay… They were totally blown out of proportion. My head would say things like, You looked so stupid. They didn’t actually want to talk to you—they just felt obligated to talk to you. You’ll never be ok around family…
Yes, those are my weaknesses. I certainly feel that people talk to me out of obligation sometimes. And yes, I don’t ever really feel comfortable around family. But! But when I take a hold of the magnifying glass and look at the strengths I recognize the good things I did.
I was kind, patient, and cordial. I smiled and answered graciously. I asked questions with a genuine intent to listen and understand—even if they replied with short, awkward answers. And a huge success was that I tried! Family is a weakness of mine but I was totally there trying and doing my best.
When I zoomed out and saw the whole picture—the replay of my interactions with others, I couldn’t help but feel proud of myself. Yes, I have weaknesses, but I have strengths too. That helps me to feel good enough.
You are good enough
It’s so easy for us to feel bad for the skills we lack, or by our weaknesses and flaws. But when you take a hold of that magnifying glass in your head, you will see the beautiful and wonderful things you do.
You are totally enough!
Ask God
I’m a firm believer that if you ask God what he thinks about you, you can’t go wrong. After all, he, the divine creator, created YOU! He loves you so much. You will feel love beyond measure, and recognize that your worth isn’t dependent on what others think of you. You are enough for you, and you are enough for God.
Focus on the good, have aloha for yourself, and rise above the feelings of self-doubt. You were made to do incredible things, and so go forward with excitement, knowing this:
You are enough. Click To Tweet
Love,
Lei
P.S. I made these cute wallpapers for you to download and use as a screensaver on your phone—just a little reminder in case you forget. 😉 To save the wallpaper, click on the image you want. It will take you to a new page. Right click (or hold the picture on phone) and select “save image.” And then you have a new wallpaper! 🙂
