Ho’oponopono is the Hawaiian practice of “making things right or well.”

Ancient Hawaiians have done this practice for centuries. When two people or groups have a disagreement or hūhū, hard feelings, they would meet together for a session of ho’oponopono. It has been adapted in several different ways, including sending positive energy to others and one’s self.

“Ho’o” means – to do or be 

“ponopono” means – to make right or correct, also to make tidy and neat, balanced

Therefore, ho’oponopono is the art of mending, of healing, of making things clean between, and restoring balance. There are many ways people do ho’oponopono. I’ve been in a ho’oponopono session with a facilitator who asks questions and gets everyone’s opinion, like a mediation session. 

I’ve also learned ho’oponopono that you can do on your own, by sending out aloha into the world, and especially towards those who have hurt you.

Ho’oponopono comes from the word pono, which means righteousness and balance. The difference between the two is that pono is a personal character trait that can be developed, whereas ho’oponopono is an action of making things right with oneself or others.

Personal Practice of Ho’oponopono

You can do a personal practice of ho’oponopono by first finding quiet to do this exercise. In your mind, think of the person who you feel resent towards or have pilikia, troubles, with. Then, either verbally or mentally, say these lines: 

Hello _____ (insert name here).

Then you would say these words:

I love you. 

I’m sorry. 

Please forgive me. 

Thank you. 

Ho’oponopono forgives others, thereby freeing yourself from the anger and hurt that comes from holding onto pain. 

A visual of ho’oponopono: the orchid plants

Growing up in Hawaii, my parents thought they would try their hand in raising Tahitian vanilla orchid beans. People paid a lot of money for vanilla bean, and the Tahitian plant had an especially delightful taste. 

They ordered some plants, which came in abundance. We lived in a rental on the Big Island at the time, so my parents got a bunch of thick, black planting containers, which we filled up with potting bark and small rocks, and we placed them in the back yard.

We had at least 20 pots, filled to the brim, with pieces of bamboo sticking out to support the green orchid vines. 

Needless to say, after months of watering, re-soiling, and weeding, the plants withered away. The conditions weren’t right, and the little red fire ants, which infested the island at the time, took over. They swarmed on the plants like people in a busy airport. 

But my parents kept hoping the plants would somehow revive. 

We kept taking the orchid plants with us

We moved 3-4 times, because we were so poor, and those pots came with us everywhere. I hated carrying those pots because 1) they were heavy and I could barely get my arms around them and 2) they had tiny red fire ants that bit you, and when you got bit, the pain seared the whole area, lasting for days. 

My parents divorced in 2013, and I returned in 2016 to clean out the family home to sell. When I saw those pots, I cringed (maybe a lot). Why had we carried those pots around for so long? 

The orchids were long gone. The bamboo sticks looked like sad broken pieces, weathered by time and the sun. 

I got to work emptying those containers and stacking them in a tall pile. Carrying around those containers, filled to the brim with rocks and potting bark, had never served us. We should have thrown them away years ago, when the original orchid plants died. 

I’ve reflected on this experience often, and compare it with ho’oponopono. 

False beliefs and burdens don’t serve us 

In life, things happen: we experience abuse, pain, betrayal, death of a loved one, etc. We carry the heavy feelings from these experiences with us, everywhere we go. They affect our daily life and our reaction to experiences. 

Most times these burdens were placed on us from others: our parents, a boyfriend/girlfriend, spouse, family member, coworkers, etc. but sometimes these feelings come from ourselves. 

We regret a decision, feel worthless, or just totally down about something that already happened. 

Like those orchid containers my family and I carried everywhere, we should ask ourselves this question:

Why do we still carry these emotional loads?

Sometimes the loads feel too heavy, and we lay on the ground, totally exhausted from the pain of it all. Or the metaphorical fire ants sting us and certain parts of our lives sear in pain for a day or two. 

With all of the pain these burdens cause us, there is no logical reason to keep carrying them. The load doesn’t serve us. It doesn’t even do what it’s supposed to do. 

Ho’oponopono helps us get rid of these loads. It teaches us to forgive others and forgive ourselves. We all make mistakes. We all fall short. But we don’t need to hold onto the pain forever. 

What are some loads you can take off now? What are the beliefs and burdens that aren’t serving you? I invite you to try the personal practice of ho’oponopono to free yourself of the emotional weight caused by some of life’s challenging experiences. 

And, of course, if you’re struggling with this, ask God for help. He is so willing to help and show you the way. His son, Jesus Christ, always waits with open arms to help you find the peace and forgiveness you need.

It’s never too late to turn a new leaf.

With aloha, 

Leialoha 

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