This isn’t the kind of “treat” yourself article, with ideas on makeup, clothes, and food to pamper you. This goes beyond that, to a state of you becoming. Growing up in Hawaii, I realized that “things” don’t last. Cars and trucks rust within a few years, food gets soggy if left out, the lava takes over whatever it wants—burning any homes in its path, and any garden or home left untouched becomes a part of the jungle—the trees and plants growing over anything it can. Despite most physical “things” not lasting in Hawaii, there were some “things” that did last—things you couldn’t see, but felt—relationships, love, family, God, good energy. And this article is to help you improve one of these key unseen relationships, aka your relationship with yourself.
If you struggle to love yourself, recognize those reasons why (Read The Top 5 Reasons You Don’t Like Yourself + How to Stop It) and then process and reframe your mind. Creating a healthy relationship with yourself can impact your life forever, and it can impact every person around you. Have you ever met that woman who carries herself with grace, who looks as though a crown is on her head—she isn’t haughty, no. She knows who she is, and she loves and embraces who she is. And you can too. Here are the top 8 steps on how you can do that:
Be kind in your thoughts
Listen to what your thoughts are saying. I’ve repeated this time and time again in my articles, but when you truly take a moment to listen to your thought process, you’ll recognize you deserve better. The negativity you tell yourself simply isn’t true. You ARE worth it, and no matter how many mistakes you make, you can get up and keep trying.
Recognize life obstacles for what they are
We’ve all had terrible things happen to us—whether we caused the pain ourselves, or someone did something awful to us. I’m not undermining these experiences—they are deeply painful, scarring, and can leave us totally stuck, immovable. Recognize these life obstacles as just that: obstacles. Sometimes it takes a while to get over them, and sometimes you might feel as though you’ll always carry some part of it with you… but continue to rise above them. Remember that life obstacles are just events in life, not life itself. When you recognize that, you realize that your life has a beautiful and hopeful journey—it doesn’t have to always be like the darkness you experienced.
Create something
Being creative helps you enjoy life, and, even more so, enjoy being you. When you let your creativity flow, whether you’re painting a picture, playing/singing music, writing a poem, or whatever craft/art/medium suits your fancy, you are actually giving yourself permission to be YOU. What better way to love yourself?
As a Hawaiian, I’ve always loved flower crowns. In Hawaii they’re called lei po’o or haku lei. Whenever I create a haku lei for me or another person, I feel the good energy inside of me—love for my ability to be creative, and love for the person I’m making the lei for. Find something to create and feel the good energy, the zest for life, and enjoy!
Do something you love
Treat yourself to something you absolutely love… something that will raise your spirits and provide a wholesome activity for you. Whether that’s spending time with a loved one, reading a book, or even just going for a calm drive through the mountains… doing something you love helps you appreciate you!
Don’t hold back on promptings
You know when you have that feeling to go and do something? I suggest you go and do it. 😉 Listening to those promptings from God will inspire your life, and help you feel his love for you.
Serve others + self
When you do something for a person who can’t do it by themselves, it provides a deep satisfaction for life. You feel appreciated for what you do—if not by the person you provided service to than, at the very least, from God. Even serving yourself provides satisfaction, in whatever form that looks for you: eating healthy, writing in your journal, reading the scriptures, or watching an uplifting show.
Celebrate the little successes
You’re doing great. I wish you could know just that. The very fact that you’re here, finding ways to take care of yourself, shows that you’re on the right path. Celebrate that you’re here! And celebrate the little successes: waking up on time, getting to bed on time, serving a friend, smiling at a stranger, etc. You’re doing better than you think. 😉
Pray
Sometimes it’s hard to love yourself when you feel depressed or lonely. In these moments, even just the thought of liking yourself feels impossible. As someone who had depression, I realized that I could not recover on my own, and I needed divine intervention. So I turned to prayer—I always turned to prayer when I couldn’t love myself. God helped me to see my worth as his daughter. He showed me that I’m never alone, because he is always looking out for me. I know he can do the same for you.
Celebrate + Love You
You’re amazing. There’s no-one like you on this earth. You have a unique mission and purpose, and as you learn to love yourself, you learn what exactly those are for you. Your life will be filled with satisfaction and purpose, and when trials come (which they will for all of us), you’ll be better equipped because you know who you are + you already love yourself enough to know you can get through any of your hardest days.
Sending love from one daughter of a king to another,
Leialoha
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