Ha’aha’a is the Hawaiian word for “humility or humble.” When we live the value of ha’aha’a, we learn to come from a place of love, understanding that things won’t always work out or be perfect. And that’s OK.
The attitude of ha’aha’a is being meek, unpretentious, and modest.
Those who live ha’aha’a sincerely rejoice in the goodness and success of others and themselves.
They don’t raise themselves above others on any basis, whether that be wealth, class, race, ethnicity, etc.
It’s difficult to live the value of ha’aha’a, as we live in a society that tells us we deserve everything we see in ads and marketing, or when we compare ourselves to the “perfect” lives we see on social media.
However, when we choose to live the value of ha’aha’a, we become a magnet of goodness. We emit the love and compassion of Christ. People are drawn to us because they feel and know the sincerity of our hearts.
People can trust us, because those who live ha’aha’a withhold judgment, and, instead, show forth love and understanding.
They come from a place of aloha, love, instead of fear.
The opposite of ha’aha’a
It might be easier to understand how to live the value of ha’aha’a by explaining its opposite.
Ever since I was a preteen, I felt the strain of want. I wanted nice clothes, not the hand-me-downs from my sister, I wanted to have beautiful hair, nice shoes, but mostly just new, stylish clothes. We were terribly poor by the time we moved to Hawaii, so I could never get what I wanted.
Every now and then my mom would take us to Old Navy for some new clothes, but we’d get the least-expensive, most basic shirts and a few pairs of shorts that could last me a couple of years. I always felt so out of style, envious of the girls who had nice clothes and dresses.
When I got to college and worked some jobs, I got a couple of new clothes. And I had a realization… something we all hear but never realize until it hits us in the face.
Money can’t buy happiness.
Ha’aha’a is being happy where you are, and happy for others… at the same time
I got new clothes, but I still wasn’t happy. I still wanted more. But I couldn’t afford more.
It was then I realized that being happy doesn’t come from owning more things. Happiness comes from a humble heart. It comes from just being happy for others.
No, I couldn’t afford all the nice things and I’ve certainly never been the most stylish person.
But I can just be happy where I’m at. Ha’aha’a. Humility.
We can envy things that other people have, focusing on their abundance and our lack… or we can focus on what we do have.
For me, I had a lot of skills, kindness, and the ability to work hard. And that was enough.
Ha’aha’a is being grateful for what we do have, instead of looking at the lack. It goes hand in hand with mahalo.
How else can we implement the value of ha’aha’a?
Ha’aha’a is being willing to learn
A person who is humble is also willing to learn from others. As with the value of ‘ike loa, a person who lives ha’aha’a is childlike. They’re full of wonder, willing to learn and gain knowledge.
They listen when others speak, and feel when it’s appropriate to speak themselves. They love to contribute, even if they don’t always know what to do. They’re just willing to help.
Ha’aha’ looks for the good
A person living ha’aha’a looks for the good in others. They don’t boast of their own accomplishments, but genuinely compliment and bring out the best in others.
Ha’aha’a thirsts after knowledge
The humble person studies diligently, knowing that there’s always something more they can learn. They ponder topics that interest them, and seek God’s help for inspiration and further learning.
Becoming humble isn’t an easy task. It requires so much concentration, and truly listening to our own thoughts. When we recognize that sometimes we judge or criticize others, or claim that we can “do it better,” we’re taking away the opportunity to serve and rejoice with others.
Let us become a more humble people. As we do so, more unity (lokahi), and joy will come into our lives and communities.
With aloha and joy,
Leialoha
Let’s hear from you!
In the comments below, I’d love to hear how you implement the value of ha’aha’a!
If you’d like to learn more about the Hawaiian values and how to apply them into your life, check out my 5 Hawaiian Days to Wellness mini course. It’s free and gets straight to your inbox! 🙂
Kuleana is the Hawaiian word meaning “responsibility.” Kuleana encourages to be accountable for all that we do. It is the “ability to respond” to whatever is happening.
Those who live the value of kuleana know that their happiness is dependent on what happens inside of them, not outside. They choose how they react to circumstances, not let the circumstances determine how they feel.
When we live with kuleana, we do our part to take care of ourselves, our communities, and the environment.
Kuleana means we all have a responsibility
I went to a high school summer program called Na Pua No’eau, and learned how to sail the wa’a, the Hawaiian canoe. The theme of this program was “He Kuleana Ko Kakou,” meaning that “We all have a responsibility.”
They taught us how we have a responsibility to become our best selves—in order to better society—to develop our creative abilities, to preserve our heritage and culture, and to take care of the earth.
Each day our group leaders reminded us of the theme, and it’s stuck with me ever since. Every person has something to contribute for the betterment of society, for taking care of the earth, and even for preserving heritage.
When we look at our kuleana in the facets of our life, we might see that there’s a lot of work to be done.
Kuleana is a strength
Some people think that self help/improvement is for the weak… when, truly, it is for everyone. We ALL can improve. It is our kuleana. Some people think that since somebody else is doing the business, creative project, volunteer work, or service they like, there’s not enough room for them. But there is an abundance of resources and audiences for everyone. We EACH have a contribution to make to this world. Kuleana is recognizing that it’s truly up to YOU whether you succeed or not. Kuleana is taking responsibility to improve ourselves so we can reach our goals and live up to our divine potential.
Here are some of the responsibilities we have:
We have a kuleana to God, through being pono and right. We take accountability and exercise faith by relying on his son, Jesus Christ.
We have a kuleana to others, through service, supporting important causes, and protecting the innocent.
We have a kuleana to ourselves, by becoming our best selves, improving, and giving ourselves credit.
We have a kuleana to take care of the earth.Malama ka ‘aina is one of Hawaii’s most used Hawaiian phrases. If we don’t take care of it, who will?
Does kuleana feel overwhelming? It might, for some. For those who are seeking daily improvement, however, this may feel familiar.
We ALL have the gift of agency, meaning that we can all create what we want from this life. But it’s our kuleana to use our agency for good.
What are some ways you can implement the value of kuleana in your life? Here are some suggestions.
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Kuleana helps us control what we can
I’m writing this article from my home as COVID-19 sweeps through the nation. It’s scared so many people, and left us feeling uncertain and scared. It’s made me feel pretty out of control… I miss my freedom of doing what I want when I want.
But this is where kuleana comes in. I have the ability to respond. And I choose to respond with optimism.
I’ve used this time to create new content and write my book.
Control what you can control, which is YOU, and let the rest go. That is the essence of kuleana.
Be accountable
Sometimes, in life, we just need someone to talk to and remind us of who we are and what we truly want. I find I take more responsibility for myself when I tell someone the things I’m doing.
My husband listens when I share insights, or process things that happened. When we talk to people and share our thoughts and aspirations, we become accountable.
We don’t go talking to just anyone though… find someone who you trust. If you struggle with trust, take it to God. In the end, we will all be accountable to him anyways.
Be kind to yourself
I used to get upset at myself when I couldn’t get everything done on my list. Kuleana is all about looking at the big picture, figuring out the most important things, and then taking responsibility to get the most important things done.
Too many people spend their lives being “busy,” but not really completing the most important things they wanted to do: spending time with family, serving more, creating something, etc.
Be kind to yourself when you fall short, but be willing to change and improve to do the things that matter most.
He kuleana ko kakou. We all have a responsibility. I hope you’ll take advantage of knowing that you are a part of the bigger picture. You matter. And you have the ability to respond in order to make your life better and happier!
With aloha and joy,
Leialoha
Let’s hear from you!
What is your kuleana in life? Share your thoughts in the comments below!
Ho’oponopono is the Hawaiian practice of “making things right or well.”
Ancient Hawaiians have done this practice for centuries. When two people or groups have a disagreement or hūhū, hard feelings, they would meet together for a session of ho’oponopono. It has been adapted in several different ways, including sending positive energy to others and one’s self.
“Ho’o” means – to do or be
“ponopono” means – to make right or correct, also to make tidy and neat, balanced
Therefore, ho’oponopono is the art of mending, of healing, of making things clean between, and restoring balance. There are many ways people do ho’oponopono. I’ve been in a ho’oponopono session with a facilitator who asks questions and gets everyone’s opinion, like a mediation session.
I’ve also learned ho’oponopono that you can do on your own, by sending out aloha into the world, and especially towards those who have hurt you.
Ho’oponopono comes from the word pono, which means righteousness and balance. The difference between the two is that pono is a personal character trait that can be developed, whereas ho’oponopono is an action of making things right with oneself or others.
Personal Practice of Ho’oponopono
You can do a personal practice of ho’oponopono by first finding quiet to do this exercise. In your mind, think of the person who you feel resent towards or have pilikia, troubles, with. Then, either verbally or mentally, say these lines:
Hello _____ (insert name here).
Then you would say these words:
I love you.
I’m sorry.
Please forgive me.
Thank you.
Ho’oponopono forgives others, thereby freeing yourself from the anger and hurt that comes from holding onto pain.
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A visual of ho’oponopono: the orchid plants
Growing up in Hawaii, my parents thought they would try their hand in raising Tahitian vanilla orchid beans. People paid a lot of money for vanilla bean, and the Tahitian plant had an especially delightful taste.
They ordered some plants, which came in abundance. We lived in a rental on the Big Island at the time, so my parents got a bunch of thick, black planting containers, which we filled up with potting bark and small rocks, and we placed them in the back yard.
We had at least 20 pots, filled to the brim, with pieces of bamboo sticking out to support the green orchid vines.
Needless to say, after months of watering, re-soiling, and weeding, the plants withered away. The conditions weren’t right, and the little red fire ants, which infested the island at the time, took over. They swarmed on the plants like people in a busy airport.
But my parents kept hoping the plants would somehow revive.
We kept taking the orchid plants with us
We moved 3-4 times, because we were so poor, and those pots came with us everywhere. I hated carrying those pots because 1) they were heavy and I could barely get my arms around them and 2) they had tiny red fire ants that bit you, and when you got bit, the pain seared the whole area, lasting for days.
My parents divorced in 2013, and I returned in 2016 to clean out the family home to sell. When I saw those pots, I cringed (maybe a lot). Why had we carried those pots around for so long?
The orchids were long gone. The bamboo sticks looked like sad broken pieces, weathered by time and the sun.
I got to work emptying those containers and stacking them in a tall pile. Carrying around those containers, filled to the brim with rocks and potting bark, had never served us. We should have thrown them away years ago, when the original orchid plants died.
I’ve reflected on this experience often, and compare it with ho’oponopono.
False beliefs and burdens don’t serve us
In life, things happen: we experience abuse, pain, betrayal, death of a loved one, etc. We carry the heavy feelings from these experiences with us, everywhere we go. They affect our daily life and our reaction to experiences.
Most times these burdens were placed on us from others: our parents, a boyfriend/girlfriend, spouse, family member, coworkers, etc. but sometimes these feelings come from ourselves.
We regret a decision, feel worthless, or just totally down about something that already happened.
Like those orchid containers my family and I carried everywhere, we should ask ourselves this question:
Why do we still carry these emotional loads?
Sometimes the loads feel too heavy, and we lay on the ground, totally exhausted from the pain of it all. Or the metaphorical fire ants sting us and certain parts of our lives sear in pain for a day or two.
With all of the pain these burdens cause us, there is no logical reason to keep carrying them. The load doesn’t serve us. It doesn’t even do what it’s supposed to do.
Ho’oponopono helps us get rid of these loads. It teaches us to forgive others and forgive ourselves. We all make mistakes. We all fall short. But we don’t need to hold onto the pain forever.
What are some loads you can take off now? What are the beliefs and burdens that aren’t serving you? I invite you to try the personal practice of ho’oponopono to free yourself of the emotional weight caused by some of life’s challenging experiences.
And, of course, if you’re struggling with this, ask God for help. He is so willing to help and show you the way. His son, Jesus Christ, always waits with open arms to help you find the peace and forgiveness you need.
It’s never too late to turn a new leaf.
With aloha,
Leialoha
Let’s hear from you!
How will you implement the practice of ho’oponopono in your life? Let us know in the comments!
A true alaka’i leads by example, living the very principles they teach. There are many alaka’i in this world: parents, teachers, coaches, government leaders, employers, and the list could go on.
The role of an alaka’i is special and deeply important.
The world needs more alaka’i. If we break down the Hawaiian word into two parts, we find an even deeper meaning to the word.
“Ala” means – to rise up or come forward
“ka’i” means – to lead, direct, lift up and carry
Therefore, when we put the whole word together, we get the sense that a true alaka’i rises to the occasion. They come forward to lead, lift, and carry others.
An alaka’i looks only to serve others and become their best self in the process.
An alaka’i is a constant teacher
I’ve taught piano lessons off and on for years. I finally got a job as a piano teacher at a local music school, where we were trained a specific piano teaching method. When I first started teaching the method, I had so many questions.
I felt like the students had gaps in their learning and it was a disservice for me to teach this specific method.
When our trainer traveled to the music school to check up on us, the rest of the piano teachers and I bombarded him with questions. Finally, he paused us and asked this question that stuck with me:
“What is the purpose?”
What did he mean “what is the purpose?” We were doing our best and it was their method that was failing.
But then it hit me. What was my purpose in teaching these kids piano? The teachers had been taught us multiple things with the method, but we still had the freedom of teaching to our students’ needs.
So what was the purpose? I wanted my students to love learning and playing the piano. I wanted them to enjoy the process and recognize that making mistakes is all a part of it.
From then on, I made sure that each activity I did with my students was purposeful, that it would truly help them enjoy learning and motivate them to keep learning.
That changed everything for me.
An alaka’i is full of purpose.
They don’t do things for attention, glory, or popularity. They do things to serve. Their whole purpose is to lift others, not leave them hanging with ignorance or shame. They even carry others, when necessary, empathizing and giving grace in the difficult times of life.
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An alaka’i leads by example
Another thing I learned from teaching piano is to be the example.
I couldn’t expect my students to practice the piano if I didn’t practice. I also learned that if I played something sloppy or haphazardly, they would play—and act—that very way.
I wasn’t always a perfect piano teacher, but I tried my best, keeping my purpose in mind, and seeking to lift my students. I also continued to improve myself as a pianist. I played new and harder songs, and even sought lessons from another, more experienced pianist.
Being an alaka’i requires a lot of work, which is why not everyone choose to be a leader. And that’s ok too. We always need a combination of both. But I truly hope that one day, every person can step up to the plate in one way or form.
Whether you are an alaka’i in your family, church, community, or world, I hope you can always seek to serve, to lift, and to carry. A true alaka’i also tries to become their best self, so let us, as alaka’i, strive to do that as well.
With joy + aloha,
Leialoha
Are you an alaka’i?
Let me know in the comments below what you’ve done to be a strong leader!
If you’d like to learn more about the Hawaiian values, check out my 5 Hawaiian Days to Wellness mini course–and it’s totally FREE!
However, laulima gives us the visual insight into the life of ancient Hawaii. It reminds us that universal values are timeless–the community and goodness within it is not lost.
While the ancient Hawaiians built unity, we, too, can build unity in our own communities.
Laulima and Ancient Hawaiian Communities
In ancient Hawaii, people lived in little communities. The communities survived and thrived off the contribution of each member, from the fishers, to the weavers, and farmers. Most of the people lived in ahapua’a, which followed a river that exited into the sea. The fishers traded with the farmers upstream, and the way of life was so well-organized that the ancient Hawaiians had more time for leisure activities like hula dancing and tapa-cloth making.
A tradition of laulima that started much later on the islands is the hukilau, where members of the community cast a giant net into the sea. The net required everyone to pull it in.
“Two, three, huki!” the community chanted in unison.
When the net finally dragged onto the shore, the leaders divided the fish amongst the families.
It brought a sense of community. It reminded us that “we are all in this together.”
Thinking about ancient Hawaiian communities makes me wonder how we can foster this sense of community in our own cities, churches, neighborhoods, and even our workplaces.
The funny thing is… I’m writing this article during the COVID-19 pandemic. We are all separated in our homes, and can’t go out unless we absolutely need to.
But there is a sense of community in the fact that the whole world is going through this together.
Here’s the key to laulima: When we share experiences, we grow stronger together.
People are stepping up from all over the world to sew masks, donate goods, and support essential workers. Acts of kindness are being done all over the world. For once, we are putting aside our differences to put our hands together (metaphorically, of course) for good.
How can we keep this spirit of laulima alive, even after the pandemic is over?
Or have you ever gone to an amazing camp, retreat, or conference where you felt unified with others? How can we keep that spirit even after those moments where we felt united?
How did the ancient Hawaiians keep the spirit of laulima, even when they didn’t hold a hukilau?
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We share experiences.
Every life is different, but we all still experience grief, sorrow, and pain. We experience regret, guilt, and resent. We also experience peace, happiness, and joy.
In one way or another, we can all connect and relate to one another.
We can share our stories. When we share in the emotions and feelings of others, we become a little closer, a little more united.
Even if we don’t agree with someone on a political, financial, or religious view, we can still be a part of the community. We can still be civil and loving, even amidst our differences. This is the value of aloha.
Just as we put our hands together to solve a common problem (the pandemic), we can do it again.
We can fight hunger, corrupt systems, poverty, abortion, racism, and so many other terrible things happening in the world.
Share joyful experiences too
Not all experiences need be sad to foster laulima!
My dad abused us, and my parent’s divorce took painfully long. My siblings and I went through the wringer (mentally, emotionally, physically) because of it.
Here’s the thing though…
We share in the difficulties of our experiences, but we also CREATE new experiences–joyful ones!
People get jealous because of the fun events my siblings and I plan, which create new, joyful memories for us together. For example, one year I put together a Harry Potter party and my siblings fully stepped up to the occasion, even dressing up for it! For Thanksgiving or Chinese New Year, we all put our hands together to bring food and celebrate.
When we create these meaningful experiences, we create joyful memories. We foster the spirit of lokahi and laulima.
The world needs the spirit of laulima more than ever before. What are some ways you can live the value of laulima in your life? In your family, community, church, school, and so forth?
What will you do to foster laulima in your circle?
Let’s hear from you! Let us know in the comments below!
E komo mai! 🌺 I am the author of Aloha State of Mind, a self help book that teaches you how to create paradise wherever you are. My blog, Naturally Aloha, focuses on all things Hawaii: culture, values, food, lifestyle, and more. I hope my writing inspires you to carry aloha with you everywhere! Learn more…
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