Depression brings on many suicidal thoughts, but one thing I’ve found, as someone with high functioning depression, is that suicidal thoughts don’t always mean you want to commit suicide. Thinking about death just seems to be a common plight of those with depression. 

I find myself thinking about death quite often, but I don’t want to die, and I don’t want to commit suicide. However, in reflecting on this I realized that I’m not the only one with this problem. In talking to close friends and family who have depression or anxiety, I discovered that they sometimes experience suicidal thoughts too. 

So whether you are hanging by a thread or wondering what to do about those thoughts, here are some tips to help you. 

Tell someone 

Seek help right away if it’s serious. If you are planning a suicide or forming ways you can carry it out, call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1-800-273-8255 or a trusted family member or friend. If you are just thinking about suicide but not acting on it, please, please, please still talk to someone. 

The first time I talked to my husband about it, he was blown away. He had no idea that I thought those kinds of things. I told him about the various scenarios that would come up and the times that they occurred. Just talking to him about it took a load off my shoulders and helped me not feel so alone. I also tell him each time I have suicidal thoughts so that he can offer assistance if it gets worse for me. 

Just letting someone know that you’re having those thoughts, like a spouse or trusted friend, and helping them understand the level of severity will help you. I feel like I see things more clearly when I just tell someone what I’m thinking and can let that load off. 

Write about it 

Just as talking to someone helps lighten the load, writing about it can too. As a college student in Utah, I felt like I had absolutely nobody to talk to. I didn’t have any trusted friends, and my sisters lived 4 hours away. So I opened up a word document and typed out all of my feelings. Seeing them on written down felt pretty cleansing, as though I could now release all of them. I believe you will feel the same way if you write down your feelings. 

Discover your triggers 

I don’t always think about death and dying. In fact, I noticed that these thoughts are usually triggered by something else. Extreme stress, fatigue, hunger, and even just random things that people do or say can trigger the suicidal thoughts. 

So in addition to the tip before (writing about it), record things that happened before you started having the suicidal thoughts. Did someone say something or treat you a certain way? Were you totally stressed out? Did you feel overwhelmed by something? 

By writing down the things that trigger the suicidal thoughts, it makes it easier to know what to avoid and/or let go. 

Don’t dwell on it 

Suicidal thoughts can last for days. The longest I’ve had to deal with them was probably about 2 weeks, but for some people with severe depression, it can be even longer. 

The key to letting go of the suicidal thoughts is to stop dwelling on it. I know that’s hard to say when your brain keeps moving it back to the front of your brain, but as you practice controlling your thoughts and learning strategies to cope, you strengthen your willpower. It makes it easier to stop thinking about suicidal thoughts in the future when you choose it. 

Practice self-awareness 

Self awareness means that you are conscious of your thoughts, character, and behaviors. Lack of self awareness can make you feel numb, leading to confusion, hopelessness, and even suicide itself. 

There are ways to develop self-awareness, such as thinking about thinking. 

Really listen to your thoughts and your brain. An example of an internal conversation might look like this. “What am I thinking? Are my thoughts reasonable? If they aren’t, do I have the emotional and mental capacity to be reasonable at the moment? If not, who can I go to for help?” 

Let your thoughts be the servant and you the master. You tell them what to think and do. 

Don’t be alone 

I’ve found that suicidal thoughts stick their ugly heads up when I’m alone. It seems to know that I’m the most vulnerable when I’m alone. I listen to them because I’m not paying attention to something else or being with someone else. 

Don’t get me wrong on this. It’s totally ok to be alone, and I enjoy some quiet time to myself. But if you have severe suicidal thoughts, it’s best to find someone and tell them, or reach out to someone. I text my husband and tell him how I’m feeling but I always reassure him that I’m ok because I am self aware and know that the feelings aren’t severe. 

I hope something here has helped you with your suicidal thoughts. Thinking about death isn’t something to be afraid of, and you shouldn’t feel bad that those things crop up. However, it is SO important to get the help you need, whether it’s talking to a counselor, friend, family member, church leader, or just calling the suicide prevention hotline. 

Developing skills of self awareness and avoiding or overcoming triggers can help you dodge or even completely eliminate suicidal thoughts in the long run. 

I am sending all the good vibes and hope your way as you continue your journey through this! 

Lots of aloha, 

Lei 

P.S. If you want to dig a little deeper into strengthening your character to deal with these kinds of things, sign up for my free mini course, 5 Hawaiian Days to Wellness! I promise you’ll love it! And it’s FREE! 

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