The Hawaiian word pau means finished, completed, or done.

“Pau” is probably one of the more commonly used Hawaiian words by locals all over the Hawaiian islands. Those raised in homes where Pidgin English, Hawaii’s Creole language, is spoken are also very familiar with this word. 

As a young girl, to tell my parents I was finished eating, I would say, “I’m pau.”

My parents also had a specific hand gesture, extending both palms up and twisting them, as if to show there was “no more” in their hands. Even if my siblings or I asked permission to do a certain activity, or go a certain place, they would do that hand motion to symbolize it was all done, and the answer was “no.”

The value of Pau

Although the word pau is not a Hawaiian value, and is more commonly used in its literal sense, meaning that something is done, this word has a lot of significance to me. I’d like to share with you why this word means so much, and how you can use it in your life too. 

Here is the dictionary definition of “pau,” and I hope it illustrates the value of it better:

• Finished
• Ended
• Through
• Terminated
• Completed
• Over
• All done
• Entirely
• Completely
• After
• To be completely possessed
• Consumed
• Destroyed

In life we go through challenges and hardships. None of us are immune. Sometimes others cause the challenges. And other times, we cause the challenges.

Either way, when we overcome the challenge, we usually forget to have closure. 

Closure means that:

• You’ve processed what happened
• Took out the lessons from the experience
• Grieved what you needed to grieve
• Felt joy for whatever you needed to feel joy for
• And you can now move on. 

Many people don’t have closure with things that happened in their lives. Most of us just stuff everything down, and, when a moment related (or sometimes unrelated) to a tragic past event occurs, we are undone.

Undone.

That means we break down, feel triggered, anxious, or depressed about something we figuratively “swept under the bed” for years. 

Pau is closure

We should give ourselves the time to process things—even things that happen on a normal basis. For example, I’ve struggled with family for many years. Because I’ve never been able to trust my extended family, it’s hard to trust the in-laws. After getting together with in-laws, I feel exhausted. But I give myself grace and time to process. 

I give myself that grace because I know it’s not my fault. I deserve to give myself credit for trying, process, and have closure with whatever happened that day with the in-laws. 

Whatever your struggle, give yourself the grace and time of processing, growing, and closing. 

Pau is completion 

How often do we easily forgive others, but hold onto the grudges against ourselves? Do you get annoyed or impatient with yourself for past mistakes? Even if you have forgiven yourself, do you often go back and forth, feeling bad then OK about it? 

We can forgive completely and thoroughly with Christ. If we don’t think we can move forward, turn to him. Because he suffered for all of us, we can repent and become better. We can finally be PAU with the things that have hurt us, whether by others or ourselves. 

We can start over, rejoice in life, and change. Pau is completion. It’s moving past our mistakes and seeking to try again. 

We’re human and we slip up all the time. But with Christ, we can truly be pau with the mistakes we’ve made. 

Pau is hopeful

Even though pau is just a commonly used word in Hawaii, I’ve used it many times in my life to be pau with difficult things, be pau with bad habits, be pau with relationships or things that weren’t serving me. 

So pau is hopeful. We’ll never be pau with learning, as we grow, make mistakes, and try again everyday. But hopefully, as we recognize the things we can be pau with, it will bring even more joy into our lives. 

With aloha, 

Leialoha 

Let’s hear it from you!

How do you have closure with certain things in your life? What are some things that it’s time to be pau with? Share in the comments below! Mahalo!

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