The Hawaiian word “ahonui” means “patience, long suffering, and tolerance.” When broken down, the word gives us insight into how to exercise patience, even in unpleasant circumstances.
Aho means “breath or to breathe”
Nui means “big, large, long, or great.”
Divers and chanters hold their breath for long periods of time in order to perform well. It isn’t always comfortable to hold onto a long breath, but what about taking deep breaths? Taking deep breaths can actually help us exercise patience, see the bigger picture, and stay calm and cool, even in the most stressful situations.
We need patience every day of our lives, as we deal with other people, situations, and even ourselves. Patience helps us live aloha by helping us value and love ourselves and others more. Ahonui encourages us to take a deep breath before reacting.
Here are some practical ways to take the “long breath” and practice the virtue and value of ahonui.
Wait without getting frustrated
Patience is the ability to wait without getting angry or frustrated. It takes a great amount of self control to live the value of ahonui, but making a clear decision ahead of time should help. When emotional, stressful, or irritating circumstances happen—as they always will—let us carefully check our response.
Are we getting frustrated? Why?
What does the situation look from another person’s point of view? Maybe we’re waiting in a long line, dealing with a child’s tantrum, or sitting in traffic. What can we learn from this experience, and how can we do better next time?
Sometimes it’s helpful to talk out our impatience with others or write in a journal. Self reflection can reveal some of our deeper frustrations, the things at our core that trigger impatience at the surface.
Ahonui focuses on the bigger perspective
Sometimes we simply forget the bigger picture. With ahonui, we take a great breath to ‘ike loa, see much. What is our main goal?
The little bumps along the way are just that—bumps. We’ll get over them, even if it takes longer than we hoped. As we keep our eyes on the end goal, it helps us endure—even tolerate—any current inconveniences.
As a writer, I often feel impatient with how long it takes to write and publish a book. I sometimes compare myself to other published authors and feel like I’m behind. But when I focus on the bigger picture, I see that this is my journey, and ahonui is helping me get to where I want to go. As I continue my writing journey with care, ahonui encourages me to take a deep breath, appreciate the moment, and not get frustrated with inconveniences or the length of time it takes to write and publish.
Similarly, as creatives, employees, employers, parents, spouses, and in so many roles in our lives, we may feel impatient that things don’t go as quickly or smoothly as we like.
Yet with ahonui, we can breathe easier and even enjoy our time. With bumps and valleys to get through, our deep breaths can help us focus on the end goal. These inconveniences will pass, and our long suffering will be worth it in the end.
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Ahonui helps us find the root of the problem
Sometimes the problem isn’t the current problem in front of us that makes us impatient. Something deeper within us needs some attention and care. Are we taking care of ourselves?
When we’re tired, hungry, or stressed about something else, impatience rears its ugly head.
So what is happening deeper inside of us?
As mentioned earlier, talking to a friend or journaling helps us discover the deeper problem. We should also make sure we’re caring for the basics of our health: getting enough sleep, drinking enough water, not overbooking or overdoing it, maintaining healthy relationships, etc.
Know our triggers
Knowing our triggers also helps us deal with impatience. Sometimes past experiences emotionally and mentally scar us, and we should try to notice any patterns we see with our own impatience.
Does impatience usually happen in certain scenarios, places, or even with specific people?
For example, I get incredibly impatient from being on a boat. I’d only been on my grandpa’s boat once in Hawaii as a teenager, and the experience wasn’t terribly amazing. But when I moved to the mainland and married my husband, I quickly learned that his family loves boating. I began to realize how grumpy, angry, and—frankly—frustrated I felt after boating. I’m simply not a fan of the wind blowing my hair everywhere—especially when it starts to get cold—or being on a boat for a long time. So I had two decisions: I could learn to enjoy boating, or I could simply not go on the boat.
Finding the root of the problem helps us understand ourselves better and make clear decisions on how to navigate going forward. It shows aloha to ourselves—and others, as nobody wants to deal with a grumpy, frustrated person. 😛 But, even more than that, it helps us live the value of ahonui. Not only do we take a deep breath to gain clarity and evaluate the situation, but we learn how to more fully live with patience.
Ho’omanawanui, twin value to ahonui
Ho’omanawanui helps us bear through long seasons of our lives. Sometimes we have to suffer for a long time, and, as frustrating as it is, both ho’omanawanui and ahonui make us stronger people. Sometimes there is no end in sight, and long suffering begs us to take deep breaths and live in the now. Stay present, stay grounded, and remember that these values help us grow in the end.
Ahonui is truly a blessing. As we learn to take deep breaths in life, it can dazzle us with the lessons we’ve learned and the aloha that abounds. One thing I’ve learned with ahonui is to not take things too seriously. It’s ok to laugh, instead of lashing out in anger. Humor helps us find joy in life. If we take things too seriously, everything can frustrate us. So let us take deep breaths as we live, love, and laugh.
With aloha,
Lei
Let’s hear it from you!
What are your thoughts on the value of ahonui? Does patience come naturally for you? Do you have tips for those struggling with patience? Let us know in the comments! Mahalo for your help!
Po’okela is the Hawaiian word meaning “superior, best,” and “outstanding.” The value of po’okela teaches us to strive for excellence and do outstanding work. In Hawaii, most schools, churches, and community organizations, frequently refer to po’okela as a core value because it helps everyone in the group give 110%.
When we give our best, we feel our best. In all that we do, striving for excellence helps us honor and respect our creativity, gifts, and talents. It gives us a zest for life because we think “beyond” the box, not just “outside the box.” We use our unique personality and gifts to contribute in meaningful ways.
Because of po’okela, we go beyond the bare minimum. Doing that opens a space of aloha for others to do the same. When everyone strives for excellence, relationships are healthy, work environments and spaces function properly, and efficiency comes naturally.
Here are some other keys to living po’okela in our daily lives:
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Do outstanding work
Like ho’ohana, the value of po’okela encourages us to work hard and do meaningful work. But what if we took it a step further to do outstanding work?
Too often we limit ourselves because an idea of ours hasn’t been done yet. We feel scared or anxious that others will reject or mock our efforts.
But with po’okela, we focus on what we can control, and we make an effort to ignore the doubters, haters, and critics. Every person has a purpose here on this earth, and as we do outstanding work, that purpose becomes clearer and clearer.
One thing that most people (including myself) love about the Hawaiian culture is the constant attitude of giving and going above and beyond. Growing up, I truly treasured the times I went into the yard, picked some ti leaves, and made lei to celebrate a special event like graduation, the holidays, or just because someone shared good news. People always seemed incredibly thoughtful, and good news shared by one person was good news for every person. Leis, food, and hugs were always given quickly and without any second thoughts.
What if we extended this generosity and thoughtfulness into more than getting a gift for a friend? Can we exercise the value of po’okela more in our relationships?
Instead of scrolling through our phone as someone talks or turning on a tv show instead of interacting with a loved one, what if we gave others our full attention? How about going above and beyond in remembering details about others? Do we need to exercise more patience with family members? Extend forgiveness?
We should ask ourselves, on a weekly—if not daily—basis: How can I strive for excellence in my relationships?
Avoid Being Kapulu (sloppy)
Growing up, my parents ensured that my siblings and I strove for excellence. Because of this, they discouraged us to be kapulu (sloppy), pilau (dirty), or unorganized. But one thing my dad said that always stuck with me (for better or worse) was not to do things “half-okole.” Well, ‘okole means bottom, butt, etc so you get the idea haha.
Anyway, I grew up always thinking that. In everything I did, even in jobs I strongly disliked, I put in my best effort–not half, not a quarter, not even 75%, but my best. I have tried to avoid sloppiness, laziness, and apathy.
When we do quality work, we get quality outcomes. I didn’t have to work uncomfortable and tiring jobs too long, as my efforts led me to network with others who offered better jobs.
As I’m currently writing books and creating content, I always try to ask myself: Is this the best I can do?
Po’okela means “best, outstanding, greatest” and even “champion!” Similar to ‘imi ola, where our call is to seek the highest in life, po’okela teaches us to do our best, to strive for quality in all that we do.
It’s easy to get lazy at a job or in relationships, but po’okela encourages us to do better. In high school, my teachers, coaches, counselors, and even the school kahu (pastor) said this word all the time. They drilled it into us and it sure worked because even to this day, I remember how important it is to live the value of po’okela.
Give 110%
Similar to the value of laulima and ho’okipa, po’okela invites us to give 110%. Growing up in Hawaii, many local athletes would say, “I gave 110%.” This mindset always stuck with me. If we give 110%, how would our relationships, creative projects, career, schooling, or current season of life change?
Questions to help us live po’okela:
1. Is there a project you’re currently working on? How can you put excellence and quality into it? Quality and excellence usually happen when we set time aside for our work, eliminate distractions, and have fun! Create that space for yourself so that you can do your best work!
2. Is there a relationship (especially those with a spouse or kids) that is at mediocre quality? What is something you can do to make it better? (Check out the blog for inspiration, or check out the 5 Hawaiian Days to Wellness Course) Do something fun and make meaningful memories!
3. Are you striving for excellence in your career, school, or your current season in life (parenting, service, volunteer work, etc)?
Whenever we slump into laziness or sloppiness we really do ourselves a disservice. It’s ok to take breaks and not do everything perfect, but it’s also important to honor ourselves with the quality of work that we do, in whatever season of life we might be in.
So I hope this is an amazing spring season for you as we all strive to live po’okela.
With aloha always,
Leialoha
Your turn!
How do you live the value of po’okela? Please let us know in the comments!
The Hawaiian word pā’ina is a small party, potluck, or dinner. The Hawaiian word ho’olaulea is a large party or celebration. No blog about Hawaii would be complete without a discussion on food. Food plays a powerful role in every culture, as it brings people together, nourishes the body and spirit, and makes us all feel better in general. Especially in Hawaii, never underestimate the power of food to open hearts and spread aloha.
The Hawaiian luau portrays the value of pā’ina
The Hawaiian luau draws people to touristy night shows, full of music, dancing, and traditional luau food. The dancers, with their colorful costumes, hip-shaking action, fire knives, and bright smiles, light up the stage. The pounding of the drum fills the salty night air, and the smell of food makes any person’s stomach growl in anticipation.
The luau plate is a pageant of colors: green laulau with salty, hot pork in the center, pink poke, red lomi lomi salmon, tender kalua pig, white rice, mac salad, chicken long rice, white squares of haupia, and, of course, purple poi. Occasionally, depending on who hosts the luau, shoyu or katsu chicken, purple sweet potato, or teriyaki beef is added to the plate.This is a taste of the islands, a plate that probably can’t get more traditionally Hawaiian.
Food nourishes us
No matter if the visitor to Hawaii gets a taste of this ‘ono (delicious) food at a tourist luau, or a family member’s luau–baby’s first birthday, a wedding, graduation, and anniversary–good food and entertainment does something for the soul. When we eat well, we feel well.
Although luau is the most commonly used word in Hawaii for a feast, I grew up using the word pāʻina, which is a meal, dinner, or small party with food. Pāʻina is a time for us to gather and appreciate one another, all over a delicious, heart-warming meal. With pāʻina, we learn how to use food to serve and give, bring our loved ones together and bond, and celebrate life.
Using food as a tool to assemble, meet, and love one another, we create a space of aloha. Our hearts are never far from Hawaii when we learn to use food in the right way for ourselves and others.
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Have pāʻina for others
No matter the event, my high school classmates and teammates always talked about having pāʻina. They wanted to have a party, so we had pāʻina for big things and little things: when we finished a test, for someone’s birthday, when we had a special sports practice, on weekends after races and sports events, and the list could go on. I couldn’t always bring food because of my family’s circumstances, but I did enjoy the idea of celebration.
We should celebrate both little and big successes in life. How often do we get down on ourselves because we focus on the negatives? “We didn’t do this, we didn’t do that, and we failed at that…” In our culture, and with the rise of social media, each of us tends to focus only on our flaws and weaknesses, the negative stuff.
But what about the good things we do? All of us do great things every single day. While we don’t need to host a big party or have plenty of guests over, how can we celebrate the goodness of our lives and others? After a long day of work, I definitely savor a meal–I earned the meal.
When we had pāʻina in high school, everyone brought food to contribute, and we just enjoyed one another’s company. We were able to kick back and relax, including the teacher, for just a moment. It was a celebration of little and big victories.
Pā’ina celebrates little and big victories
But the concept of pāʻina can go even further than a little get together. For those with mental illness or debilitating struggles, a pāʻina can mean just celebrating the fact we got up and put ourselves together for the day. For those who work hard at their jobs to provide, the pāʻina can include spending meaningful time with loved ones.
There are so many reasons to have a pāʻina. We don’t have to do anything huge or special, like a ho’olaulea, which involves lots of people, food, and usually dance. But we can just do something small, yet rewarding. We should give ourselves and others credit for the big and small wins in life.
Know limits
I had an aunty who always said, “No limit!” when we visited her house. She brought out pan after pan of pani popo (rolls in coconut pudding), laualau, and made one fresh batch of rice after the next. When we slowed down, she still made other food, as if she expected a second wave of hunger to wash over us. I could never imagine her doing anything else in life except cooking… because she always had food in the house, and she always made sure we ate.
My siblings and I remember her words: “No limit!” She said it over and over again, placing more food in front of our loaded plates. I was only in my pre-teen years, but I had already developed a bad relationship with food. To me, anything I put into my body made me fat. While the food tasted good, all I could think was that this would be some extra pounds I wouldn’t be able to lose.
The truth about food
At some point in our lives, every one of us realizes we might have a bad relationship with food. Some of us have “no limits” when it comes to food: we eat when we’re bored, sad, tired, happy, and angry. We eat any kind of food–good and bad. Some of us have no limits on our mental relationship with food: we think (as I did) that any food entering our bodies does it no good. Some of us eat food uncontrollably, unable to stop.
With pāʻina, we know our limits. It’s true that when we attend parties, we usually find ourselves gouging on the food, eating more than we normally would. It’s just a fact that some of us are social eaters, eating more when we’re with people. And that’s ok–eating food together symbolizes becoming a part of one another’s lives, partaking of and sharing in each other’s goodness and love.
However, we should always know our limits. Do we have a tendency to only focus on the food? What about the people, the reason for gathering?
Even in our personal daily lives, do we know our limits with food? Pāʻina especially tastes delicious when we deserve it. Are we living our lives so the food tastes deserving? Hawaiian food isn’t always the healthiest food, and I’m aware of that. This is a reason I don’t eat Hawaiian food all the time! It tastes delicious, but it’s also just kind of heavy. Do we know our limits on “treats?”
When we create a better relationship with food, knowing our limits, we feel better about ourselves. Food becomes a tool that we use to nourish ourselves and others, sharing greater aloha through a physical means.
Pā’ina nourishes joy
When my little sister graduated from college, she and her husband moved right away. It was a busy time of life, so we didn’t get to do anything to celebrate. About a month or two later, I told her we were going to have a pā’ina to celebrate her receiving her degree.
It meant so much to her, but it also meant a lot to me. As I served her, I felt a nourishment of joy–not only from the food, but the company and celebration. I’m so grateful for the value of pā’ina. It taught me how to celebrate life and nourish the good in life. Too often we focus on the negative, but there is so much good being done, and so many positives!
So have a happy pā’ina—for all your little and big successes!
With aloha,
Leialoha
P.S. Want to learn more about the Hawaiian values? Check out my Free resources to bring aloha home!
Let’s hear it from you!
How do you celebrate pā’ina with your loved ones? Let us know in the comments below!
The Hawaiian word pau means finished, completed, or done.
“Pau” is probably one of the more commonly used Hawaiian words by locals all over the Hawaiian islands. Those raised in homes where Pidgin English, Hawaii’s Creole language, is spoken are also very familiar with this word.
As a young girl, to tell my parents I was finished eating, I would say, “I’m pau.”
My parents also had a specific hand gesture, extending both palms up and twisting them, as if to show there was “no more” in their hands. Even if my siblings or I asked permission to do a certain activity, or go a certain place, they would do that hand motion to symbolize it was all done, and the answer was “no.”
The value of Pau
Although the word pau is not a Hawaiian value, and is more commonly used in its literal sense, meaning that something is done, this word has a lot of significance to me. I’d like to share with you why this word means so much, and how you can use it in your life too.
Here is the dictionary definition of “pau,” and I hope it illustrates the value of it better:
Finished
Ended
Through
Terminated
Completed
Over
All done
Entirely
Completely
After
To be completely possessed
Consumed
Destroyed
In life we go through challenges and hardships. None of us are immune. Sometimes others cause the challenges. And other times, we cause the challenges.
Either way, when we overcome the challenge, we usually forget to have closure.
Closure means that:
You’ve processed what happened
Took out the lessons from the experience
Grieved what you needed to grieve
Felt joy for whatever you needed to feel joy for
And you can now move on.
Many people don’t have closure with things that happened in their lives. Most of us just stuff everything down, and, when a moment related (or sometimes unrelated) to a tragic past event occurs, we are undone.
Undone.
That means we break down, feel triggered, anxious, or depressed about something we figuratively “swept under the bed” for years.
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Pau is closure
We should give ourselves the time to process things—even things that happen on a normal basis. For example, I’ve struggled with family for many years. Because I’ve never been able to trust my extended family, it’s hard to trust the in-laws. After getting together with in-laws, I feel exhausted. But I give myself grace and time to process.
I give myself that grace because I know it’s not my fault. I deserve to give myself credit for trying, process, and have closure with whatever happened that day with the in-laws.
Whatever your struggle, give yourself the grace and time of processing, growing, and closing.
Pau is completion
How often do we easily forgive others, but hold onto the grudges against ourselves? Do you get annoyed or impatient with yourself for past mistakes? Even if you have forgiven yourself, do you often go back and forth, feeling bad then OK about it?
We can forgive completely and thoroughly with Christ. If we don’t think we can move forward, turn to him. Because he suffered for all of us, we can repent and become better. We can finally be PAU with the things that have hurt us, whether by others or ourselves.
We can start over, rejoice in life, and change. Pau is completion. It’s moving past our mistakes and seeking to try again.
We’re human and we slip up all the time. But with Christ, we can truly be pau with the mistakes we’ve made.
Pau is hopeful
Even though pau is just a commonly used word in Hawaii, I’ve used it many times in my life to be pau with difficult things, be pau with bad habits, be pau with relationships or things that weren’t serving me.
So pau is hopeful. We’ll never be pau with learning, as we grow, make mistakes, and try again everyday. But hopefully, as we recognize the things we can be pau with, it will bring even more joy into our lives.
With aloha,
Leialoha
Let’s hear it from you!
How do you have closure with certain things in your life? What are some things that it’s time to be pau with? Share in the comments below! Mahalo!
Ka lā hiki ola is the Hawaiian saying meaning that each day brings new life and possibility. This saying encourages us to look forward with optimism. No matter what challenges, failures, mistakes, or struggles we face today, we have an opportunity to grow and change with each new day.
Ka lā literally translates to “the day.”
Hiki means – the possibility, can, may, able to
Ola* means – life, health, well-being, and alive.
*On a deeper level, ola can also mean recover, heal, survive, and thrive.
So ka lā hiki ola literally means the possibility of life, wellbeing, and health in each day. How amazing does that sound? Don’t we all want goodness in our lives every day?
How do we embrace each day as an opportunity to for wellbeing, life, and goodness?
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Learning from the Sunrise and Sunset
Have you ever seen the sun rise over the horizon, or the sun set over the ocean? With beautiful pastel colors painting the sky like a rainbow, and the reflection on the sparkling water, sunrises and sunsets are breathtaking.
But what’s more hopeful about sunrises and sunsets are the promises they bring. With each new sunrise, there is the promise of another bright day, another opportunity to try.
With each new sunset, there is the promise of closure, of rest, of reflection. It also promises that the sun will rise tomorrow.
Each day is a gift full of promises, and when we recognize our life as a gift, it changes everything.
We want to do more, be more, and see more. Our desires turn to serving others and becoming a force of good in the world.
We want every person to feel the promises of a new day for themselves.
It’s suddenly plain to see that we are not made for endings, but for beautiful beginnings.
Each day is brand new.
Here are more ways to live this value.
Ka lā hiki ola means to look for the positives
Our lives are full of heartache and trials, but when we live by this saying, we look for the positives. We look for reasons to smile and rejoice.
We rejoice for others too. Even though we all fail at times, we’re just happy to be here.
I’m an optimist. I see the hard things in life, but I choose to focus on the good. When we focus on gratitude, the things we can control, and the goodness that happens every day in our lives, we attract more good things.
Treat each day as an opportunity to heal
Too many people get wrapped up in the humdrum of life, stuck in old beliefs passed down from generations before, or beliefs that we created ourselves.
What if we took time each day to heal these emotional wounds? Healing takes time, but when we focus energy on it, we can free ourselves of the burdens placed on us, and that we’ve been carrying for a long time.
For me, the promise of a new day inspires me because of Jesus Christ. Having gone through poverty, abuse, and hunger, I looked to the sun everyday in excitement because of Him. Healing didn’t come instantly, but it came. And with each new day, I began to thrive.
This talk has really inspired me to find purpose and joy in my life because of Jesus Christ:
Visualize your life with the hope of ka lā hiki ola
It’s easy to think that this Hawaiian saying won’t do any good. Besides, we all know that each day is brand new. But would it change your perspective if we said that each day is a brand new opportunity for more happiness? Or more peace? Or more abundance? How does that change things?
Take the time to visualize your “brand new day,” and get excited for it! We only have one shot at this life so let’s take advantage of the time we have here.
Ka lā hiki ola. Each day is brand new. Every day is beautiful, inspiring, and exciting. It promises possibilities, a thriving life, and more.
So let’s go live!
With joy and aloha,
Leialoha
A similar value to ka lā hiki ola is ho’ohana, which is the value of doing meaningful work. Ho’ohana helps us find purpose in our everyday lives. After reading through this, consider reviewing ho’ohana to help you look forward to each new day, in addition to the value of ka lā hiki ola.
Let’s hear from you!
What helps you look forward to each new day of life? Let me know in the comments below!
E komo mai! 🌺 I am the author of Aloha State of Mind, a self help book that teaches you how to create paradise wherever you are. My blog, Naturally Aloha, focuses on all things Hawaii: culture, values, food, lifestyle, and more. I hope my writing inspires you to carry aloha with you everywhere! Learn more…
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