I often talk about “coming from a place of love” in my articles and in my life. I figured since I talk about it so much, I should go into even more detail about what this means and how to do it.
Coming from a place of love sounds pretty self-explanatory. However, you’ll be surprised how many times I’ve invited people to come from a place of love, and instead they come from a place of fear.
There’s a scripture that says:
“Perfect love casteth out all fear.”
When we have love for others, ourselves, and God, we see things from a grander perspective. Instead of fearing change, the unknown, rejection, or other common fears of people, we see opportunity, progress, motivation, and adventure, to name a few.
Coming from a place of love puts you in a position of understanding, humility, compassion, and empathy. This is pure aloha. It basically means that you recognize fears for what they are: fears. You see that they can be overcome.
In most of my messages, I invite you to come from a place of love because when you do, you are gentler on yourself. You recognize that you have fears, weaknesses, and you make mistakes—but that isn’t the whole story. In fact, those are just pieces of the story that have helped mold you into who you are. You are an amazing, worthy, beautiful human being with the capacity to love, be loved, and to create change in your world and in the world of others.
When you come from a place of love, you show love for yourself and honor to God for his creation of the unique person of YOU. You recognize that hiccups and bumps happen all along this journey of life, but God still loves you—he always has and always will. You know that no matter your mistakes or weaknesses, he infinitely loves you—why else would he have created you? 😉
So whether you are doing a negativity detox or making an effort to show up in life, come from a place of recognize. See the big picture and recognize that this is just one part of your journey. You are a growing, progressing, and learning individual with the potential to fulfill the measure of your creation.
Negativity is a fact of life because we all experience negative thoughts at one point or another. It’s ok to have them, but if you continue to feed them they can turn into more serious problems like depression or anxiety. If you already have a mental illness then you know that negativity is the common plight—it’s as if it never seems to go away. I’ve found that doing a negativity detox really helped me overcome my depression and to this day it makes my life more enjoyable and satisfying.
When I choose positivity and remove the negativity, I reach my goals quicker because I’m more motivated, excited, and happy. I am more creative and I have more capacity to share light and serve others.
To do a negativity detox, I’ve outlined the simple steps here. To be completely honest, these “simple” steps are MUCH easier said than done. They might take time and practice, but with the intention to change, I know you can do it. I also invite you to come from a place of love. We are often too hard on ourselves, criticizing our every move. Instead of demeaning yourself for mistakes or weaknesses, come from a place of love in recognizing that there is always room for improvement and change. So read on to learn how to do a thorough negativity detox and invite the light and aloha back into your life!
Get grounded
Often we are in our own little headspace, so wrapped up in what’s going on up there that we can’t even focus on what’s really going on in reality. This usually occurs when we feel like we made a mistake, don’t look good, or have a personal weakness that’s hard to overcome.
First of all, you look great. 🙂 Secondly, we all make mistakes and we all have weaknesses—it’s just a fact of life. However, the problem comes when we start replaying our flaws over and over in our heads. We analyze our every move, our every intention…
It’s OK to evaluate yourself and seek to improve but it’s not ok to bash on yourself for it. Definitely make things right if you hurt someone, but from what I’m guessing, you’re like me and bash on yourself for the littlest things: “Did I say the right thing?” “Why did I wear that?” “I looked so stupid…”
The negative self talk can go on and on—I know it because I’ve been there! When you start getting trapped in the headspace, put both feet on the ground, take a deep breath, and then STOP. Consciously stop the negative thoughts right in their tracks.
Continue taking deep breaths. Allow the negative energy to leave your body and replace them with positive, affirmative sentences like, “You did your best out there” or “You look great” or “I learned a valuable lesson.”
Say whatever you need to get the positive energy back. Too often we take the magnifying glass and zoom up on our flaws and weaknesses. Let’s get grounded by taking conscious hold of the magnifying glass and viewing the good things we do.
Align with your purpose
Negativity loves it when we lack purpose. I remember, as a new piano teacher at a local music school, I learned a piano teaching method totally out of my comfort zone. My first few weeks of teaching were difficult. I felt unprepared and didn’t understand the WHY behind some of the piano methods and activities.
When our trainer came to town, we, the piano teachers, loaded him with questions about the curriculum and how it could possibly work. He finally paused us and asked, “Whenever you teach something to your students, ask yourself: ‘What is the purpose?’”
That made me think a lot. Because I didn’t know the purpose–the WHY– behind some of the class activities, it brought negativity in the feelings of uncertainty, insecurity, and discouragement. This also applies to our life. If we just go about everyday, not knowing what our purpose is, then how can we be happy? How can we feel meaningful and satisfied?
I’ve gotten into the habit of frequently asking myself, “How can I fulfill the measure of my creation?” I know that God created me for a reason, and that I have an influence to change the world… but I don’t always know how, so I listen to impressions I receive and follow through with them. I intentionally try to align with my purpose everyday.
I do things that feel right and will influence me in the long term. For me, these things include service, creativity, writing, exercising, and learning. Of course there are things that need to get done like laundry and dishes, but those also help me align with my purpose by providing a clean, organized space for me to create. The mundane tasks also help me to stay disciplined with time. As you align with your purpose, you feel the WHY behind your life and give reason to the things you do. This removes negativity as you finally hit your “feel good” spot, the point where you’re doing what you were created to do.
Collect + Create good energy
There is too much negative energy in the world. Hatred, anger, grudges, guilt… those are all negative feelings. Of course you can turn to Christ for repentance, but we can also learn to avoid the negativity in the first place.
I invite you to evaluate things in your life that bring bad energy. One very clear example of bad energy comes in the form of gossiping. Since I was a little girl, I hated gossip—hate is a very strong word, but I just absolutely loathed it, and I still do. Living in Hawaii, I could hear family gossiping in the kitchen about other family members.
They snickered and mocked appearances, living conditions, and lifestyle choices. I naturally distrusted them for this very reason. Growing up I avoided gossip at all costs. When friends or acquaintances started gossiping, I’d say something positive about the person they talked about and then change the subject.
The energy always changed when I changed the subject. It went from this dark, low, sickly form of energy to positive, empowering energy. There’s an old Cherokee story I heard a while ago that goes like this:
“A fight is going on inside me,” An old Cherokee man said to his grandson.
“It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil – he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.”
He continued, “The other is good – he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you – and inside every other person, too.”
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf will win?”
The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”
I don’t think this needs much explanation—it beautifully illustrates exactly how I feel about creating and collecting good energy. I hope you have the wisdom to consciously choose wisely.
Have an attitude of gratitude
The scriptures frequently say to “pray always without ceasing,” and that seems like an exhausting thought. However, I’ve found that praying without ceasing can mean just having a prayer of gratitude in my heart. In my actions and thoughts, I can express tender appreciation for the many little things he’s given me.
If you need to, write lists of things you’re grateful for. Or, in your personal prayers, just do a full prayer of gratitude. You’ll be surprised at how an attitude of gratitude can help you rise above the negativity.
Surround yourself with good things
I am a fan of beautiful things like nature, poetic writing, and peaceful music. I also love being involved in good activities like service to my spouse, family, neighbors, church, community, and my online community (you!). When you surround yourself with positive, wholesome, uplifting people and activities, you become that. Make time to surround yourself with the wonderful and good things in life.
Watch your thoughts
Like the story about the Cherokee man and his grandson, we can choose our thoughts. Obviously we aren’t immune to things we just happen to experience, like seeing pornography on social media or surviving the abuse from someone else, but we can choose how we react to our experiences. Do you feed the things you’ve seen or experienced? Or do you to choose to let them go and continue forward?
Reliving past hurts can cause negativity too. It can truly stop your growth. I know too many people paralyzed by the pain of a breakup, a divorce, or a perceived failure. These life experiences hurt terribly, but don’t let that be your life story. Learn to rise above the negative thoughts and see things for what they really are. If you feel negatively towards someone, try sending good energy their way. Forgiveness is truly a gift from God.
Seek spirituality
I’ve found that my hope and happiness stem from my faith in Jesus Christ. Knowing who he is, learning about him, and constantly striving to follow his example has brought me the greatest satisfaction in life. If I intentionally seek spirituality, my life is so much better.
Having a morning routine of couple and personal prayer, scripture study, and exercise really gets me into the right mindset for the day. I feel empowered knowing that God loves and approves of me. I know the same can happen for you!
Find balance
Sometimes we become negative by doing too much or too little of something. For example, if we exercise too little, we can gain weight, causing lack of confidence… which leads to negativity towards ourselves. Another example is if we do too much of something—like scrolling through social media—then we become negative and even depressed anytime we can’t do it.
Addictions also cause a huge imbalance for the body and mind. Addiction to drugs, alcohol, pornography, or other degrading and harmful habits can truly degrade the soul and cause darkness in our lives. Addictions cause blindness to the things that matter most in life… because all a person can feel is their desire to have more of the addiction. If you need help with an addiction, I encourage you to seek help.
If your addiction is to something like social media, shopping, Netflix, or food, you can still seek help by getting an accountability buddy, someone who you can account to at the end of the day or week.
By overcoming addictions and finding balance in our lives, we have more capacity to see things from a grander perspective. We see that in order to remove negativity, we need a healthy balance in our lives.
In Conclusion
I know that by following these steps you can bring the positivity and good energy back into your life. These strategies have blessed my life, especially in believing and knowing that we create our destiny. No matter the life circumstances, trauma, mental illness, or abuse, the negativity doesn’t have to last forever. We can create our future by grounding ourselves, having an attitude of gratitude, aligning with our purpose, collecting good energy, seeking spirituality, surrounding ourselves with beautiful and good things, and finding balance.
I wish you love and light on your journey. If you want to join my little tribe of people seeking to improve themselves, be sure to hop onto my instagram @ladyleialoha!
Sending all love + good vibes,
Lei
P.S. If you want to do more for your wellness and positivity, I’ve created a free class to help you strengthen your character, improve relationships, and attain overall wellness! Click here to learn more!
Do you feel like you’re in a slump of life, where things are going OK, but they’re not GREAT? You might not feel very fulfilled or satisfied, even if you’re doing good things. It’s like going through the motions. Maybe you’re a college student doing well in classes but feel empty, a working woman with a successful career but who feels unfulfilled, or a stay-at-home mom that feels discontent with certain aspects of life. It’s hard to know what to do or to pinpoint what exactly might be wrong.
These are the times to intentionally show up in life.
Ask yourself: Do I want to get out of the emotional, physical, spiritual, or mental slump I’m in? Do I want to get more out of life? Do I want to be happier and find pleasure and satisfaction in the good things I’m already doing?
There’s a way out of these feelings of boredom, of dissatisfaction, and/or of the slump we all get into. To live with more joy and satisfaction, you will find that showing up in life is the answer. Those who show up in life are mindful, present, observant, and motivated. The following guidelines will help you show up in life and become your best, present, unique YOU.
Be creative
I love the word “creative” because we are all creators. In fact, I truly believe in this cliche but timeless statement:
I believe we create what we become. If you want to be an author, a broadway actor, or a CEO, you have the power to create your future. If you want to be more kind, patient, or loyal, you have the power to create you.
As an example, when I had depression, all I wanted was to be happy. I literally just wanted to feel joy and satisfaction for the things I did—because I did many good things for other people and myself. So I created solutions to my problems. Whenever depression crept up with some new tactic to tear me down, I created a solution (which later helped me to write this Ebook about overcoming depression naturally).
I didn’t have all the answers—nor did the internet or people—because every person has different circumstances. But I did have creativity, and so do you. So if you want to become an author, an astronaut, or something in between but have no formal experience, YOU are the only thing in your way if you never start somewhere. Make your dreams happen by creating opportunities from obstacles, growth from failure, and joy from experience.
Rekindle your Passion
If something that once interested and fascinated you got put on the back burner of your mind, it’s time to bring that to the front and rekindle it. If you can’t remember what gets the fire burning in your soul, check out these questions to find and create you.
By rekindling your passions, you will find a zest for life that you didn’t have before. Doing something you love—whether it’s playing the piano, exercising, or creating something—will foster creativity and feed your soul.
Set goals
If you’ve never tried goal-setting, showing up in life means it’s time to start right now. What are some things you always wanted to do but never had the time or resources? Create opportunities to do these things by setting goals and making plans. If you’re having trouble reaching these goals, think SMART: Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Timely.
Create reasons for joy
Sometimes we get into this funk where nothing makes us happy. When I get sick or nauseous and have no appetite, I feel SO bummed out. Food is one of my little happy places and if I can’t enjoy food, then what can I enjoy? Whether you’re just burnt out from something, or if you feel like the happiness has been sucked out from a regular activity (like playing with the kids, spending time with your spouse, eating, sleeping, etc), create reasons for joy.
With my example of feeling sick from food, I look at the things I’m grateful for. I’m grateful for my body, I’m grateful for the times I feel well and can eat food. I create reasons to have joy even if I don’t feel well enough to eat.
I also distract myself from things I can’t do by doing the things I can. With this food example, I’ll usually just write, talk to my husband, or just rest my stomach so I can feel better. This helps me have joy even if I’m not feeling the best.
Express gratitude
Sometimes life just feels heavy. Whether you’re watching the kids at home or studying for a test, you might feel a little empty inside without any reason. You could have all the things you need: a home, faith in God, food, loved ones… but you just don’t feel right inside.
In moments like these, the best thing to do is express gratitude. Whether you specifically tell someone thank you for something they’re doing, say a prayer to mahalo ke Akua, or write a gratitude list, showing appreciation brings a renewal of light to your soul.
You can express gratitude for even the littlest things, like running water and electricity, a healthy body, clothes, food, snuggles, or certain smells… the list could go on. I wrote tons of lists, especially during depression. These lists helped me see things in a bigger perspective and recognize that I have so many blessings in my life. They also helped me reflect on times I didn’t have the little things, and how merciful and mindful God has been in my life. Once I learned how to appreciate the smallest things in my life, each day became a day of Thanksgiving, a celebration of life, beauty, and faith—even on the hardest days.
Be present
The words “show up” usually apply to attending parties and get togethers. I hate it when people say things like, “You showed up!” in general because it’s always been difficult for me to attend big gatherings—and I know I’m not the only one with that problem. I have surprised myself when I “showed up” to big parties, reunions, or events. As an introvert and empath, talking to and being surrounded by lots of people exhausts me.
Despite having difficulties with big groups, I’ve found that I’ve made the most of my time at big gatherings by being present. Instead of sitting on my phone and scrolling through messages I’ve already seen, or staring out the window, or finding a place of quiet (although these are all good strategies to use if you need to), I was pleasantly surprised to make great memories by interacting with others and even meeting new people.
The same principle applies to our own lives. To show up in life means being present. Instead of spending tons of time scrolling through social media or messages, or mindlessly listening to music or watching too much entertainment, what if you spent more time being there for others? Or being there for yourself? How have you fed your soul?
I read a church talk recently where the speaker said that in life we have “opportunity costs,” meaning that we can be doing things that are good (social media and other forms of entertainment can definitely be good), but we could be doing things that are better. By spending time on mindless activities, we sacrifice the opportunity to do other things. Our temporary pleasure costs us present and future opportunities.
So instead of mindlessly going about the day, I hope you can eliminate opportunity costs and be present in your life. Make more memories with your loved ones, create the things you love, and learn more skills to bless your life and the lives of others.
A final word
To show up in life really brought vibrancy, love, and light into my life. When I intentionally lived my life by being a creator, rekindling passions, setting goals, expressing appreciation, and being present, I experienced daily joy and power I had not previously experienced. My capacity to serve expanded, my desire to do good increased, and I grew in so many ways (spiritually, mentally, and emotionally). I found more faith in God and appreciation for his blessings. In short, my life became fuller. Whenever I look back at the old me in a slump, I’m so grateful that I decided to show up in life. I hope you can feel that too!
I’d love to hear from you! Write in the comments below: what is one thing that has helped you show up in your life?
Do you remember the first time you felt like something was unfair? Do you remember the moment someone abused you so badly that you lost trust in people? In moments of weakness, tragedy, or grief, we, as human beings, have a tendency to store these emotionally charged experiences in the form of self limiting beliefs. These beliefs are meant to “protect” us, and our conscious carries it out without even knowing it.
Cause of Self Limiting Beliefs
In my personal experience and with talking to others, I’ve found that limiting self beliefs are caused by fear. We fear what we don’t understand or can’t control, and therefore we subconsciously create beliefs about ourselves, people, or situations.
Especially in childhood and adolescence, we were susceptible to the beliefs our parents taught us. We soaked up their values, and observed how they treated relationships, finances, spirituality, and work. We created our own beliefs and subconsciously found evidence to support those beliefs, which were based off of either fear of love (sometimes a combo of both).
Some of these beliefs look like, “I’ll always be poor” (fear of success) or “There’s not enough for everyone so I need to take what I can get” (fear of others/the world) or “Relationships always have to be hard and full of fighting” (fear of being controlled). We observe our parents and the people around us, and soon, we have formed many beliefs. Some beliefs are positive and truthful, but beliefs that are negative and false become self limiting beliefs.
For example, if someone was abused by others, they might subconsciously create the belief that they’ll always be abused by people. They then consciously distrust people and subconsciously hang around people who turn out to be narcissistic or abusive.
These limiting beliefs can stump our progress and our happiness. They can also prevent you from reaching your goals. It’s difficult to have healthy beliefs about money, success, your body, your mind, or just about anything in this life.
The How
In my own journey of overcoming self limiting beliefs, I’ve used 3 simple steps: recognize, find the source, and create. It’s so easy to feel overwhelmed by the false, untrue beliefs we have, but I encourage you to come from a place of love in overcoming your limiting beliefs.
In Hawaii, we talk about having aloha, which is more than just “hello” and “goodbye.” Aloha teaches us to love God, others, and ourselves. I encourage you to read these steps with aloha for yourself. The limiting self beliefs were created from fear, so come from a place of love in overcoming them.
Step 1: Recognize
The first step to overcoming limiting beliefs is to recognize. Recognizing helps us look at things with both eyes wide open. We can see areas of our life we’ve lacked and the fears that hold us back from doing things that would bring more joy.
I don’t think I can list all of the different kinds of limiting beliefs here, but a really great way to recognize the limiting belief is to put it in the form of a sentence.
For example, “I will always feel really sad after feeling happy.” This was one of my self limiting beliefs for the longest time. I never felt like I could have true joy because I’d suffer after. In my experiences, it seemed like each time I experienced a spiritual high, inspiration, or moment of motivation, it was followed by the equal amount of grief and sadness, as though I had failed. I started fearing happiness because of what followed after it.
Sometimes you can find common themes of your limiting beliefs. For example, you might notice a common thread in your relationships, such as not wanting to get close to others, fear of being hurt, and/or anxiety around certain people or groups. These relationship issues can go along the theme of distrust.
Another example is the theme of feeling broken. You might notice that you don’t feel like anyone could ever fully love you because of the trauma you’ve gone through, and/or that you have too many problems, and/or you won’t ever function like a “normal” person.
These are just some examples to get you started, and, as I said before, there are SO many limiting self beliefs that it would be impossible for me to write them all down. However, I want to help you get a head start so I’ve listed some of the most common themes of self limiting beliefs. As you read through the themes, evaluate how you approach the theme.
Ask yourself: Does this theme bring up negative feelings of fear, discouragement, anxiety, or even depression? Some words might resonate strongly and positively with you because you have healthy beliefs on that theme. Give yourself credit for these joyful, truthful beliefs.
For the themes that have negative energy or a negative reaction, write them down to explore in the next step.
Themes:
Abandonment
Abuse
Awkward
Balance
Betrayed
Broken
Change
Confidence
Deceived
Deserving
Education
Enough
Failure
Family
Fear
Finances
Helpless
Hopeless
Lonely
“I will always feel______”
Negative
Neglect
Overwhelmed
Passion
Relationship
Safety
Scarcity
Stuck
Talent
Time
Trust
Unfulfilled
Unworthy
Weak
Find the Source
The next thing is to find the source of this belief. Our subconscious mind creates these ideas as a means of protection, but these beliefs hold us back from truly succeeding, feeling happiness, and experiencing satisfaction from our accomplishments.
From the previous example, my experience with feeling sad after feeling happy comes with a heavy history of trauma, neglect, stress, and abuse. For example, if I felt happy about something or successfully accomplished a task, it never felt like people acknowledged my hard work. I usually felt brushed aside by others. I also experienced abuse at home which made me feel worse about myself. The happiness and satisfaction from my hard work quickly diminished. It seemed to me that I was better off bracing myself for sadness after feeling happy—even the slightest amount of happiness.
This limiting self belief carried onto my marriage. I prepared myself for an equal amount of sadness as the happiness after our wedding day, but it never came. In fact, my life improved and got better. It left me dumbfounded, wondering, HOW? It was then I recognized I had a self limiting belief. I changed my perspective, realizing that I DESERVE happiness and, to be totally honest, I COULD still be happy, despite my trials. I also accepted that sometimes things don’t work out the way we want after we experience joy. Life is just like a roller coaster, and it’s OK if things don’t always work out.
In your life, you might have experienced trauma or even just emotionally taxing situations. If you can look back and find the source of you self limiting belief, it makes it so much easier to get rid of them.
Sometimes, with mental illnesses like depression and anxiety, the science of the body affects how we feel about ourselves. Specifically with depression, the self limiting beliefs go along the themes of brokenness, hopelessness, and unworthiness. As you acknowledge that the mental illness is the source of the limiting belief, it makes it much easier to overcome.
Create new, empowering beliefs and consciously live them
Creation is one of my favorite things. I love that we can create opportunities from obstacles. When I discovered my limiting self belief, I knew I had to replace it with a new belief. I couldn’t keep mentally bracing myself for grief after feeling joy. So the best way to replace the self limiting belief is to create a new belief, which is kind of like an affirmation. Here is how my affirmation went:
I can choose to be happy no matter what the circumstances. Sometimes bad things will happen, but I won’t let that stop me from being happy or enjoying myself and my life.”
Even more important than creating the affirmation is to actually live by that affirmation. Whenever you feel yourself acting out of fear by the old beliefs, consciously state the new belief/affirmation in your head and then live by it.
This is one of the most fulfilling ways to live. When you come from a place of love and state your new, truthful beliefs, you then become free. You don’t have to live your life by old scripts or by old hurts. This is when you truly become your best self.
I encourage you with all the aloha in my heart to find those limiting self beliefs and come from a place of love in recognizing them, finding the source, and creating new, truthful beliefs.
What limiting self beliefs have you overcome? I’d love to know! Comment in the section below! 🙂
Here are some common scenarios that cause overwhelm and burnout around this time of year: Back to school. Half of 2019 is already gone. Finances might be a little tight. And… there’s still SO much left to do!
If you have a mental illness, the feelings of overwhelm and burnout can come on especially quick with these changes and transitions in the schedule. Even if you don’t have a mental illness, transitions, change, and unexpected challenges can lead to tons of stress and overwhelm.
When I did my student teaching, I remember the feelings of stress associated with being a teacher. You just never know what to expect when you walk into a classroom—both the teachers and students. Whether you’re in high school, in college, are a teacher, or a 9-5 worker, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed by the amount of things you have to do. And now that August is here and we’re more than halfway through the year, you might look at your 2019 goals and think, I haven’t done anything!!!
First off, take a deep breath and know that it’s OK. To help put things into perspective, here are some helpful tips to avoid overwhelm and burnout—because they’re both VERY real problems. Overwhelm/burnout can lead to total mental, physical, and emotional exhaustion. It can cause depression and even suicidal thoughts. So… to stay sane and happy, here are a couple of tips to help you avoid overwhelm and burnout.
Stop. Breathe.
With all the commotion of our everyday lives, when was the last time you stopped and took a deep breath? When was the last time you did a really good stretch? Cuddled with your spouse? Closed your eyes for a couple of minutes? Soaked in a tub? Took a nap? Or took a nice long drink of water?
We can get so absorbed in our lives, phones, our work, that we forget the things that matter most. Stillness can help us get out of the floating headspace and re-ground our bodies and minds.
Take a moment to get out in nature and smell the fresh air. Listen to a meditation podcast. Snuggle with your loved one. Remember the most important things in your life and breathe it all in.
What’s on your mind?
One SUPER helpful thing to try is writing lists. This may sound so basic but it really works! Some people call it a brain dump. All you have to do is write a list of the things on your mind. You can then number them, with #1 being the most important thing to do or get done.
Overwhelm and burnout usually comes on because we spend so much time storing information in our brain… when, really, an easier way to let that all go is simply writing it down.
I’m literally baffled by people who don’t use planners. “HOW do you stay organized?” I wonder. Or how can they possibly remember all the things they need to do? My solution to the brain chaos is having a planner and organizing my life.
I imagine mental notes as things in a room. The more stuff you hold onto, the stuffier the room gets. By writing down your thoughts and mental notes, it’s like letting go of all the clutter in the brain “room” so you can focus on the things that matter most. Whatever you have to write on, do it and let all those thoughts free!
What are the most important things?
Like the first tip, overwhelm and burnout are usually caused by fixing our view on things less important. Sometimes we might even procrastinate the things that bring us the greatest joy (here’s one of my favorite TED talks about this). Whether you “plan” on one day budgeting, on improving a relationship with a loved one, working out, or whatever else that brings joy and meaning into life, today is the best day to start. Everytime I want to procrastinate something that will bring me satisfaction and joy, I think of this:
It doesn’t matter that we’re more than halfway through the year, or if you’ve already “failed” your New Years Resolution. What matters is that you try. Better late than never. Choose to let this be the last day of your procrastinating the most important things in life.
Prioritize. Plan. Pray.
The 3 P’s can really improve your life. Similar to brain dumping, just write out all the things you have to do and then prioritize. Prioritize the things that matter most in your life and what goals you want to accomplish, and then make plans to do them! Finally, pray for help from God. I’m a firm believer that if you pray for something and follow through with it to show you’re putting forth your effort, then the good things will happen. I also believe that if it’s not the right path for you, God will let you know. He can also help you feel comfort in times of huge stress. I’ve found that when I pray, I receive impressions of things I need to stop worrying about—because, in the long run, they’re usually things that won’t matter at all.
To be totally honest, I sometimes get overwhelmed with dishes and household chores. They just feel like extra things to do on top of my usual duties of blogging, writing, and my day job. My husband helps me with stuff, but I’m kind of OCD so everything has to be clean—no dishes in the sink before I leave for work, no crumbs on the floors, etc… To help me avoid overwhelm when it comes to the “busy” stuff, I’ve learned to clean as I go.
While you’re cooking, clean up the dishes you used to cook, and then after you’re done eating you have WAY less dishes to wash! When you finish the loads of laundry and have a big basket of clothes waiting to be folded, set a time to do it—I like to take breaks between my blogging/writing and I just do it then. The more you plan ahead and set time for things, the easier it will all be for you in the long run!
Take advantage of your mornings
It seems that every person I’ve met has admitted that mornings are the most productive time of their day. I find this is the same for me. I have a morning routine where I get plenty of things done and enjoy it too! Morning routines can be joyful, exciting, and just set the right mood for your day. If you don’t have a morning routine, I encourage you to try one and stick to it—you might even surprise yourself with how much you enjoy it!
I hope these tips help with the overwhelm and burnout you experience. Remember that you still have time—you always have time—to improve and reach your goals. By slowing down, recognizing the things that matter most in your life, and breathing, you’ll be surprised by how much more you get done! And how fulfilled you will feel.
E komo mai! 🌺 I am the author of Aloha State of Mind, a self help book that teaches you how to create paradise wherever you are. My blog, Naturally Aloha, focuses on all things Hawaii: culture, values, food, lifestyle, and more. I hope my writing inspires you to carry aloha with you everywhere! Learn more…
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