The Hawaiian word ‘ohana means family. The word is familiar to most people but seemed to be made popular by Disney’s “Lilo & Stitch,” where the characters quote, “‘Ohana means family. Family means no one gets left behind.”
This is indeed true of families, but there is a deeper meaning to the word and spirit of ‘ohana. It’s more than just inclusion or not being forgotten. It’s about fostering loving and lasting relationships with those of our blood-relatives, as well as our brothers and sisters in the human family.
The Polynesian culture deeply values ‘ohana, and family ties are more important than anything else—more important than money, than fame, than material things. A brother would sacrifice anything for a brother, a parent for a child, a sister for a sister… Family ties are so important.
Generations before are also deeply important. We find our sense of place by knowing who our ancestors were, and what they sacrificed for us.
So how do we implement the value of ‘ohana into our lives? What if we come from broken families, or if we’ve never felt the ties to loved ones?
Queen Lili’uokalani’s ‘Ohana
Those who have studied the life of Hawaii’s last monarch, Queen Lili’uokalani know that she was a hanai, adopted, daughter to Abner Paki and Laura Konia. In her own bibliography, the queen notes how this was the common practice of ancient Hawaii.
It was a custom that the firstborn in the family went to one of the parent’s siblings. This may seem odd to western culture, and the queen acknowledges this.
Why would anyone give their firstborn to a sibling to raise? we wonder.
It was the concept of ‘ohana… that we are all connected, and sharing families helps avoid pilikia, trouble or offense. It requires trust and confidence in your family to give your firstborn to a sibling.
If it was so important to the ancient Hawaiians to give their firstborn children to another for care, what does that mean for us today?
‘Ohana connects us, no matter what
Certainly, none of us are expected to give our firstborn children to a sibling!
But what if, instead of giving up a firstborn child, we give more love and friendship to our families?
If we granted them a little more trust or, at least, the benefit of the doubt, would that change the dynamic?
Would things change if we loved and had confidence in our families enough to support them? What if we forgave them willingly and openly?
The spirit of ‘ohana is that we are deeply connected: by our heritage, our shared blood, and our family ties. We came to this earth at this time, together, and we can be together even after this life.
The spirit of ‘ohana is that we support our blood ‘ohana as well as those not related to us. After all, we are all God’s children so every person we pass is a brother and sister. So we do well to one another, love one another, and care for one another—physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.
How else can we live the spirit of ‘ohana?
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Reach out to ‘ohana
It seems to me that most families are not very open with one another. As the world advances in technology and resources, people grow further and further apart.
Take the time to reach out to your family members. Let them know you’re there. Even if you don’t agree on things, such as religion, politics, finances, etc do what you can to preserve the relationship. You’ll find that deep relationships, where differences are discussed in a mature and meaningful way, can last forever. And you might find that you have more in common than you realized.
Seek understanding
We all come from families of every shape and size, and it’s important to seek understanding in each interaction. Families mold the way we see the world, and it’s important to understand, for yourself and others, how families have shaped us. Most times we seek understanding by being better listeners. Read more about how to do that here:
Some of us come from families where abuse, in all its degrading forms, was common in the home. Have the courage to recognize the abuse, then make a decision to break the cycle. Many cycles of abuse are generational, meaning they pass from one generation to another.
It’s usually caused by the beliefs of ‘ohana members past, and their beliefs do not need to be yours. Notice your thoughts and feelings towards other and your family, and make the commitment to break any cycles that have repeated itself in your family.
For those coming from broken families
One of the hardest things for me in moving to the mainland was the constant stereotype that Polynesian families are strong and close. Most Polynesian families have strong ties and healthy relationships, but not all.
When my parents got divorced, I felt estranged from my dad and his family. I felt disenchanted by my grandparents, who had played such little roles in my life. So when people on the mainland assumed that, because I was Hawaiian, my family was strongly knit together, it hurt.
No family is perfect, but I did crave the strong bonds I saw in other families. It made my heart happy to see siblings that cheered one another on, and parents who genuinely listened and supported their kids.
Take heart 💙
So if you come from a broken family, take heart. You can still value ‘ohana and keep the spirit of it in your life.
The spirit of ‘ohana is that every person is a part of the family, and every person has something they can contribute.
I believe that God compensates for the things we lack. For example, I never really had a strong emotional bond with either of my parents. Their way of coping with things was to stuff it down. Later in life, I met amazing women who were mother figures in my life. I never quite had a father figure, so I turned to God for that, because he is the father of our spirits, and he is perfect. Take hope, knowing that God compensates for the lack in your life.
There is hope for a better ‘ohana for everyone in this world. My hope came when I got married, knowing that I was starting my own ‘ohana. My hope came in knowing that I’m the one breaking the cycle of abuse so that generations after me will always have reason to hope.
So hold onto that hope, no matter what your ‘ohana looks like right now. And remember, you are a part of one big ‘ohana too!
With joy and aloha,
Leialoha
P.S. If you’re new here, check out my free mini course, 5 Hawaiian Days to Wellness, complete with Hawaiian values, challenges, and encouragement!
Mālama is the Hawaiian word “to care for and protect.” You’ll commonly hear the word mālama associated with the phrase, “Mālama ka ‘aina,” meaning to take care of the land.
Hawaiians, to this day, love, preserve, and protect the land. It is the source of our living. If we take care of it, it will take care of us.
The word mālama can be used in other ways too. If you’re in Hawaii and are saying goodbye to someone, they might tell you, “Mālama pono” meaning to “watch out” or “be careful.”
Another common phrase is “Mālama Honua” which means to take care of the earth. When we protect the planet, we keep it well for future generations.
Mālama can also mean tending to others. Those who live the value of mālama have a bigger perspective. They see that every person suffers from something and needs nurturing and love. These attributes may come naturally to some of us, but, for others, these are skills that take time and practice to develop.
When we mālama, see the needs of others, the world, and ourselves, and we respond responsibly.
Like many of the other Hawaiian values, we can implement the value of mālama in our lives through service, protecting, and nurturing. An interesting thing about mālama is that when we care for others, we actually provide healing for ourselves too.
It’s an interesting paradox, but makes sense. After all, Christ said that “…whosoever will save his life shall lose it: but whosoever will lose his life for my sake, the same shall save it” (Luke 9:24).
When we actively seek opportunities to care for others, we find ourselves, as well as purpose and meaning in our lives.
Here are other ways to live the value of mālama.
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Mālama is Selfless Service
When I was about 16 years old, I remember being hungry a lot because we lived in poverty. For many nights, mom put random things together for dinner. She stretched out the budget by making things homemade, and we usually ate every last crumb of our meals.
We were faithful church members and made friendships with a lot of people there. One of the friendships was with full filipino aunty Fabi, who just married full Mexican Uncle Al. They invited us to their house and whenever they did, there was guaranteed to be a lot of food.
Uncle Al made delicious, authentic Mexican food, and Aunty Fabi made mouth-watering, authentic Filipino food. Both were expert cooks.
“You eat like birds,” Uncle Al teased when our stomachs filled up fast at his house. There were five of us, but we barely made a dent to the tray of enchiladas. Our stomachs were small.
Uncle Al and Aunt Fabi exemplified mālama to me. They served and cared for us, when our own parents couldn’t do that for us: Emotionally, Uncle Al would crack jokes to make us laugh; Physically, they both fed us; and mentally, they genuinely asked about our school activities and whereabouts.
Mālama gives all… there’s no holding back.
One day, my older sister complained there was no food in the house. She was the most vocal of the siblings, brave enough to argue back with dad. I think God sent angels to help us because several hours later, Uncle Al showed up with a huge tray of enchiladas.
Mālama. Care. Tend. Protect. Preserve. Uncle Al and Aunt Fabi probably had no idea what a difference they made… they were just doing their best to care for others. When we live with an attitude of mālama, we can spread aloha in so many ways… ways that we didn’t even know were possible.
Honor yourself and others
Mālama means to take care of yourself too. If you don’t take care of your emotional, physical, and spiritual needs, it is difficult to serve others. Honor your personal dignity by trying self care activities and refueling your spirit.
You honor others when you seek self improvement and try to become your best self.
Mālama ka ‘aina
Take care of the land. As I said earlier, when you take care of the land, it takes care of you. In the Hawaiian saying, “Nana i ke kumu” we learn to look to the land as a source of knowledge, inspiration, and physical nourishment.
When we care for and respect the land and its creatures, it does the same for us. It teaches us valuable life lessons and provides peace.
I have learned many things from observing God’s creations, especially the sea turtles in Hilo. During a trying time in my life, I sat at the beach every morning, watching the sea turtles swim in from the ocean. Their gracious presence, wise eyes, and kind spirits taught me a lot of life lessons.
From interacting with and caring for God’s creations, I felt nurtured and refreshed in return.
If you want to support wildlife conservation efforts, I highly encourage you to check out Fahlo. When you buy a bracelet from Fahlo, you support a wildlife conservation cause (depending on which animal bracelet you get!) and then receive your very own animal to track! I absolutely love my turtle bracelets, which reminds me to malama the earth. 🙂
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Mālama inspires us to protect the innocent
There are a lot of terrible things going on in the world today, whether we want to turn a blind eye to it or not: human trafficking, racism, abortion, abuse, poverty, starvation, etc.
We can’t do everything for everyone, but we can support causes we feel passionately about, whether that’s through raising awareness, educating ourselves, or volunteering time, money, or resources.
When we protect the innocent, we honor the value of human life. We live a pono life, restoring balance in the world.
Watch this video to learn more about why we should fight against abortion: 2,363
Also please consider donating to help end child trafficking: O.U.R.
Mālama is loving aloha
Mālama is an inspiring Hawaiian value that, when practiced, can bring a lot of joy. I’m sure Uncle Al and Aunt Fabi found joy in serving our family. Their food, made with love, brought us joy too.
Can you imagine what the world would be like if we all cared for one another a little more? If we served a little more? It doesn’t even have to be huge. Even just having a lighthearted conversation with a cashier, a smile to a stranger, or a quiet service to a family member can foster the value of mālama in our homes and lives.
When we learn to mālama, we invite the constant flow of aloha, love, into our lives, thereby creating paradise right where we are.
With aloha,
Leialoha
If you want to bring more aloha into your home, check out my free ebook: Bringing Aloha Home
It’s your turn!
If you have any other ideas on how to implement the value of mālama, let me know in the comments below! 🙂
Ha’aha’a is the Hawaiian word for “humility or humble.” When we live the value of ha’aha’a, we learn to come from a place of love, understanding that things won’t always work out or be perfect. And that’s OK.
The attitude of ha’aha’a is being meek, unpretentious, and modest.
Those who live ha’aha’a sincerely rejoice in the goodness and success of others and themselves.
They don’t raise themselves above others on any basis, whether that be wealth, class, race, ethnicity, etc.
It’s difficult to live the value of ha’aha’a, as we live in a society that tells us we deserve everything we see in ads and marketing, or when we compare ourselves to the “perfect” lives we see on social media.
However, when we choose to live the value of ha’aha’a, we become a magnet of goodness. We emit the love and compassion of Christ. People are drawn to us because they feel and know the sincerity of our hearts.
People can trust us, because those who live ha’aha’a withhold judgment, and, instead, show forth love and understanding.
They come from a place of aloha, love, instead of fear.
The opposite of ha’aha’a
It might be easier to understand how to live the value of ha’aha’a by explaining its opposite.
Ever since I was a preteen, I felt the strain of want. I wanted nice clothes, not the hand-me-downs from my sister, I wanted to have beautiful hair, nice shoes, but mostly just new, stylish clothes. We were terribly poor by the time we moved to Hawaii, so I could never get what I wanted.
Every now and then my mom would take us to Old Navy for some new clothes, but we’d get the least-expensive, most basic shirts and a few pairs of shorts that could last me a couple of years. I always felt so out of style, envious of the girls who had nice clothes and dresses.
When I got to college and worked some jobs, I got a couple of new clothes. And I had a realization… something we all hear but never realize until it hits us in the face.
Money can’t buy happiness.
Ha’aha’a is being happy where you are, and happy for others… at the same time
I got new clothes, but I still wasn’t happy. I still wanted more. But I couldn’t afford more.
It was then I realized that being happy doesn’t come from owning more things. Happiness comes from a humble heart. It comes from just being happy for others.
No, I couldn’t afford all the nice things and I’ve certainly never been the most stylish person.
But I can just be happy where I’m at. Ha’aha’a. Humility.
We can envy things that other people have, focusing on their abundance and our lack… or we can focus on what we do have.
For me, I had a lot of skills, kindness, and the ability to work hard. And that was enough.
Ha’aha’a is being grateful for what we do have, instead of looking at the lack. It goes hand in hand with mahalo.
How else can we implement the value of ha’aha’a?
Ha’aha’a is being willing to learn
A person who is humble is also willing to learn from others. As with the value of ‘ike loa, a person who lives ha’aha’a is childlike. They’re full of wonder, willing to learn and gain knowledge.
They listen when others speak, and feel when it’s appropriate to speak themselves. They love to contribute, even if they don’t always know what to do. They’re just willing to help.
Ha’aha’ looks for the good
A person living ha’aha’a looks for the good in others. They don’t boast of their own accomplishments, but genuinely compliment and bring out the best in others.
Ha’aha’a thirsts after knowledge
The humble person studies diligently, knowing that there’s always something more they can learn. They ponder topics that interest them, and seek God’s help for inspiration and further learning.
Becoming humble isn’t an easy task. It requires so much concentration, and truly listening to our own thoughts. When we recognize that sometimes we judge or criticize others, or claim that we can “do it better,” we’re taking away the opportunity to serve and rejoice with others.
Let us become a more humble people. As we do so, more unity (lokahi), and joy will come into our lives and communities.
With aloha and joy,
Leialoha
Let’s hear from you!
In the comments below, I’d love to hear how you implement the value of ha’aha’a!
If you’d like to learn more about the Hawaiian values and how to apply them into your life, check out my 5 Hawaiian Days to Wellness mini course. It’s free and gets straight to your inbox! 🙂
Kuleana is the Hawaiian word meaning “responsibility.” Kuleana encourages to be accountable for all that we do. It is the “ability to respond” to whatever is happening.
Those who live the value of kuleana know that their happiness is dependent on what happens inside of them, not outside. They choose how they react to circumstances, not let the circumstances determine how they feel.
When we live with kuleana, we do our part to take care of ourselves, our communities, and the environment.
Kuleana means we all have a responsibility
I went to a high school summer program called Na Pua No’eau, and learned how to sail the wa’a, the Hawaiian canoe. The theme of this program was “He Kuleana Ko Kakou,” meaning that “We all have a responsibility.”
They taught us how we have a responsibility to become our best selves—in order to better society—to develop our creative abilities, to preserve our heritage and culture, and to take care of the earth.
Each day our group leaders reminded us of the theme, and it’s stuck with me ever since. Every person has something to contribute for the betterment of society, for taking care of the earth, and even for preserving heritage.
When we look at our kuleana in the facets of our life, we might see that there’s a lot of work to be done.
Kuleana is a strength
Some people think that self help/improvement is for the weak… when, truly, it is for everyone. We ALL can improve. It is our kuleana. Some people think that since somebody else is doing the business, creative project, volunteer work, or service they like, there’s not enough room for them. But there is an abundance of resources and audiences for everyone. We EACH have a contribution to make to this world. Kuleana is recognizing that it’s truly up to YOU whether you succeed or not. Kuleana is taking responsibility to improve ourselves so we can reach our goals and live up to our divine potential.
Here are some of the responsibilities we have:
We have a kuleana to God, through being pono and right. We take accountability and exercise faith by relying on his son, Jesus Christ.
We have a kuleana to others, through service, supporting important causes, and protecting the innocent.
We have a kuleana to ourselves, by becoming our best selves, improving, and giving ourselves credit.
We have a kuleana to take care of the earth.Malama ka ‘aina is one of Hawaii’s most used Hawaiian phrases. If we don’t take care of it, who will?
Does kuleana feel overwhelming? It might, for some. For those who are seeking daily improvement, however, this may feel familiar.
We ALL have the gift of agency, meaning that we can all create what we want from this life. But it’s our kuleana to use our agency for good.
What are some ways you can implement the value of kuleana in your life? Here are some suggestions.
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Kuleana helps us control what we can
I’m writing this article from my home as COVID-19 sweeps through the nation. It’s scared so many people, and left us feeling uncertain and scared. It’s made me feel pretty out of control… I miss my freedom of doing what I want when I want.
But this is where kuleana comes in. I have the ability to respond. And I choose to respond with optimism.
I’ve used this time to create new content and write my book.
Control what you can control, which is YOU, and let the rest go. That is the essence of kuleana.
Be accountable
Sometimes, in life, we just need someone to talk to and remind us of who we are and what we truly want. I find I take more responsibility for myself when I tell someone the things I’m doing.
My husband listens when I share insights, or process things that happened. When we talk to people and share our thoughts and aspirations, we become accountable.
We don’t go talking to just anyone though… find someone who you trust. If you struggle with trust, take it to God. In the end, we will all be accountable to him anyways.
Be kind to yourself
I used to get upset at myself when I couldn’t get everything done on my list. Kuleana is all about looking at the big picture, figuring out the most important things, and then taking responsibility to get the most important things done.
Too many people spend their lives being “busy,” but not really completing the most important things they wanted to do: spending time with family, serving more, creating something, etc.
Be kind to yourself when you fall short, but be willing to change and improve to do the things that matter most.
He kuleana ko kakou. We all have a responsibility. I hope you’ll take advantage of knowing that you are a part of the bigger picture. You matter. And you have the ability to respond in order to make your life better and happier!
With aloha and joy,
Leialoha
Let’s hear from you!
What is your kuleana in life? Share your thoughts in the comments below!
Ho’oponopono is the Hawaiian practice of “making things right or well.”
Ancient Hawaiians have done this practice for centuries. When two people or groups have a disagreement or hūhū, hard feelings, they would meet together for a session of ho’oponopono. It has been adapted in several different ways, including sending positive energy to others and one’s self.
“Ho’o” means – to do or be
“ponopono” means – to make right or correct, also to make tidy and neat, balanced
Therefore, ho’oponopono is the art of mending, of healing, of making things clean between, and restoring balance. There are many ways people do ho’oponopono. I’ve been in a ho’oponopono session with a facilitator who asks questions and gets everyone’s opinion, like a mediation session.
I’ve also learned ho’oponopono that you can do on your own, by sending out aloha into the world, and especially towards those who have hurt you.
Ho’oponopono comes from the word pono, which means righteousness and balance. The difference between the two is that pono is a personal character trait that can be developed, whereas ho’oponopono is an action of making things right with oneself or others.
Personal Practice of Ho’oponopono
You can do a personal practice of ho’oponopono by first finding quiet to do this exercise. In your mind, think of the person who you feel resent towards or have pilikia, troubles, with. Then, either verbally or mentally, say these lines:
Hello _____ (insert name here).
Then you would say these words:
I love you.
I’m sorry.
Please forgive me.
Thank you.
Ho’oponopono forgives others, thereby freeing yourself from the anger and hurt that comes from holding onto pain.
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A visual of ho’oponopono: the orchid plants
Growing up in Hawaii, my parents thought they would try their hand in raising Tahitian vanilla orchid beans. People paid a lot of money for vanilla bean, and the Tahitian plant had an especially delightful taste.
They ordered some plants, which came in abundance. We lived in a rental on the Big Island at the time, so my parents got a bunch of thick, black planting containers, which we filled up with potting bark and small rocks, and we placed them in the back yard.
We had at least 20 pots, filled to the brim, with pieces of bamboo sticking out to support the green orchid vines.
Needless to say, after months of watering, re-soiling, and weeding, the plants withered away. The conditions weren’t right, and the little red fire ants, which infested the island at the time, took over. They swarmed on the plants like people in a busy airport.
But my parents kept hoping the plants would somehow revive.
We kept taking the orchid plants with us
We moved 3-4 times, because we were so poor, and those pots came with us everywhere. I hated carrying those pots because 1) they were heavy and I could barely get my arms around them and 2) they had tiny red fire ants that bit you, and when you got bit, the pain seared the whole area, lasting for days.
My parents divorced in 2013, and I returned in 2016 to clean out the family home to sell. When I saw those pots, I cringed (maybe a lot). Why had we carried those pots around for so long?
The orchids were long gone. The bamboo sticks looked like sad broken pieces, weathered by time and the sun.
I got to work emptying those containers and stacking them in a tall pile. Carrying around those containers, filled to the brim with rocks and potting bark, had never served us. We should have thrown them away years ago, when the original orchid plants died.
I’ve reflected on this experience often, and compare it with ho’oponopono.
False beliefs and burdens don’t serve us
In life, things happen: we experience abuse, pain, betrayal, death of a loved one, etc. We carry the heavy feelings from these experiences with us, everywhere we go. They affect our daily life and our reaction to experiences.
Most times these burdens were placed on us from others: our parents, a boyfriend/girlfriend, spouse, family member, coworkers, etc. but sometimes these feelings come from ourselves.
We regret a decision, feel worthless, or just totally down about something that already happened.
Like those orchid containers my family and I carried everywhere, we should ask ourselves this question:
Why do we still carry these emotional loads?
Sometimes the loads feel too heavy, and we lay on the ground, totally exhausted from the pain of it all. Or the metaphorical fire ants sting us and certain parts of our lives sear in pain for a day or two.
With all of the pain these burdens cause us, there is no logical reason to keep carrying them. The load doesn’t serve us. It doesn’t even do what it’s supposed to do.
Ho’oponopono helps us get rid of these loads. It teaches us to forgive others and forgive ourselves. We all make mistakes. We all fall short. But we don’t need to hold onto the pain forever.
What are some loads you can take off now? What are the beliefs and burdens that aren’t serving you? I invite you to try the personal practice of ho’oponopono to free yourself of the emotional weight caused by some of life’s challenging experiences.
And, of course, if you’re struggling with this, ask God for help. He is so willing to help and show you the way. His son, Jesus Christ, always waits with open arms to help you find the peace and forgiveness you need.
It’s never too late to turn a new leaf.
With aloha,
Leialoha
Let’s hear from you!
How will you implement the practice of ho’oponopono in your life? Let us know in the comments!
A true alaka’i leads by example, living the very principles they teach. There are many alaka’i in this world: parents, teachers, coaches, government leaders, employers, and the list could go on.
The role of an alaka’i is special and deeply important.
The world needs more alaka’i. If we break down the Hawaiian word into two parts, we find an even deeper meaning to the word.
“Ala” means – to rise up or come forward
“ka’i” means – to lead, direct, lift up and carry
Therefore, when we put the whole word together, we get the sense that a true alaka’i rises to the occasion. They come forward to lead, lift, and carry others.
An alaka’i looks only to serve others and become their best self in the process.
An alaka’i is a constant teacher
I’ve taught piano lessons off and on for years. I finally got a job as a piano teacher at a local music school, where we were trained a specific piano teaching method. When I first started teaching the method, I had so many questions.
I felt like the students had gaps in their learning and it was a disservice for me to teach this specific method.
When our trainer traveled to the music school to check up on us, the rest of the piano teachers and I bombarded him with questions. Finally, he paused us and asked this question that stuck with me:
“What is the purpose?”
What did he mean “what is the purpose?” We were doing our best and it was their method that was failing.
But then it hit me. What was my purpose in teaching these kids piano? The teachers had been taught us multiple things with the method, but we still had the freedom of teaching to our students’ needs.
So what was the purpose? I wanted my students to love learning and playing the piano. I wanted them to enjoy the process and recognize that making mistakes is all a part of it.
From then on, I made sure that each activity I did with my students was purposeful, that it would truly help them enjoy learning and motivate them to keep learning.
That changed everything for me.
An alaka’i is full of purpose.
They don’t do things for attention, glory, or popularity. They do things to serve. Their whole purpose is to lift others, not leave them hanging with ignorance or shame. They even carry others, when necessary, empathizing and giving grace in the difficult times of life.
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An alaka’i leads by example
Another thing I learned from teaching piano is to be the example.
I couldn’t expect my students to practice the piano if I didn’t practice. I also learned that if I played something sloppy or haphazardly, they would play—and act—that very way.
I wasn’t always a perfect piano teacher, but I tried my best, keeping my purpose in mind, and seeking to lift my students. I also continued to improve myself as a pianist. I played new and harder songs, and even sought lessons from another, more experienced pianist.
Being an alaka’i requires a lot of work, which is why not everyone choose to be a leader. And that’s ok too. We always need a combination of both. But I truly hope that one day, every person can step up to the plate in one way or form.
Whether you are an alaka’i in your family, church, community, or world, I hope you can always seek to serve, to lift, and to carry. A true alaka’i also tries to become their best self, so let us, as alaka’i, strive to do that as well.
With joy + aloha,
Leialoha
Are you an alaka’i?
Let me know in the comments below what you’ve done to be a strong leader!
If you’d like to learn more about the Hawaiian values, check out my 5 Hawaiian Days to Wellness mini course–and it’s totally FREE!
However, laulima gives us the visual insight into the life of ancient Hawaii. It reminds us that universal values are timeless–the community and goodness within it is not lost.
While the ancient Hawaiians built unity, we, too, can build unity in our own communities.
Laulima and Ancient Hawaiian Communities
In ancient Hawaii, people lived in little communities. The communities survived and thrived off the contribution of each member, from the fishers, to the weavers, and farmers. Most of the people lived in ahapua’a, which followed a river that exited into the sea. The fishers traded with the farmers upstream, and the way of life was so well-organized that the ancient Hawaiians had more time for leisure activities like hula dancing and tapa-cloth making.
A tradition of laulima that started much later on the islands is the hukilau, where members of the community cast a giant net into the sea. The net required everyone to pull it in.
“Two, three, huki!” the community chanted in unison.
When the net finally dragged onto the shore, the leaders divided the fish amongst the families.
It brought a sense of community. It reminded us that “we are all in this together.”
Thinking about ancient Hawaiian communities makes me wonder how we can foster this sense of community in our own cities, churches, neighborhoods, and even our workplaces.
The funny thing is… I’m writing this article during the COVID-19 pandemic. We are all separated in our homes, and can’t go out unless we absolutely need to.
But there is a sense of community in the fact that the whole world is going through this together.
Here’s the key to laulima: When we share experiences, we grow stronger together.
People are stepping up from all over the world to sew masks, donate goods, and support essential workers. Acts of kindness are being done all over the world. For once, we are putting aside our differences to put our hands together (metaphorically, of course) for good.
How can we keep this spirit of laulima alive, even after the pandemic is over?
Or have you ever gone to an amazing camp, retreat, or conference where you felt unified with others? How can we keep that spirit even after those moments where we felt united?
How did the ancient Hawaiians keep the spirit of laulima, even when they didn’t hold a hukilau?
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We share experiences.
Every life is different, but we all still experience grief, sorrow, and pain. We experience regret, guilt, and resent. We also experience peace, happiness, and joy.
In one way or another, we can all connect and relate to one another.
We can share our stories. When we share in the emotions and feelings of others, we become a little closer, a little more united.
Even if we don’t agree with someone on a political, financial, or religious view, we can still be a part of the community. We can still be civil and loving, even amidst our differences. This is the value of aloha.
Just as we put our hands together to solve a common problem (the pandemic), we can do it again.
We can fight hunger, corrupt systems, poverty, abortion, racism, and so many other terrible things happening in the world.
Share joyful experiences too
Not all experiences need be sad to foster laulima!
My dad abused us, and my parent’s divorce took painfully long. My siblings and I went through the wringer (mentally, emotionally, physically) because of it.
Here’s the thing though…
We share in the difficulties of our experiences, but we also CREATE new experiences–joyful ones!
People get jealous because of the fun events my siblings and I plan, which create new, joyful memories for us together. For example, one year I put together a Harry Potter party and my siblings fully stepped up to the occasion, even dressing up for it! For Thanksgiving or Chinese New Year, we all put our hands together to bring food and celebrate.
When we create these meaningful experiences, we create joyful memories. We foster the spirit of lokahi and laulima.
The world needs the spirit of laulima more than ever before. What are some ways you can live the value of laulima in your life? In your family, community, church, school, and so forth?
What will you do to foster laulima in your circle?
Let’s hear from you! Let us know in the comments below!
Nānā i ke kumu is the Hawaiian saying that translates to “look to the source.” It encourages us to look to our ancestors, to nature, and to God for guidance, help, and love.
“Nānā” means – to look, observe, to pay attention to
“ke kumu” means – teacher, beginning, source, or origin
Therefore, nana i ke kumu reminds us to find, look, and pay attention to the source, origin, and beginning.
What “Nānā i ke kumu” means to me
Growing up in Hawaii, whenever I heard this saying, it reminded me to always remember God. He gives us life, love, and light.
As I look to him, I can find happiness and purpose in being here.
I understand that his plan is greater than my own. As I learn to trust and look to him, I have no reason to fear.
However, I would be incorrect if I said that this saying only directs us to God.
I’ve met many Hawaiians and locals who translate this saying into following their ancestors or exploring nature.
I think these are also wonderful ways to find guidance and peace.
So how does this saying help you? Why should you “Nānā i ke kumu?”
Obviously we don’t learn something from reading it alone. By applying what you learn from this, you can find guidance, peace, and belonging.
If you’re struggling to find your path right now, feel discouraged, or just need a motivation boost, looking to the source can help you.
I’m actually writing this as the world turns its head to the “Black Lives Matter” movement. Riots, looting, and violence broke out in the streets, interrupting peaceful protests and dishonoring the innocent lives of those who were unjustly killed.
As I watched everything unfold, my head whirled a thousand times.
The confusion and anger rose within me. Then I paused, took a deep breath, and came right back to this: Look to the source.
It kept me grounded.
When the world is in turmoil, and when wars and disasters occur, what do you do? How do you find peace?
People panicked, were outraged, or shocked. They didn’t know what to do.
And that included myself! But I went back to this saying and gained CLARITY. I realized this: When we look back to our ancestors, to God, and to nature, we see what really matters.
I spent time praying, taking quiet time outside in nature, and reflecting on my ancestors’ experiences.
And I discovered this. At the heart of all that’s going on, this is what matters:
We create our own stories.
Even when we look back at our ancestors and their stories, we honor them by creating our lives. If their actions aren’t what we’d be proud of, then we should do something that THEY can look up to US for.
As I pondered on my ancestors’ experiences, especially the cultural trauma that the Hawaiian people suffered, I felt a connection with the black people suffering now.
We should be grateful for the hardships our ancestors went through, as they inspire US to get through our own and take advantage of the opportunities they didn’t have. As I said before: WE create our OWN stories.
I wouldn’t have gained that clarity without looking to God and trusting in him, reflecting on the lives of my own ancestors, or taking quiet time out in nature.
So if YOU are seeking answers to some of life’s difficult questions, look to the source–THIS is why it matters.
Clarity, guidance, and peace are available to us when we focus on the source.
Here are some ideas to implement this saying, Nānā i ke kumu, into your life.
Look to your ancestors
When we look back at those who came before us, it helps give us a sense of place.
Finding our “sense of place” is a commonly used phrase in Hawaii, maybe because so many people feel out of place, including myself at some points in life.
With multiple opinions of politics, a diversity of cultures, and conflicting views about tourism and the economy, people can easily feel out of place in Hawaii–or anywhere you might live!
Even those who grew up in Hawaii—and are as every bit Hawaiian in a cultural sense—but aren’t of Hawaiian descent can feel out of place.
(Side story: I went to a private school for Hawaiians, and could only imagine the struggle of those with blonde hair and blue eyes, who didn’t “look” Hawaiian, but were every bit Hawaiian–maybe more than myself!)
So how can we look to our ancestors to find our sense of place?
Having Hawaiian ancestry doesn’t automatically give us a sense of place. After all, Hawaiians are a tiny minority of the human population.
Actually, we need to understand that this saying doesn’t just apply to Hawaiian ancestry. It applies to everyone! We can ask simple questions about our ancestors, and when we learn more about them, we learn more about ourselves.
What did our ancestors like? What did they sacrifice? Where did they come from? Why did they make the decisions they made? What cultural traditions did they uphold? Which religion did they practice? Why? Did they have notable strengths? Or weaknesses?
When we learn these little details about our ancestors, it’s like a flame within us grows.
We come to see how their stories influence our own. It gives us a sense of belonging, of ‘ohana.
We desire to be better, because they were better.
We celebrate our heritage, our culture, our ethnicity.
When we come across their struggles and losses, we mourn with them.
And then we rejoice in their successes. If they could do it, we can too!
Nana i ke kumu encourages us to look back in order to look forward.
We admire our ancestors for getting us to where we are today. We feel closer to them and let their lives inspire our own.
Many Hawaiians and locals feel connected to nature. When I moved around and traveled to big cities, I finally understood why people LOVE visiting Hawaii. It’s literally a fresh breath of air!
Cities and communities can feel cramped and claustrophobic.
But when you go to the islands, the sun greets you with its warm rays, the tradewinds blow a gentle breeze through the palm trees, and the crystal blue water laps on the shore with grace.
It’s breathtaking.
It’s also humbling. When was the last time you took a hike in the mountains and breathed the fresh air? Or took a stroll down the street in the sunlight?
When you go out in nature, do you feel the quiet, the peace, and the respect?
It’s been said that nature, in all its forms, does not rebel against God. Every plant, animal, rock, and coral submits to the will of God, so when you are around them, you feel peace. They aren’t trying to force their own ideas and agendas on God, as we humans often do.
They celebrate, praise, and worship God by fulfilling the measure of their creation.
As humans, we can feel this quiet serenity in nature. Let it humble us, remind us to be grateful, and teach us valuable life lessons.
Whenever I go out into nature, I feel SO grateful to be alive. I actually FEEL more alive! The same feelings can happen for you, but it’s up to YOU to get out in nature first.
If you want to learn a little more about the song of nature, check out the works of Ralph Waldo Emerson, as well as Walt Whitman. They were the great transcendentalists who appreciated the peace of nature. Their poetry beautifully illustrates the solace of nature.
Even better than reading their poetry, however, is to go out to experience nature yourself. Nana i ke kumu. Find tranquility by listening to the sounds and breathing the fresh air of nature.
Look to God
When we look to God as the source, we learn that his ways are better than ours. His plans are more grand and joyful than we ever imagined. He is the source of knowledge, truth, and light.
When we look to him, we change things in our lives to align with his will. We become more humble, submissive, and childlike. More aloha flows into our lives.
If we focus on him, we recognize who we truly are: his sons and daughters.
We are royalty.
When our self worth and confidence increases, our ability to spread light and love increases too.
Soon, our path is laid before us. It isn’t always easy, but looking to the source, the beginning, the origin of our lives, helps give us perspective.
This life isn’t forever, but with God’s help, we can truly make the most of it.
Nana i ke kumu
Look to the source. Remember your ancestors for strength and sense of place. Find peace and gratitude in nature. Look to God for direction and purpose. When we nana i ke kumu, we discover our sense of place.
We begin to create paradise wherever we are.
What will you do to look to the source? I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments below!
With aloha and joy,
Leialoha
Your turn! How do you look to the source?
Let me know in the comments! I’d love to hear your thoughts!
Lōkahi is the Hawaiian word meaning unity, oneness, harmony, and agreement.
Lōkahi tells us that YES, it is possible to be united and to have healthy relationships. Even when we don’t agree with one another or come from different cultures, races, and religions, we can BE ONE.
Lō – means to obtain
Kahi – is the shortened version of ‘ekahi, which is the number one
By breaking down the word, we learn that lōkahi means to obtain oneness, unity, and harmony. How can we do this when every person is so different?
How can we obtain this oneness in some of our most important life relationships, like with our spouse or children?
Lōkahi teaches us that we need people
I can explain lokahi best by sharing a part of my story. My family lived in poverty for most of my teenage and young adult life. My parents suffered through a messy divorce, and, as they worked through it, they remained absent most of the time—physically, emotionally, and mentally.
Because of this, my siblings and I turned to one another. It was up to us to take care of ourselves—meaning, providing the food, paying the bills, and even creating a better life and future for us.
I got a job and my older brother took care of the tedious house chores (feeding the dogs, the sheep, fixing broken things, etc). I made most of the food, and I’d help outdoors as well.
During one of these dark months, fly strike attacked our sheep. We had to chase the sheep down to take care of the infections. We didn’t always know what we were doing, but we had each other to figure it out.
Those dark times taught me so much about how we need people. As an independent person, I grew up fending for myself, but, this time, I knew I needed my siblings.
And they needed me.
Like ‘ohana and laulima, we’re all in this together.
I have fond memories of making jokes, laughing, and, after my parents’ divorce, feeling a sense of freedom together.
My siblings and I are all so different, yet we created a way to contribute and help one another. This is lōkahi.
It’s knowing that we are all a piece of the puzzle.
When hardships arise, as they always will, we hold onto one another–we unite, we stand strong together.
We are all needed.
Just because we don’t always see eye to eye doesn’t mean that we can’t show compassion and love.
We CAN work together to come up with solutions, fight the enemy of pride, and put aside our differences to see this truth:
WE ARE ALL CHILDREN OF GOD, and we ALL have a contribution to make.
With the diversity in today’s world, we need lokahi more than ever.
Here are some ways to become one with others on your life journey.
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Lōkahi withholds judgment
How often do we judge others because they choose a different lifestyle than us?
How often do we judge others for choosing a certain political party, handling their money differently, or worshipping at a particular church?
We ALL make our own choices. And, we all have weaknesses, beliefs, and perspectives that motivate us to do what we do.
When we give people grace and withhold judgment, we give them the opportunity to BE THEMSELVES and, more inspiring, to sometimes BE BETTER.
In an amazing way, we, ourselves, change as we SEE them as God sees them: loved and worthy.
Now, I bet you didn’t think of this… But most times we judge people because of something going on within ourselves, or because we learned behaviors from parents or society.
Before we point fingers and blame others, what is going on INSIDE OF US?
We’ve all gone through unfair, unnecessary, and unjust experiences. So when someone does something different than us, we may get triggered with annoyance or prejudice because of our own experiences and perspectives.
The more we recognize the judgement we place on others, the more we’re able to clear the quiet resent and prejudice within ourselves.
We’ll soon find that it’s easier to get along and become one, lōkahi, when we show compassion, grace, and kindness… no matter the choices that others make.
Honor Others
As I’m writing this, a tragic event has happened: an innocent man named George Floyd was violently and unnecessarily murdered by a white police officer. In a hurt and angry response (as people should be hurt and angry about this), people have broken out in riots and looting.
My heart weeps because this is NOT lokahi OR pono (right).
Violence, in any form, is unacceptable and evil. “Honoring” someone through violence is also unacceptable and evil.
I’ve shared a video below of Yahosh Bonner. I love this talk because even though this man’s ancestors were slaves, he looks to them for strength. He honors them by the way he lives. Yahosh recognizes their sacrifices and lives his life to make them proud, not ashamed.
My favorite part? He takes advantage of the opportunities they didn’t have.
I’ve been deeply saddened (as most of have been) by the violence and aggression–we are MUCH better than this.
I’m not Black, but I can understand the minority experience.
I can understand what it feels like to be oppressed, and to know that oppression went as far back as my ancestors. I know what it feels like to live in poverty, where it seems like everyone else has the upper hand, and I’m stuck on the bottom.
But we can CHOOSE our story, because we CREATE our story.
I chose to get myself out of poverty–even working three jobs at one point and using up loads of time to apply and receive scholarships. I networked with people who had influence in the college campuses, and I chose mentors to support me. I created my story for myself, honoring my ancestors and working hard for the opportunities that they didn’t have.
We honor those before us by living our lives the best we can, focusing on Christ, and serving others along the way.
If we want to create unity, we draw strength from the goodness of our ancestors, those around us, God, and even ourselves.
This man exemplifies this so well. Oh and his singing is a bonus. 😉
Listen more
One of the Hawaiian values is “pa’a ka waha,” meaning to close the mouth. We all talk too much. We all deeply want to share our stories and opinions, but have you ever just listened to someone… truly, sincerely listened?
I’ve said this many times–so many times that I sound like a broken record! But people rarely mean the words they say. Of course there are exceptions, like if someone says they need to use the restroom or they want something to eat.
But, in most cases, there is always a deeper meaning behind the words.
For example, when an overweight friend says, in a joking manner, that they’re “too chubby,” they’re probably saying something else. Of course, context is important in all of this. But truly listen. Why did they say that? Are they accepting of their weight—or is this something they feel insecure about, so they’re joking about it?
How do they view themselves? When they look in the mirror everyday, can all they see are the words “fat,” “chubby,” “obese” written all over themselves? Is that all they can focus on?
How can I help through listening?
When you truly, sincerely listen, you begin to realize that everybody hurts. You recognize that the things we say are sometimes programmed into our subconscious. Listening helps us know how to respond to others and recognize their programs and beliefs–and, sometimes, our own!
In this example with the overweight friend, when you listen and seek understanding, the understanding WILL come.
Perhaps you feel prompted to address the weight issue—maybe your friend has deeply wanted the opportunity to vent about it. Or maybe you feel prompted to talk genuinely about the good qualities of this person because they’re so fixed on their weaknesses and insecurities.
We all have our own realities, where we see the world differently. Our life experiences color our vision differently than someone else.
When we listen, we add more color to our own vision, helping us to see the reality of others. This, in turn, helps us better respond to other peoples’ needs.
Lōkahi is all about becoming one, and we can’t become one if we don’t listen.
Show compassion + kindness always
Aloha teaches us to JUST LOVE. When you make a decision ahead of time, it’s easier to know what to do when pushed against the flame.
I made a decision, early on, that I’d always show compassion and kindness, even when I don’t agree with people’s choices.
It makes my life so much easier. If we are to live lōkahi, we must learn to give all the basic respect and honor every human deserves.
I’ve been in grocery lines or restaurants when a customer freaks out at an employee. When I see the issue, I’m appalled! Sometimes we allow our ego to get to us, and we blow things out of proportion. I’m sure you’ve seen this too.
We interact with people almost everyday of our lives, so why not make a decision to live more lōkahi? If we’re stuck with people the rest of our lives, why are we not doing something to improve their lives and our own?
Questions to consider in order to live more lōkahi
Make a decision now. Ask yourself, how would I like my relationships with others to be?
I’ve written questions to help you think about the relationships in your life:
Would you like your interactions with people to be pleasant, memorable, or uplifting?
If someone talked about you, without you knowing, what would you want them to say?
Does your spouse really trust you? If not, how can you help them trust you %100?What do you need to change?
If your child has a problem, would they come to you for help? Would they feel ashamed or embarrassed to ask? How can you change that?
Is there a problem in the world that deeply troubles you? What will you do about it?
Do you blame problems on others, or do you first ask, as the apostles of old did: “Is it I?”
Visualize your life in living in unity. Really see it.
Whether you want a better relationship with a spouse, sibling, neighbors, or yourself, truly ask yourself what you need to do.
If you’re still not sure what you need to do or change to have more unity, pray and ask God. He will let you know.
I hope you’ll be able to create more unity in all your relationships, even those from different backgrounds, religions, and places.
As we seek lōkahi in our lives, they become more beautiful, brighter, and happier. We feel at peace with all those we meet, and the world becomes better for it.
With peace and aloha,
Leialoha
Let’s hear from you!
How will you implement the value of lokahi in your life? Was there a time you felt united with others? What can you do to create more experiences like that? Let me know in the comments below!
E komo mai! 🌺 I am the author of Aloha State of Mind, a self help book that teaches you how to create paradise wherever you are. My blog, Naturally Aloha, focuses on all things Hawaii: culture, values, food, lifestyle, and more. I hope my writing inspires you to carry aloha with you everywhere! Learn more…
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