Negativity is a fact of life because we all experience negative thoughts at one point or another. It’s ok to have them, but if you continue to feed them they can turn into more serious problems like depression or anxiety. If you already have a mental illness then you know that negativity is the common plight—it’s as if it never seems to go away. I’ve found that doing a negativity detox really helped me overcome my depression and to this day it makes my life more enjoyable and satisfying. 

When I choose positivity and remove the negativity, I reach my goals quicker because I’m more motivated, excited, and happy. I am more creative and I have more capacity to share light and serve others. 

To do a negativity detox, I’ve outlined the simple steps here. To be completely honest, these “simple” steps are MUCH easier said than done. They might take time and practice, but with the intention to change, I know you can do it. I also invite you to come from a place of love. We are often too hard on ourselves, criticizing our every move. Instead of demeaning yourself for mistakes or weaknesses, come from a place of love in recognizing that there is always room for improvement and change. So read on to learn how to do a thorough negativity detox and invite the light and aloha back into your life! 

Get grounded 

Often we are in our own little headspace, so wrapped up in what’s going on up there that we can’t even focus on what’s really going on in reality. This usually occurs when we feel like we made a mistake, don’t look good, or have a personal weakness that’s hard to overcome. 

First of all, you look great. 🙂 Secondly, we all make mistakes and we all have weaknesses—it’s just a fact of life. However, the problem comes when we start replaying our flaws over and over in our heads. We analyze our every move, our every intention… 

It’s OK to evaluate yourself and seek to improve but it’s not ok to bash on yourself for it. Definitely make things right if you hurt someone, but from what I’m guessing, you’re like me and bash on yourself for the littlest things: “Did I say the right thing?” “Why did I wear that?” “I looked so stupid…” 

The negative self talk can go on and on—I know it because I’ve been there! When you start getting trapped in the headspace, put both feet on the ground, take a deep breath, and then STOP. Consciously stop the negative thoughts right in their tracks. 

Continue taking deep breaths. Allow the negative energy to leave your body and replace them with positive, affirmative sentences like, “You did your best out there” or “You look great” or “I learned a valuable lesson.” 

Say whatever you need to get the positive energy back. Too often we take the magnifying glass and zoom up on our flaws and weaknesses. Let’s get grounded by taking conscious hold of the magnifying glass and viewing the good things we do. 

Align with your purpose 

Negativity loves it when we lack purpose. I remember, as a new piano teacher at a local music school, I learned a piano teaching method totally out of my comfort zone. My first few weeks of teaching were difficult. I felt unprepared and didn’t understand the WHY behind some of the piano methods and activities. 

When our trainer came to town, we, the piano teachers, loaded him with questions about the curriculum and how it could possibly work. He finally paused us and asked, “Whenever you teach something to your students, ask yourself: ‘What is the purpose?’” 

That made me think a lot. Because I didn’t know the purpose–the WHY– behind some of the class activities, it brought negativity in the feelings of uncertainty, insecurity, and discouragement. This also applies to our life. If we just go about everyday, not knowing what our purpose is, then how can we be happy? How can we feel meaningful and satisfied? 

I’ve gotten into the habit of frequently asking myself, “How can I fulfill the measure of my creation?” I know that God created me for a reason, and that I have an influence to change the world… but I don’t always know how, so I listen to impressions I receive and follow through with them. I intentionally try to align with my purpose everyday. 

I do things that feel right and will influence me in the long term. For me, these things include service, creativity, writing, exercising, and learning. Of course there are things that need to get done like laundry and dishes, but those also help me align with my purpose by providing a clean, organized space for me to create. The mundane tasks also help me to stay disciplined with time. As you align with your purpose, you feel the WHY behind your life and give reason to the things you do. This removes negativity as you finally hit your “feel good” spot, the point where you’re doing what you were created to do. 

Collect + Create good energy 

There is too much negative energy in the world. Hatred, anger, grudges, guilt… those are all negative feelings. Of course you can turn to Christ for repentance, but we can also learn to avoid the negativity in the first place. 

I invite you to evaluate things in your life that bring bad energy. One very clear example of bad energy comes in the form of gossiping. Since I was a little girl, I hated gossip—hate is a very strong word, but I just absolutely loathed it, and I still do. Living in Hawaii, I could hear family gossiping in the kitchen about other family members.

They snickered and mocked appearances, living conditions, and lifestyle choices. I naturally distrusted them for this very reason. Growing up I avoided gossip at all costs. When friends or acquaintances started gossiping, I’d say something positive about the person they talked about and then change the subject. 

The energy always changed when I changed the subject. It went from this dark, low, sickly form of energy to positive, empowering energy. There’s an old Cherokee story I heard a while ago that goes like this: 

“A fight is going on inside me,” An old Cherokee man said to his grandson.

“It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil – he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.” 

He continued, “The other is good – he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you – and inside every other person, too.”

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf will win?”

The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”

I don’t think this needs much explanation—it beautifully illustrates exactly how I feel about creating and collecting good energy. I hope you have the wisdom to consciously choose wisely. 

Have an attitude of gratitude 

The scriptures frequently say to “pray always without ceasing,” and that seems like an exhausting thought. However, I’ve found that praying without ceasing can mean just having a prayer of gratitude in my heart. In my actions and thoughts, I can express tender appreciation for the many little things he’s given me. 

If you need to, write lists of things you’re grateful for. Or, in your personal prayers, just do a full prayer of gratitude. You’ll be surprised at how an attitude of gratitude can help you rise above the negativity. 

Surround yourself with good things 

I am a fan of beautiful things like nature, poetic writing, and peaceful music. I also love being involved in good activities like service to my spouse, family, neighbors, church, community, and my online community (you!). When you surround yourself with positive, wholesome, uplifting people and activities, you become that. Make time to surround yourself with the wonderful and good things in life. 

Watch your thoughts 

Like the story about the Cherokee man and his grandson, we can choose our thoughts. Obviously we aren’t immune to things we just happen to experience, like seeing pornography on social media or surviving the abuse from someone else, but we can choose how we react to our experiences. Do you feed the things you’ve seen or experienced? Or do you to choose to let them go and continue forward? 

Reliving past hurts can cause negativity too. It can truly stop your growth. I know too many people paralyzed by the pain of a breakup, a divorce, or a perceived failure. These life experiences hurt terribly, but don’t let that be your life story. Learn to rise above the negative thoughts and see things for what they really are. If you feel negatively towards someone, try sending good energy their way. Forgiveness is truly a gift from God. 

Seek spirituality 

I’ve found that my hope and happiness stem from my faith in Jesus Christ. Knowing who he is, learning about him, and constantly striving to follow his example has brought me the greatest satisfaction in life. If I intentionally seek spirituality, my life is so much better. 

Having a morning routine of couple and personal prayer, scripture study, and exercise really gets me into the right mindset for the day. I feel empowered knowing that God loves and approves of me. I know the same can happen for you! 

Find balance 

Sometimes we become negative by doing too much or too little of something. For example, if we exercise too little, we can gain weight, causing lack of confidence… which leads to negativity towards ourselves. Another example is if we do too much of something—like scrolling through social media—then we become negative and even depressed anytime we can’t do it. 

Addictions also cause a huge imbalance for the body and mind. Addiction to drugs, alcohol, pornography, or other degrading and harmful habits can truly degrade the soul and cause darkness in our lives. Addictions cause blindness to the things that matter most in life… because all a person can feel is their desire to have more of the addiction. If you need help with an addiction, I encourage you to seek help. 

If your addiction is to something like social media, shopping, Netflix, or food, you can still seek help by getting an accountability buddy, someone who you can account to at the end of the day or week. 

By overcoming addictions and finding balance in our lives, we have more capacity to see things from a grander perspective. We see that in order to remove negativity, we need a healthy balance in our lives. 

In Conclusion 

I know that by following these steps you can bring the positivity and good energy back into your life. These strategies have blessed my life, especially in believing and knowing that we create our destiny. No matter the life circumstances, trauma, mental illness, or abuse, the negativity doesn’t have to last forever. We can create our future by grounding ourselves, having an attitude of gratitude, aligning with our purpose, collecting good energy, seeking spirituality, surrounding ourselves with beautiful and good things, and finding balance. 

I wish you love and light on your journey. If you want to join my little tribe of people seeking to improve themselves, be sure to hop onto my instagram @ladyleialoha! 

Sending all love + good vibes, 

Lei

P.S. If you want to do more for your wellness and positivity, I’ve created a free class to help you strengthen your character, improve relationships, and attain overall wellness! Click here to learn more! 

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