The Hawaiian word ho’omaluhia means to have peace or to be peaceful. Here is how to gain the peace you need right now.
This is one of my favorite Hawaiian words because the way it sounds is just as beautiful as the meaning. Ho’omaluhia encourages us to live in a way that, no matter what challenges come our way, we feel at peace. We feel a sense of calm. Personal preparation and confidence have helped us attain this peace and serenity in our lives.
“Ho’o” means – to do or to be
“Maluhia” means – peace, calm, tranquility, security, and safety.
Therefore ho’omaluhia is being secure—in ourselves, our beliefs, our relationships, and even sometimes our circumstances. Ho’omaluhia is feeling peace with who we are. We can feel safe with ourselves, no matter what storms of life come our way.
Learn ho’omaluhia from Hawaii’s many storms
While Hawaii is beautiful most of the time, it does have an occasional storm here or there.
Sometimes the most beautiful days turn into huge storms. Living in Hilo taught me to always carry an umbrella. Even if there was no cloud in sight, the day was bound to have some rainfall.
When I was a teenager, I remember a big typhoon coming our way.
It was going to be a really big one.
Since my family was poor, we lived in an unfinished house (no running water, no electricity–just a skeleton house), my brothers nailed up extra plyboards over the windows. It felt kind of silly, since the house wasn’t even done yet, but, like I said, this was going to be a huge typhoon, and we needed to be ready.
So we sealed up the house and camped inside. The typhoon came with some wind and rain, but it didn’t feel too different from any of Hilo’s other, more common (and sometimes more violent), rainstorms.
Personal preparedness brings peace of mind – the essence of ho’omaluhia
Even though the typhoon wasn’t as huge or dramatic as we expected, we still had a peace of mind knowing that the house was boarded up. Should any huge gusts of wind or rain press against the windows, they’d stay intact.
Like the boards we put up to protect ourselves from the elements, we can have peace in our lives by being prepared for challenges.
That’s not to say we’ll always know what’s ahead of us, but if we have a system in place to protect us, we can have peace even in the craziest storms of life.
For some, preparation comes in the form of setting personal boundaries with family members, friends, activities, and even one’s self. For others, preparation comes in the form of having a relationship with God, others, and one’s self.
How can we best prepare?
Ho’omaluhia is an attitude that helps us prepare for any situation. It’s knowing who we are and being ok with that, even accepting the hard stuff, in order to have peace. Ho’omaluhia is understanding that things aren’t perfect, but when we trust in God and know who we truly are, we’ll be ok.
Here are some of the key ways to implement ho’omaluhia in your life.
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Ho’omaluhia through Christ
The scriptures repeatedly tell us we can find peace in Christ. Why? Because he’s already triumphed over death and hell for us. We don’t have to struggle by ourselves, because he feels our pain, and he can comfort us.
No matter how low we feel, or how dark times may be, we can find light and love by turning to the Savior of the world. He provides the ultimate and lasting peace we need to survive and thrive in this life.
Reading scriptures helps me understand who he is. Praying to God helps me feel loved and worthy. These small acts can help us find peace in Christ. I really like this song about finding peace in Christ!
When we’re in the middle of a big drama or dark life experience, it may seem impossible to feel peace. But ho’omaluhia is all about action. Is there a place you just love and find peace in? Maybe it’s a warm, sandy beach, or a fresh spot in the mountains. Maybe you find peace when you’re in the comfort and coziness of your own home.
If you don’t have access to your favorite spot, try visualizing it and/or using YouTube videos to help. There are a lot of YouTube videos of scenic places with ambience.
In that special place that you feel peace and quiet, let your mind visualize the good in your life. Ask yourself:
What things are going well?
What’s not going so well?
What can I control?
What can I let go of?
Then take a moment to write your answers in a journal or notebook. Make notes of how you can better handle situations. Making decisions ahead of time helps us be better prepared to handle uncomfortable or painful circumstances with grace and aloha.
Set personal boundaries
Life hands us so many things to fill our time and distract us from what matters most: relationships, self improvement, learning, etc.
Setting personal boundaries helps us live ho’omaluhia. It helps us pre-determine where and what we will spend our time on. Instead of feeling anxious about upcoming circumstances, disappointed about things not getting done, etc, set boundaries on the things that cause stress, anxiety, and sadness.
For example, if spending too much time with certain people stresses you out, then maybe it’s time to consider your relationships. Which ones drain you? Which ones draw you away from the feelings of peace, ho’omaluhia?
Ask yourself this question with other areas of your life, like physical health, hobbies, social media usage, etc.
Setting boundaries frees you from things that draw away from ho’omaluhia.
Know who you are and be OK with it
Do you know who you are—who you really are? It’s easy to let the storms of life whirl us around when we don’t really know ourselves. The nice thing is, we don’t have to know ourselves perfectly in order to have peace. We just have to know who we are to God.
As sons and daughters of God, we have the power within us to choose. We can choose the good in our lives.
We are royalty. We were destined for greatness. When you look at who you are to God, it provides peace.
In a world that grows louder and louder, it can be difficult to find tranquility. However, with the Hawaiian value of ho’omaluhia, we can create the peace. When we are at peace with ourselves, we allow more aloha to flow into our lives.
We create paradise right where we are.
With joy and aloha,
Leialoha
Your turn!
How do you implement the value of ho’omaluhia in your life? Share your thoughts in the comments below!
“Pa’a ka waha” is the Hawaiian saying that literally translates to “close the mouth.” A lot of kupuna, adults, and teachers said this when I was growing up in the islands. It meant that you were talking too much, and you needed to listen.
Listening is a lost art form, but it doesn’t have to be, especially when we learn the simple technique of closing our mouths. Pa’a ka waha almost always guarantees a stronger relationship. People love to feel seen, validated, and recognized. When we listen with love, we provide the goodness and aloha that this world desperately needs.
Listen… because the more people you meet, the more aloha is shared
On average, a person might meet around 80,000 people in their lifetime. Of the many people you’ve met so far, can you think of any that have listened deeply to you? And I mean, truly, sincerely, genuinely, from the bottom of their hearts, listened to you?
I can count 5 people who listened like this… and their biggest secret, in my opinion, was that they kept their mouth closed. They sincerely sought to understand what I was saying, not just decipher the words. They wanted to know the true meaning behind the words.
Based on their understanding, they asked questions and continued to listen. Pa’a ka waha: No interruptions. Not even an autobiography of “something like that happened to me.” They listened with all sincerity of heart.
How often do we listen like this for others?
Pa’a ka waha encourages us to truly listen. Here are some ways we can learn to be better listeners.
Pa’a ka waha is staying present – in the moment
We’ve heard this probably a million times: keep present, be mindful, stay focused. Pa’a ka waha encourages this too! It’s hard to understand someone’s situation and feelings if we don’t focus on them, stay present, and remove the distractions of our phone, earbuds, tvs, and so forth.
When we stay in the moment, we begin to see others as God sees them, and their situations become clearer to us. Answers and resolutions don’t always come automatically, but just listening to others can help them heal, see things clearly, and even move on. Sometimes (most times) the very act of listening helps other people solve their own problems.
So let’s put down those phones, take out the pods, and make time to look others in the eye, listening with true intent.
Listen to how God speaks to you
God has a special way of speaking, through the Spirit, to each person on the earth. How does he speak to you? For most people, it’s a prompting, a warm feeling, or a quiet voice. When was the last time you felt or heard the Spirit?
When we learn how God speaks to us, it helps us know what questions to ask others. Because the truth is… God can inspire us to help others. He can whisper the very questions we need to ask, and when the moment is right. Sometimes people open their mouths too soon, and they ruin the conversation. But when we feel in alignment with God, knowing already how he speaks to us, we can facilitate a beautiful, open conversation of aloha and understanding.
Pa’a ka waha is listening to yourself
How often do we cut our own thoughts short by “being busy?” Meditation, pondering, or quiet time can really help when it comes to listening to ourselves. It’s like closing our mouths to ourselves allowing our mind and heart to listen to US. When we learn how to listen to ourself, we better learn how to serve and listen to others.
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Remove distractions
As I mentioned before, putting away distractions like our phones, tvs, etc can help us pa’a ka waha and listen much better. Another way to practice mindful listening is getting outside. Remove the distractions. Being in nature is one of the best ways to become a better listener. Listening to the sound of waves lapping on the sand, the swaying of palm trees in the breeze, or even the hum of a waterfall helps us quiet our minds and listen to our hearts. What is really going on in our hearts? Do we truly have the desire to do and be better—then how?
Ask for help to care
I know a lot of people who straight up just don’t care. I know it sounds awful to say this, but some people just don’t care to listen to others, preferring to talk only of themselves. They don’t care what other people are saying and only think of what themselves. We can give these people grace and make our own commitment to listen better.
Sometimes it’s difficult and sometimes uncomfortable to listen when you’re not used to it. Maybe you’ve always been the talker or the center of attention, where everyone listens to you…
But first give yourself credit for even acknowledging that you need improvement in the area of listening.
Secondly, ask for help to care and have aloha for others. Sometimes we just need to pray and ask God for help: help to see others as he does, help to care about their feelings, help to understand. There’s hope for everyone, so know that there’s no better time to start practicing listening and the art of pa’a ka waha than now.
Pa’a ka waha takes practice
Let others know that you’re trying to be a better listener, and be willing to take their advice when they offer it. Learning to close your mouth and listen isn’t easy, especially at first, but it’s totally worth it. You can do it.
Pa’a ka waha is a selfless act of love. It’s exercising true aloha by putting other peoples’ needs before your own. It’s so easy to forget that listening is an art, but when we master it, we bless our lives and others for good!
Pono is the Hawaiian word meaning to be righteous, balanced, good, correct, and moral. It encourages excellence, prosperity, and a sense of duty.
Pono may seem like an outdated idea to many, especially in the way it encourages moral and righteous behavior.
But in a world where religion is mocked and morality has all but disappeared, the value of pono has never been more important.
When we live the value of pono, we live a balanced life: with nature, God, ourselves, and others. Our life is filled with ho’omaluhia, peace, because our actions are in alignment with who God needs us to be. A sense of calm overcomes us because that alignment feels well with our na’au, our gut feelings.
Being pono means standing up for the right, even when unpopular or mocked. It’s not easy to stand for truth, especially when we’re alone. But the value of pono encourages us to do so.
Being pono means putting trust in God before man, knowing that righteousness will always have its reward.
How do we further implement the value of pono in our lives?
Learning Pono from Koa Trees
In the high mountains of Hawaii stand forests of beautiful koa trees. Koa trees were so important to ancient Hawaiians, as their sturdy and thick wood were perfect to make strong canoes.
The koa trees known for strength and resilience, hold ground against the elements. They live in difficult conditions, where the high elevation makes it cold, and the humid wind sends a chilly breeze through the forest. They take about 80 years to reach their full potential, but as they grow, they are ever strong.
I had the opportunity to plant koa trees when I joined a high school club. Our club did backbreaking work to plant koa trees in the forests of Mauna Loa. We held a huge pack of koa seedlings on our backs, and an o’o stick in the other hand.
Our instructor told us that most of these seedlings would not make it through the conditions of the environment. But many of them would.
I always thought about this. Pono is much like the strength of the koa trees. It isn’t easy to stand strong and tall against the elements. Likewise, it isn’t easy to stand firm when people question our beliefs and efforts to be moral.
Pono is based on our personal convictions to do good, and elevate all of the human ‘ohana
Planting the koa trees reminded me of my high school life. I was the girl who didn’t swear. I really wanted to be right with God, and since he commanded—as far back as the 10 commandments—that we not take the Lord’s name in vain, I made my decision not to swear. Ever.
I became known as the “goody-good” girl in high school, and classmates would question my decision. Nobody seemed to judge me for it. I felt so strongly about my convictions that my classmates didn’t blink an eye about it. They didn’t follow example–though an effort was always made to stop people from swearing around me. But they did recognize it as a part of a bigger duty and respect to God that I held in my heart. In fact, when we graduated, the valedictorian mentioned me in her talk, saying that if anyone felt lost and needed direction, they could turn to me.
It was shocking. And self-revealing. I don’t share this story to boast. I share this story because being pono is the right thing to do. Even when it’s not popular, when everyone else around us seems to do the opposite thing, when society and communities say that morality is out of style.
Choosing to be pono matters. When we make a conscious decision of how we’ll live pono, we dig our roots deep into the ground and stand strong and tall, just like the koa trees.
How else can we live pono?
Create a relationship with God
Being pono stems from having a relationship with God. If you don’t know who he is or what he commands, how can we be righteous? How can we be right with him?
You can start having a relationship with God right now: through prayer, reading his word, and attending his church. You don’t have to do anything special or make a dramatic life change to have a relationship with God, just start where you are.
Make a decision ahead of time
What kind of person do you want to be? What do you want to be remembered as? When you start with the end in mind, it’s much easier to live a pono life. If you can visualize the kind of person you want to be, how would that change and reshape the way you live now?
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Live Balanced
Living balanced seems like a hard concept to grasp, but it can be made simple. Here is an example I like to use to explain balance: when someone litters the earth, that action throws things off balanced–for nature and the earth. When someone picks and properly disposes of the litter, it restores balance.
The same principle applies to our relationships with God, others, and ourselves. When we have a pilikia (trouble) with someone else, the mana (energy, spiritual relationship) is thrown off balance. We restore the balance in the relationship through ho’oponopono (making things right, correction).
If we want to live the value of pono, we would be wise to take a moment to ask ourselves these questions:
Is my relationship with God balanced?
How is my relationship with others (or enter name here)? Am I doing too little or too much of something?
Is my relationship with myself balanced?
Sometimes we get into the habit of doing too much or too little of one thing–too much social life, too little connections, too much exercise, too little exercise, etc.
When we take the time to look at our life and ask, “Is my life pono–is it balanced?” we can feel what we should improve on. If we’re struggling to know what needs improvement, we can always ask God.
A pono life is a blessed life
The Hawaiian value of pono has deeply blessed my life. Even though I’ve sometimes stood alone in my beliefs and morals, I feel right with God. That’s one of the greatest blessings I could ever feel in this life. Being pono has helped me to feel right with God, and I know it can do the same for you as well. If you’d like to learn more about how to build your relationship with God, check out this wonderful source from my church!
However, laulima gives us the visual insight into the life of ancient Hawaii. It reminds us that universal values are timeless–the community and goodness within it is not lost.
While the ancient Hawaiians built unity, we, too, can build unity in our own communities.
Laulima and Ancient Hawaiian Communities
In ancient Hawaii, people lived in little communities. The communities survived and thrived off the contribution of each member, from the fishers, to the weavers, and farmers. Most of the people lived in ahapua’a, which followed a river that exited into the sea. The fishers traded with the farmers upstream, and the way of life was so well-organized that the ancient Hawaiians had more time for leisure activities like hula dancing and tapa-cloth making.
A tradition of laulima that started much later on the islands is the hukilau, where members of the community cast a giant net into the sea. The net required everyone to pull it in.
“Two, three, huki!” the community chanted in unison.
When the net finally dragged onto the shore, the leaders divided the fish amongst the families.
It brought a sense of community. It reminded us that “we are all in this together.”
Thinking about ancient Hawaiian communities makes me wonder how we can foster this sense of community in our own cities, churches, neighborhoods, and even our workplaces.
The funny thing is… I’m writing this article during the COVID-19 pandemic. We are all separated in our homes, and can’t go out unless we absolutely need to.
But there is a sense of community in the fact that the whole world is going through this together.
Here’s the key to laulima: When we share experiences, we grow stronger together.
People are stepping up from all over the world to sew masks, donate goods, and support essential workers. Acts of kindness are being done all over the world. For once, we are putting aside our differences to put our hands together (metaphorically, of course) for good.
How can we keep this spirit of laulima alive, even after the pandemic is over?
Or have you ever gone to an amazing camp, retreat, or conference where you felt unified with others? How can we keep that spirit even after those moments where we felt united?
How did the ancient Hawaiians keep the spirit of laulima, even when they didn’t hold a hukilau?
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We share experiences.
Every life is different, but we all still experience grief, sorrow, and pain. We experience regret, guilt, and resent. We also experience peace, happiness, and joy.
In one way or another, we can all connect and relate to one another.
We can share our stories. When we share in the emotions and feelings of others, we become a little closer, a little more united.
Even if we don’t agree with someone on a political, financial, or religious view, we can still be a part of the community. We can still be civil and loving, even amidst our differences. This is the value of aloha.
Just as we put our hands together to solve a common problem (the pandemic), we can do it again.
We can fight hunger, corrupt systems, poverty, abortion, racism, and so many other terrible things happening in the world.
Share joyful experiences too
Not all experiences need be sad to foster laulima!
My dad abused us, and my parent’s divorce took painfully long. My siblings and I went through the wringer (mentally, emotionally, physically) because of it.
Here’s the thing though…
We share in the difficulties of our experiences, but we also CREATE new experiences–joyful ones!
People get jealous because of the fun events my siblings and I plan, which create new, joyful memories for us together. For example, one year I put together a Harry Potter party and my siblings fully stepped up to the occasion, even dressing up for it! For Thanksgiving or Chinese New Year, we all put our hands together to bring food and celebrate.
When we create these meaningful experiences, we create joyful memories. We foster the spirit of lokahi and laulima.
The world needs the spirit of laulima more than ever before. What are some ways you can live the value of laulima in your life? In your family, community, church, school, and so forth?
What will you do to foster laulima in your circle?
Let’s hear from you! Let us know in the comments below!
‘Imi Ola means to seek life, encouraging us to search for the best we can do in our life’s journey.
‘Imi literally means – search, seek, look, even hunt
Ola means – life, health, wellbeing, living
‘Imi ola means that we search for the best life we can create.
Using our skills, knowledge, and talents, we create the lifestyle we desire and serve others. Service to others, after all, is the greatest act we can perform in this life.
Those who live ‘imi ola are constantly seeking improvement, as they want to be their best selves.
Truly, ‘imi ola is a principle of living the aloha lifestyle, because when we work towards our best selves, we bless our lives and those around us.
Pay attention to moments that change the world & our lives
Most people realize the importance of ‘imi ola when they experience a life-changing event, such as the birth of a child or marriage.
Sometimes life-changing events are negative, like a national or global calamity, abuse, etc.
Some, unfortunately, never have moving experiences. They don’t allow themselves to recognize these life-changing moments and ask questions to discover who they are and who they can become.
My life changed on September 11, 2001, when I was 9 years old. We had just moved to an air force base in Japan and were living in, what they called, “the towers.” Ironic, but the first night we arrived in the towers, I heard my mom call out in shock from the other room.
“The airplanes hit the buildings!” I rushed in to see, on the TV screen, an airplane go straight for the tower.
I had a sick feeling in my stomach, and when I went to bed that night, I could hardly sleep because it was all I could think about.
The next morning, my siblings and I sat in the living room watching TV, witnessing the horror of what had just happened.
I cried with each new story I heard and saw: of calls people made to say their last goodbyes, of firefighters blanketed in dust and debris, of people jumping out windows to end their lives, of the sounds of bodies falling on the roofs, of the towers finally collapsing…
It was terrifying. Heartbreaking. Life-changing.
After a while, I couldn’t handle it anymore and went into the room to cry. I was devastated. How could God let all these people die—people who were just living normal lives and who hadn’t done anything wrong?
How could this happen?
As I searched the scriptures, prayed, and pondered this question in the following weeks and years, the answer came to me: We live in a fallen world. Things like this happen. This is the lot of mortality.
It’s not that God is angry at us, or that he wants us to suffer, but he allows these things to happen so we can learn and continue to grow.
From then on, I began to strengthen the value of ‘imi ola in my life. I wanted to become my best self in order to best serve others and society as a whole.
I wanted to inspire, educate, and help people live their own best lives… so that when bad things happen—which they will—we all can be better prepared and at peace, knowing we’d all done our best in this life.
What was a moment that changed your life? Or changed the world?
I’m writing this article during the outbreak of coronavirus, a pandemic that has literally changed everything. Perhaps this is the moment that has changed your world and perspective.
What can we learn from these life-changing moments? How can you live your best life? How can you best contribute?
Here are some other ways to live ‘imi ola.
Create your purpose
I think we spend too much of our time trying to “discover” or “figure out” our purpose in life. Probably the most important thing we can do to follow our life purpose is to just start.
Start by creating… write something, draw something, try a new skill. When you go for it, you discover what you like, and, also important, what you don’t like.
Ask people what skills you have, support a cause you’re passionate about, and create who YOU want to be.
As you create purpose and do meaningful work (ho’ohana), you will successfully discover your life purpose and path.
If you want to become your best self, you should never stop learning. Listen to experiences of others, seek understanding, read good books, and study God’s word. As the old saying goes, “Knowledge is power.” The more you know, the greater your ability to seek life in it’s highest form and be your best self.
I think we sometimes put too much pressure on ourselves to read “adult” books, like self help books, finance books, educational books, etc. but we can learn so much from fiction and YA books too!
Give yourself the permission to expand your imagination and creativity through reading fiction books too. My fiction favorites are Eragon, the Chronicles of Narnia, and books written by authors like Shannon Hale and Gale Carson Levine. 😉
Here are some of my favorite self improvement books that have expanded my perspective. The following links are Amazon affiliate links, meaning that when you click through and purchase, I will receive a commission at no extra cost to you!
It’s difficult to trust people, but know that you can always trust God. He will direct you to know and understand your contribution.
Sometimes he will leave you in the dark, but know that it’s OK—that shows he trusts YOU enough to make your decisions.
We don’t know WHY things happen the way they do in life, especially when tragedies occur, but when we CHOOSE our story, we bring more purpose and joy into our lives.
Having been abused by my dad, I knew that I didn’t want that to be my story… And that is ‘imi ola: you climb from the bottom, literally starting where you are, to create the life you want and fulfill the mission that God has put you on the earth for.
Live ‘imi ola by trusting in his plan and his ways. Our challenges are part of the story, but not the WHOLE story.
Find and get help from a Mentor
If we want to learn and be better people, we need to reach up to those who are where we want to be. A trusted leader once told me that if you want to get to the top, you need to look up, not across.
It’s important to have supportive friends and family, but we need people who can guide us along the way.
A mentor helps you create a vision of where you can be. They know the path, because they’ve walked it themselves. Mentors can act as guides to helping you reach your destination.
I’m SO grateful for the mentors in my life–spiritual mentors, business mentors, author mentors, etc. These articles will go into depth about WHY you need a mentor and HOW to find a great one!
I hope that you can seek your best life by living ‘imi ola. I encourage you to take time to ponder those life changing moments and what you’ll do because of them. It’s never too late to start becoming your best you.
With joy and aloha,
Leialoha
Let’s hear from you!
How will you implement the value of ‘imi ola in your life? Let us know in the comments!
E komo mai! 🌺 I am the author of Aloha State of Mind, a self help book that teaches you how to create paradise wherever you are. My blog, Naturally Aloha, focuses on all things Hawaii: culture, values, food, lifestyle, and more. I hope my writing inspires you to carry aloha with you everywhere! Learn more…
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