Looking for some inspirational quotes for when you’re down? Whether you face winter blues, a creative lag, an episode of depression, or simply need something to give you a little boost, here are 5 inspirational quotes for you!
A wonderful aloha value that goes with this is ha’aha’a, humility. It’s so easy to get wrapped up in the things we’re doing. We sometimes place our value in what we create, complete, or succeed at… but we lose ourselves when we do that. Let’s not take ourselves too seriously, laugh at mistakes, enjoy life, and be grateful!
Sometimes sadness comes on because we have high expectations. When expectations aren’t met we face disappointment. This is a principle I’ve had to teach myself, because when I place expectations on others, myself, or certain situations, I get upset when things don’t go as planned. Instead of trying to force our agenda and will on things out of our control, let’s just appreciate the moment. Appreciate being present, being here.
We would never wish hardships or trials on others, and often times we wish we didn’t have to go through the challenges we’ve been given. But with an eternal perspective, we can see that challenges don’t define us, but they can refine us.
Values like ho’ohana, ho’omau, and ‘ike loa, teach us to be happy where we are. We don’t have to wait for the perfect circumstances or even start in the same place as others. We can create paradise where we are, as my debut novel, “Aloha State of Mind,” talks about!
Sometimes we get into bad moods because we aren’t actively seeking something. Are we looking to have more peace, more hope, or joy? What will we do to get there? With the value of ‘ike loa, we can “see much.” And with the value of imi ‘ola, we can seek the highest and best in life, helping us find answers to our questions and needs.
Prayer is also a beautiful way to “seek” and find, as this quote comes from a popular scripture. When we connect with God, we can feel loved and worthy. ❤︎
Your turn
What are your favorite inspirational quotes for when you’re down?
Trauma. It happens to all of us. Though it may come in different shapes and sizes, its effects can linger long past the event itself. Abuse, accident, death, grief, and mental illness are a few of the big examples of trauma, but even other things like slamming the brakes, being yelled at, or a consistent, negative event can cause trauma.
I grew up in Hawaii, but that didn’t mean my life was perfect. Hawaii is where most of my trauma occurred, from dealing with a narcissistic, abusive family member and poverty to building houses as an adolescent and surviving periods of hunger. My body and mind changed a lot from these events, and I initially used creativity and numbness as ways to survive the after-effects of the trauma. Years later, I’ve found better ways to overcome and heal.
While our initial reactions to trauma vary, all of us eventually find ways to cope with the after effects of trauma, from exercising to therapy and much more. When we choose healthy ways to cope and deal with our trauma, cumulatively, they will help us heal. That is the hopeful thing: though it may take time to heal from trauma, every effort we put into our healing can help us feel better, more confident, and develop methods that work specifically for us. We can each learn valuable lessons from trauma that helps us move forward with grace and aloha.
I don’t have all the answers, but from my own personal journey, I’ve discovered some ways to heal and ho’omau, endure and keep moving forward, despite the hard things I’ve gone through.
This article explores 8 methods that have worked for me in recovering from trauma. But it doesn’t even being to explore all the ways we can overcome it. In fact, entire books have been dedicated to the very topic of trauma, so this article barely skims the surface. Healing comes in different ways, so the ideas that have worked for me not might work for you. And that’s absolutely ok! 🙂
Heal with Aloha
However, if there’s one thing I want my readers to get out of this is that healing from trauma, abuse, or other tragic events should always be done with aloha.
I frequently talk about coming “from a place of love.” We should always give ourselves the same aloha that we so willingly offer others. This aloha includes honoring and respecting our bodies, minds, time, and space. In whatever trauma recovery method you participate in, make sure it comes from a place of aloha. Ask yourself if it’s what you truly need and want, and if it honors you and your unique way of healing.
The following list covers ideas that I hope will help you on your healing journey but please come from a place of love as you choose which to implement (or not). 💙
Trauma recovery obligatory disclosure
I am not a medical or mental health professional. I’m just sharing what has worked for me, soplease do any of these exercises or activities at your discretion and know that I won’t be held liable if anything bad happens. I hate putting this part in my articles but I have to, so there it is. Ok, let’s continue!
Overcome the numbness
Trauma creates this feeling of numbness. For me that numbness lasted a few months. It was the only way I could survive at the time, so please don’t judge yourself if you “can’t feel anything.” This is your body’s natural reaction to an unnatural event. The body is overloaded with emotions, and doesn’t know what to do except numb. Some people even make this numbing worse by resorting to drugs and/or alcohol. But we shouldn’t try to further the numbness.
The key is to awaken from the numbness. As much as we don’t want to feel the pain of all the emotions, we should let our bodies process through. Some people do this by talking with others through therapy or even with a trusted family member or friend. I process through my emotions by exercising, journaling, and spending quiet time alone. Recently I’ve joined a TRE class and that has worked phenomenally for me too. As humans we want to avoid pain as much as possible, which is why we numb. But when we become numb, we are keeping our bodies and minds from healing. Staying present and feeling through the pain is one of the greatest things we can do to work through trauma.
There is beauty in pain, and as difficult as that concept seems, I can see so clearly how my trauma has molded me into who I am today. We’ve all heard that our challenges don’t define us, but they can refine us. This is exactly the case with the feelings of numbness. Recognize numbness as a natural reaction then allow ourselves to feel the emotions. When we allow ourselves to feel, we help ourselves process and move forward on our healing journey.
Do what brings joy
Stop doing stuff you don’t want to do. It’s simpler than it sounds because it requires us to truly listen to ourselves. Pa’a ka wahais the Hawaiian value meaning to “close the mouth.” And that could include the chatter in our heads. Take time to be still, listen to God, listen to you, and truly ask yourself: What brings me joy? And continue forward in that direction.
For me, creating, writing, and a clean, quiet space bring me joy. I don’t like to be in crowded places (it’s quite overstimulating) or with people I feel obligated to hang out with. So I’m making efforts to stop doing those things I don’t really want to do. We can all do better at this, as our natural tendency is to want to help, serve, and, sometimes, even please others.
But coming from a place of love, we honor our time, space, and energy. Laulima means “many hands” so remember that you don’t have to do everything for everyone. There are many hands to help out and contribute, so do what would honor you and those around you.
Forgive
Huikala and ho’oponopono are two Hawaiian values that mean forgiveness and making things right. Forgiveness brings freedom. I know it’s hard to let go of the hurt that people have caused you, especially when you were completely innocent.
Huikala. Let it go. As a Christian, I believe Christ can help ease our burdens. Even the very thought of reaching to him can bring warmth, relief, and love to help us forgive others. ☀️
Find your people. Appreciate and serve them.
Let go of relationships not serving you. People come and go in seasons of our lives, so it’s ok if you don’t keep in contact with each one at every moment of every day. This is a huge reason I left social media (Facebook, specifically). I didn’t need to stay in contact with every single person I met through my entire life. I truly appreciated them when we lived in the same location or attended the same local church.
But I don’t need to know every detail of their lives. In fact, I can list the 5-6 people in my current circle of friends right now—my people, who love, support, and cheer me on. They know what’s going on in my life and I know what’s going on in theirs. Some of them are friends from the past and we have one anothers’ emails and phone numbers, and some of them are people in my current life like church friends, neighbors, family, and more. These are my people.
With trauma, we are overloaded… with emotions, information, and copious amounts of stress. We don’t need more stress by over-connecting with others.
Find your people—your people, your tribe, the ones who know, love, and truly care about you. And be ok letting the others go. I’m not saying to “unfriend” them or be unkind, but be ok not getting together all the time, interacting with all their posts, or answering every call. Again, we must show aloha towards ourselves and honor that we are healing. We can’t keep overloading ourselves, and your people will honor and respect that too.
Appreciate and serve your people as well. It will bring a deep joy and satisfaction to your life to support your loved ones.
Pono – Live balanced
Ponois the Hawaiian value meaning “correct, righteousness,” and “balance.” Live balanced. Work to maintain good health in every aspect: physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. There’s not much to say about this except that being healthy helps with confidence, releases endorphins, and boosts motivation.
Embrace the inner child
I’ve heard the term “inner child” tossed around here and there, and I’ve kind of come to love and define it in a way that makes sense for me. Have you ever imagined or visualized yourself going through trauma? Whenever I think of the things I’ve gone through and see myself in those situations, I just want to give my younger self a big hug. She was scared, exhausted, and dying inside, when she really just wanted to feel safe, protected, and loved.
To me, those inner voices pleading for help are the inner child. The inner child is the one who needed a hug, the one who so desperately needed words of validation, the one who craved to be creative yet held back because of the unkind words of others.
When the traumatic event is behind us, can we embrace the inner child? To me, this is showing ourselves aloha. We’re giving ourselves the love, validation, forgiveness, kindness, safety, and protection we so desperately needed as we went through traumatic events.
For me this also looks like embracing who I truly am: a creative, a writer, an artist, and so much more. My younger self deeply wanted to be all these things, but trauma held me back. Now, I’m embracing that, and it’s given me a huge sense of freedom and joy.
We can all embrace who we’re truly meant to be and that can bring so much satisfaction and motivation in life. Creativity also gives us a zest for life. Here is one of my favorite speeches about finding joy in life and pertains to healing/loving ourselves: Finding Joy in Life
Journal
This is self explanatory, but I know that journaling doesn’t come naturally for some people. A person who goes through a traumatic event might ask, What is there to write about? There’s pretty much anything and everything you could ever want to write about in a journal: feelings, dreams, goals, inspiration, stories, ideas, quotes, and so forth. Your journal is what you want it to be. I like to write about the ups and downs in my life, and the lessons I learn from them, as it helps me process, forgive, and move forward with aloha. Honestly, write whatever you want but know that writing helps us process, and processing helps us heal.
Find your calm
I’ve recently discovered two things that help me calm down and de-stress after traumatic events: exercising and/or reading a book. My brain, on overload, wants to blow up. Exercising helps me shake out the adrenaline. Reading a book helps me calm down. It took me too many years to discover this about myself, so maybe you can shorten that process by finding what works for you. It could be exercising, cooking, eating, walking, listening to music, going to a specific place, etc. Find your calm, the activities that help ground and bring you back to the present.
Reach out to God
With trauma, a person can go one of two ways in their religious activities. One person might devote more time to God, while another steps away. Again, please recognize that these are natural reactions to trauma. With the overload, we might think, “If I’m more spiritual, I’ll feel better” or “I just can’t handle anything right now.” And that’s OK. Just as we shouldn’t judge ourselves for numbing after traumatic events, we shouldn’t judge ourselves for going one way or another with religion and spirituality.
The key, however, is reaching out to God. I know it’s hard. A lot of people say, “I am a good person, so why did this happen to me?” and they don’t want to reach out to God. That’s also a natural reaction, so withhold judgment there. I don’t know all the answers, but I do know trauma has refined me in such a way that I’m stronger, more resilient, and compassionate. I would never wish my trauma on anyone else, but I know that those who have suffered similar and survived understand the molding and growth that the trauma put them through. And when it sometimes felt like God was quiet, I now understand that I probably needed to go through that so I could have more empathy and compassion for others.
Reaching out to God, even in prayer, is never a waste. We might not get the answers we want right away, but we can show him our faith, and that will always yield blessings.
Conclusion
Trauma is a part of life. We can’t avoid it, but we can purposefully do things to help us heal and ho’omau through our journey. There’s a scripture I found recently that I really like. It says to “have mercy… deal justly, judge righteously, and do good” (Alma 41:14). Everything about this is aloha. Have mercy with yourself as you heal. Deal justly with how you treat yourself, judge righteously instead of shaming yourself for natural reactions, and keep doing good. Do good to others, and do good to yourself.
This is a hard but beautiful journey. This is beauty in the pain, light in the darkness, and life from the ashes. Live aloha and ho’omau. You got this.
Sending aloha and good vibes,
Lei
Trauma recovery additional resources
Healing the Tragic Scars of Abuse: One of my favorite speeches that really hits home. He is so compassionate in this speech and his faith inspires me to have more faith.
The Infinite Power of Hope: I think a lot of healing comes from having hope: the hope of feeling better, the hope that things get better, the hope that life will turn out the way it should, etc. This speech is heartwarming, easy to relate with, and full of hope!
The Revolutionary Trauma Release Process by David Bercelli: I am currently taking a TRE class and enjoying it thoroughly. The concept of “shaking it off” might seem too weird for some people so do what works for you. Everything about this course makes sense and works for me and if you decide to try it out, I recommend going to a class first. It’s helpful to have an instructor keep an eye on and help you get the exercises and tremoring down before doing it on your own. Since I heal and cope well with exercise, it makes sense to let my body heal through shaking off trauma. The body is incredibly smart!
What are your thoughts on trauma recovery? Is there a method or idea that has worked for you that I haven’t listed here? Or have you tried any of the ideas in this list? Let us know in the comments below. Mahalo for your help!
Have aloha for all, and that includes yourself! But how many times do you start putting yourself down, showing anything but love to your body and mind? How many times do you listen to that little voice in our head saying negative things about you? Things like, “Ugh you looked so stupid” or “Why would anyone want to go with you?” or “You’re pretty much worthless so stop trying.” They’re things we would never tell another person and yet we say these things to ourselves all the time. We put ourselves down, sometimes without even realizing it!
Why do you put yourself down?
So why do we do it? Sometimes we’ve learned negative beliefs from childhood or adolescence. Especially for those who have experienced abuse, neglect, or trauma in some way, we feel undeserving of love, of hope, and even other important things in life like a relationship with God, wealth, having basic needs met (food, shelter, clothes), healthy relationships, good health, etc.
Sometimes we compare ourselves to others and assume things about ourselves and others, such as, “I’ll never be pretty enough to be popular” or “They’re just rich because their parents are rich.” We put limits on our abilities, circumstances, and resources based off of other people. “They’re doing it because they’re smarter, wealthier, prettier, etc than me.” And then the negative self talk spirals down from there.
Why should you stop putting yourself down?
If you’ve put yourself down almost all the time, life can feel miserable and depressing. Some of the kindest, warm-hearted, generous people I know just love others unconditionally, and yet they are hardest on themselves. I’m one of those people, and let’s just put it out there that putting yourself down is almost like an addiction or bad habit. It’s soooo hard to stop putting yourself down, but when you begin listening to your thoughts, processing, and reframing them, your heart starts to feel lighter. You feel more confident. Your relationships improve, and, may I add, especially your relationship with God. You realize that your worth is not based off a scale others put you on. Your worth is infinite, divine, and uniquely you. You were ALWAYS worth it, you just have to realize it.
So here are 7 simple yet effective ways to stop putting yourself down.
Listen to your thoughts
The first thing is to listen. Do you hear the voices in your head? There are SO many saying things at the same time. “Do this, do that…” “Don’t talk to her because she doesn’t like you…” “You look awful today…” From the moment we wake up to the moment we fall asleep, we are constantly thinking, even if it’s just memorizing the list of things you need to do that day. Stop and listen to yourself.
It’s so easy to get into the habit of negativity without even realizing it. How many times did you put yourself down during the day? One exercise to try is each time your thoughts say something negative to yourself, say at least 5 kind things about yourself. You might be surprised how many times you do this exercise throughout the day. My favorite technique is the following: reframe your thoughts/beliefs and ask yourself, “What does God think of me?”
Reframe your thoughts + What does God think of you?
Whenever I hear the negative voice in my head, I know it’s easy to get into the negative spiral downwards until I feel depressed, unmotivated, and pretty hopeless. Nobody seems to know about these silent battles, because they’re battles in our heads—and sometimes they manifest themselves in emotional/mental breakdowns, depression, etc.
So instead of getting to that point of despair, try this. 1) Listen to your thoughts, truly process and evaluate what your thoughts are saying. 2) Recognize that most of the negative thoughts you’re thinking aren’t true—they’re usually exaggerations, built on years of self abuse, abuse from others, loss, grief, trauma, a negative past experience, etc. You can ask questions like:
Are you exaggerating the negativity about yourself? Absolutely.
Are you really ALWAYS going to make mistakes (or that same mistake)? Probably not, and if you did, it’s OK. We aren’t perfect and we make mistakes all the time. Just keep trying, you’ll get it.
Are you REALLY worthless? No.
Am I really that ugly? No.
Ask yourself these kinds of questions, in response to your negative thoughts, and answer them from the eyes of someone who loves and cares about you deeply. For me, I try to picture how God would answer these questions. It helps me recognize my divine worth—that I am a his daughter, and, as such, I am royalty. I can wear a crown of love with elegance and grace.
Have an attitude of gratitude
Instead of writing a list of things you’re grateful for, why not just have an attitude of gratitude? Say a prayer of thanks for the little things. Thank your coworkers, spouse, and even strangers for the small things they do.
Try to appreciate the little things, like the bed you sleep in, the food you eat, hot showers, and comfy clothes. There is SO much to be grateful for, and when we look outside ourselves to see it, our life is full of beauty and blessings.
Don’t compare yourself with others
Comparison is the thief of joy. How often do we find ourselves scrolling through social media, feeling like the people on there have the “perfect” lives? While here we are just trying to make ends meet or get through another day… Sometimes we compare ourselves to our neighbors, to people in our churches or community, or even to people in our families.
When that starts to happen, it’s like a fog settles on your life. You start to see things as “not enough,” and then you start to see yourself as “not enough.” And here’s the thing. You ARE enough. God didn’t make you to be the spitting image of that girl on social media. He made you as YOU. Uniquely, beautifully, and divinely YOU. Your journey, your life, your style, your tastes, and your timing are not meant to be the same as others. Embrace the wonderful person you are, and the place you are in your life’s journey.
Even if you aren’t where you want to be yet, and others seem to get there faster, learn to be happy for them. Sometimes that’s easier said than done, especially when you might think you’re more deserving of the life they have tan them… but when you just feel grateful for where you are and embrace your stage of life, the fog begins to lift. You can see clearly, and you can see that you are enough. You always were!
Keep a journal
As you listen to your thoughts and try different strategies to stop putting yourself down, record your experience. One day you’ll look back and feel deep gratitude for the journey that you went through to get where you want to be. And, who knows? Perhaps one day you’ll be able to share your journey and uplift others. 🙂
Collect sunshine + positivity
In Hawaii, I always loved finding the pockets of sunshine, especially during the rainy months of February and March. Whenever the sun would shine through the clouds, I’d just enjoy it. I loved it so much, and appreciated those little moments. Physically find those pockets of sunshine in your life, as they’ll remind you of the warmth and love God has for you. And then also collect sunshine + positivity from others.
A wise teacher once told me, “Be friends with everyone, but choose your friends wisely.” The people you hang out with can have a huge impact on whether you put yourself down on or not. Choose those friends who are bright lights, who give sunshine. When you give and collect sunshine, your life is a bright light—for you and for others.
Have aloha for all, including yourself
It’s time to stop putting yourself down. Your life and journey are yours, and the more sunshine, love, and hope you put into your life, the happier you’ll be. You don’t have to travel to Hawaii to find happiness, you can create it right where you are. And even if you dream of going to Hawaii, know that it’s possible. Any of your dreams are possible. As you start applying these simple strategies to stop putting yourself down + start having more aloha for yourself, your mindset will change. As your mindset changes to gain more light and perspective, you’ll find yourself in Hawaii in no time!
If you feel bad or sad that you’re alone/single, I want to say it’s OK. As a young single adult growing up in Hawaii, I was totally ok with being single and alone. My parents had divorced and the idea of marriage seemed awful to me. However, when I moved to Utah a couple years later, there was a whole new culture exposed, and I began to feel that being single + alone was a bad thing. In fact, all my peers were getting married so young. I felt so out of place. Have you felt this way?
To some (especially older generations), being single + alone is viewed as a bad thing. Without fail, family members would ask, “Are you dating?” at every event, reminding me of my marital status. I hadn’t cared about it up until living in Utah, and I had to give myself permission to be OK with being alone. In fact, I gave myself permission to be happy + celebrate this time of my life!
So let’s just stick to the Hawaiian style, where everything is slower and we get to enjoy right where we are. Here are some ideas to help you be OK with being alone:
Remove unrealistic expectations
As a little girl, I thought my ideal life would be to graduate from college, serve a church mission, get my masters degree, write books, meet someone at age 27, date for a year (just to be sure), and get married at 28. Then I could have kids and yaddah yaddah after that. Well, by the age of 23 I started to feel antsy. It seemed like all my peers were getting married and having babies, and they were all somewhat younger than me (21, 20, etc). I wanted to find my dream guy, but it just wasn’t in the books. So… I removed the unrealistic expectations of the culture in Utah—I didn’t have to get married before 25, I didn’t even have to feel bad about it. I was on my journey.
I’m so glad I changed my mindset, because I was able to take control of what I could: cleaning up the mess my dad left after my parents divorced, traveling to Hawaii, working, and then… when the timing was right, I met my to-be husband.
There are so many unrealistic expectations that 1) we put on ourselves or 2) our parents put on us or 3) the culture/community/society puts on us or 4) all of the above. When you evaluate those expectations, they’re SO unrealistic. Know that you are on YOUR journey, and that YOU can set your expectations. You’re in control sister!
Be grateful
This is an obvious solution, but when you really just stop and see how far you’ve come, there’s so much to be grateful for. Living in mahalo is truly a happy way of life. Living mahalo also helps you recognize that this time of being alone is an amazing way to improve you and your character. It’s a time of life to appreciate you for YOU, and love the journey.
Keep a journal
Record this time of your life, both the ups and the downs. Write lists of things that make you happy, and even things that make you sad. Write your feelings about being single, your dreams, and desires. Your journal is your personal space. It’s like talking to a trusted friend, which is so important when you don’t have a physical person there with you.
Give yourself permission
We’re all human, and we need to let our emotions out somehow. Give yourself permission to feel the emotions. It really is OK to feel sad at times, even discouraged or disappointed. When you’re alone and have nobody to talk to, it feels like there’s no outlet. But when you give yourself permission to just be and feel, you provide an outlet. So let yourself feel sad, but have a plan to boost your spirits.
When I was alone and single, working my tail off to make ends meet, I wrote everything in my journal. It was an amazing relief, especially because I didn’t have very many friends or people to talk to (besides my coworkers and witchy supervisor). But I also HAD to give myself time to feel sad, or I’d explode. I gave myself permission to listen to a couple of few sad songs that resonated with me at the time, and then I had a plan for after: I’d get up, take a walk, create something, write in my journal, or call one of my sisters.
Find joy in the journey
Just enjoy this stage of your life. Look at the positives. Create opportunities from obstacles. Stop to smell the roses and enjoy the warmth of the sun on your skin.
Keep improving yourself
Being single is the perfect time to improve yourself. Before you step into a relationship or marriage, you have a time of life to begin becoming the best YOU. Of course, none of us are perfect, but the earlier you start on improving and strengthening your character, the better your life will be. You’re actually creating paradise NOW, instead of waiting for the right person to come along. You’re in control of your life.
Trust God and his plan
Now is a great time to start developing/strengthening your relationship with God. When I was alone/single, I learned so much about who I was… because of who I am to God. I recognized, on a deeper level, how much he loves me and that I’m never alone. I learned that his plan is better than mine, and I just need to trust him and the process. I know that being single/alone can really suck at times, but turn this obstacle into an opportunity.
Do self care
Nothing fancy, just something nice for yourself. Valentine’s Day seems to be a hard day for those without a significant other, but make an opportunity of it. Get something for yourself and/or even for a friend!
Strengthen family ties
Being single is actually super fun because you get to strengthen your relationship with your family—and when I say family, I mean, specifically, siblings. Siblings are gifts from God, no matter how annoying or stupid they can be. You spent your childhood and adolescence together—and now, as adults, you have SO much more freedom to have fun, explore, and make memories together. Strengthen those bonds because, you’ll learn, as you get older, your circle of acquaintances and friends fade away, but your siblings are always there.
Keep a close group of friends
You don’t have to have a gazillion friends, just one or a few. Friends can really help you find joy and adventure in life, big and small. It’s important for your health to get out and socialize, and when you’re with people you love and admire, it’s a win-win. As an introvert, I just did NOT want to get out, and if I did get out, I would have rather gone alone. But when I did push myself to go, I was always glad I did. Just remember… you don’t have to have tons of friends… just one or a few good friends will make such a huge difference and help you enjoy life.
Find opportunities to serve
You can gain a deep satisfaction in life by serving others. Being alone/single isn’t so bad when you have an opportunity to serve. Whether you serve quietly in your church, or volunteer in the community, you are making a difference—not just for others, but for yourself too.
Be OK with being alone
I’m sorry if people always ask you if you’re dating someone, or if your grandma/grandpa/aunts/uncles/parents pester you and try to find someone suitable for you. I’m so sorry if people are placing these unrealistic expectations on you. I once talked to a friend at my church about it and she literally started crying because she felt so bad that she was STILL SINGLE! But it’s OK! This is your journey, your life. It is unlike anyone else’s life. You have just as much value as any other woman, and your unique mission and purpose in this world is still there. You are enough—you always were! I hope you feel better about being alone. You are amazing.
This isn’t the kind of “treat” yourself article, with ideas on makeup, clothes, and food to pamper you. This goes beyond that, to a state of you becoming. Growing up in Hawaii, I realized that “things” don’t last. Cars and trucks rust within a few years, food gets soggy if left out, the lava takes over whatever it wants—burning any homes in its path, and any garden or home left untouched becomes a part of the jungle—the trees and plants growing over anything it can. Despite most physical “things” not lasting in Hawaii, there were some “things” that did last—things you couldn’t see, but felt—relationships, love, family, God, good energy. And this article is to help you improve one of these key unseen relationships, aka your relationship with yourself.
If you struggle to love yourself, recognize those reasons why (Read The Top 5 Reasons You Don’t Like Yourself + How to Stop It) and then process and reframe your mind. Creating a healthy relationship with yourself can impact your life forever, and it can impact every person around you. Have you ever met that woman who carries herself with grace, who looks as though a crown is on her head—she isn’t haughty, no. She knows who she is, and she loves and embraces who she is. And you can too. Here are the top 8 steps on how you can do that:
Be kind in your thoughts
Listen to what your thoughts are saying. I’ve repeated this time and time again in my articles, but when you truly take a moment to listen to your thought process, you’ll recognize you deserve better. The negativity you tell yourself simply isn’t true. You ARE worth it, and no matter how many mistakes you make, you can get up and keep trying.
Recognize life obstacles for what they are
We’ve all had terrible things happen to us—whether we caused the pain ourselves, or someone did something awful to us. I’m not undermining these experiences—they are deeply painful, scarring, and can leave us totally stuck, immovable. Recognize these life obstacles as just that: obstacles. Sometimes it takes a while to get over them, and sometimes you might feel as though you’ll always carry some part of it with you… but continue to rise above them. Remember that life obstacles are just events in life, not life itself. When you recognize that, you realize that your life has a beautiful and hopeful journey—it doesn’t have to always be like the darkness you experienced.
Create something
Being creative helps you enjoy life, and, even more so, enjoy being you. When you let your creativity flow, whether you’re painting a picture, playing/singing music, writing a poem, or whatever craft/art/medium suits your fancy, you are actually giving yourself permission to be YOU. What better way to love yourself?
As a Hawaiian, I’ve always loved flower crowns. In Hawaii they’re called lei po’o or haku lei. Whenever I create a haku lei for me or another person, I feel the good energy inside of me—love for my ability to be creative, and love for the person I’m making the lei for. Find something to create and feel the good energy, the zest for life, and enjoy!
Do something you love
Treat yourself to something you absolutely love… something that will raise your spirits and provide a wholesome activity for you. Whether that’s spending time with a loved one, reading a book, or even just going for a calm drive through the mountains… doing something you love helps you appreciate you!
Don’t hold back on promptings
You know when you have that feeling to go and do something? I suggest you go and do it. 😉 Listening to those promptings from God will inspire your life, and help you feel his love for you.
Serve others + self
When you do something for a person who can’t do it by themselves, it provides a deep satisfaction for life. You feel appreciated for what you do—if not by the person you provided service to than, at the very least, from God. Even serving yourself provides satisfaction, in whatever form that looks for you: eating healthy, writing in your journal, reading the scriptures, or watching an uplifting show.
Celebrate the little successes
You’re doing great. I wish you could know just that. The very fact that you’re here, finding ways to take care of yourself, shows that you’re on the right path. Celebrate that you’re here! And celebrate the little successes: waking up on time, getting to bed on time, serving a friend, smiling at a stranger, etc. You’re doing better than you think. 😉
Pray
Sometimes it’s hard to love yourself when you feel depressed or lonely. In these moments, even just the thought of liking yourself feels impossible. As someone who had depression, I realized that I could not recover on my own, and I needed divine intervention. So I turned to prayer—I always turned to prayer when I couldn’t love myself. God helped me to see my worth as his daughter. He showed me that I’m never alone, because he is always looking out for me. I know he can do the same for you.
Celebrate + Love You
You’re amazing. There’s no-one like you on this earth. You have a unique mission and purpose, and as you learn to love yourself, you learn what exactly those are for you. Your life will be filled with satisfaction and purpose, and when trials come (which they will for all of us), you’ll be better equipped because you know who you are + you already love yourself enough to know you can get through any of your hardest days.
Sending love from one daughter of a king to another,
Growing up in Hawaii, I learned a lot of common sayings from locals, but one saying really applies to those moments you don’t like yourself, or when I didn’t like myself. One of these sayings is, “Is all good.” People would say this for everything—when you made a mistake, when you forgot something, when there was an accident, when you tripped, when you stammered on your words… and to be honest, it was all good.
But, for some reason, we seem to dwell on the bad things about ourselves, and to us, things really aren’t “all good.” Because we’re only human, there are reasons we don’t like ourselves. Perhaps we learned beliefs from our parents, who said things about themselves, and we internalized it into ourselves. Perhaps we suffered from abuse, neglect, trauma, or some other grief in life, and that changed our mind into thinking, “I don’t like myself” or “I don’t deserve anything good in life” or “I won’t ever be happy.”
This article talks about the top reasons you don’t like yourself, and then how to stop. Why is it important to know the reasons you don’t like yourself? When you begin to understand your thought processes and your beliefs about yourself (which are usually false), then you begin to realize that you are of infinite worth. You have full permission to like—even love—yourself because a Heavenly Father already loves you so much, and he created you as uniquely YOU. You can’t be replaced by anyone, and when you see that, anything is possible. You deserve joy, grace, and love.
So here are the top reasons you don’t like yourself…
You compare yourself and your life to others
This is the most obvious reason you might not like yourself. When you scroll through social media and see others (especially peers) who have so much success, and you don’t have those same results, it can feel crushing. It can feel like you you’re doing something wrong, or you’re just not rich, pretty, skinny, etc enough. Basically you feel like you “aren’t enough” and that you never will be. But that’s simply not true. You ARE enough, and you always have been. You have a unique mission here on this earth, different from the girl you see on social media, different from your neighbor, or the lady at church. You are beautifully YOU! 😀
You have suffered through a lot of darkness
Mental illness, such as depression and anxiety can really cause feelings of dislike for yourself. With depression, you can feel hopeless, isolated, and even helpless. And when you have a small group of friends (or no friends), it can feel so alone. You think, “Well, if nobody likes to hang out with me, am I even worth anything?” The feelings of self-hatred can burn so strongly in these moments of grief and despair. My heart weeps for those who feel this way—because I was in the same place too once. Know that there is hope. There is always hope, through a loving God, who created a perfect plan just for you. Trust in that plan, trust that he loves you infinitely, without bounds.
You suffered neglect
If you were neglected as a child or adolescent by a parent or sibling, or even as an adult by a spouse, then you can begin to believe that nobody cares about you. You begin to think that because you’ve been so neglected, that
Someone took advantage of you
Whether you were the victim of abuse or a victim of the system (government, school, etc), someone somewhere down the line took advantage of you, making you feel weak, hopeless, helpless, and unwanted. It’s not fair, you think. Why do all these bad things happen to me? The conclusion comes up that you probably deserve it, or that you have no worth so of course it would happen to you. That’s not true though. You were a victim to someone else’s inappropriate behavior, but you still have worth. You are still a beautiful daughter of a King.
Your needs weren’t met
If you didn’t have the basic necessities of life growing up (shelter, food, clothes), then you might think that nobody cares about you, so why should you care about yourself? This simply isn’t true though. YOU can be the chain in your family that breaks off the cycle of poverty, of abuse, of neglect. You CAN have your needs met. As you continue to work hard and keep your eyes focused on the light, you can do it.
You’re not where you want to be (physically, mentally, etc)
Sometimes the struggle is just SO REAL in trying to reach your dreams. Whether you’re trying to lose weight, be more patient, or just be kinder to yourself, when you fail, it’s easy to get frustrated at YOU. But here’s the thing. You’re trying! Some people don’t even make it to the step of trying. Every try is a step in the right direction. And every fail is an opportunity to learn. You got this sister!
How to Stop it + Start LOVING yourself more
When Hawaii locals would say to me, “Is all good,” sometimes I’d feel a little infuriated. “They obviously haven’t been through or seen what I’ve seen…” I’d say in my head. As someone who survived abuse and poverty, I realized, however, that I could MAKE things “all good.” I could even make things BETTER. I was in control of my life, and I could choose how to react to things and how to start believing in myself.
And you can too. You have full control of your life, and you can start believing in yourself more. To start loving yourself more, you need to first recognize the source of your dislike. What is the honest reason you dislike yourself so much? Read through the reasons above and take time to ponder your life, your purpose, and how all of your experiences have molded you. Then, recognize and process the reasons you don’t like yourself. Will you let these reasons affect you for the rest of your life? Or will you let go of the negativity and recognize that you have an infinite and divine worth, and that you can reach whatever dreams you want?
Once you make your decision, live by it. Recognize that you can do it! Our trials and hardships are events in life, not life itself. Start loving yourself a little more by giving yourself credit for even the smallest successes. Celebrate the gift of your life. You are so loved and so worthy. I hope you can start loving yourself more this year and experience even more joy!
The holidays should be a time of gratitude, reflection, and light… but for most of us it can also be a time of extreme holiday stress, especially because of all the expectations: gift giving, hosting parties, going to parties, giving treats to the neighbors, getting together with family, etc… It can feel pretty horrible when there’s family drama going on too (trust me, I’ve been there and get it).
While there’s the rush and bustle in the stores, and the unmerciful marketing strategies telling you to “buy this” or “buy that,” the simplicity of the holidays disappear—even a homemade gift makes you feel like a failure.
But it doesn’t have to be that way. You CAN avoid the holiday stress and actually enjoy the season! When you take good care of yourself, you’re better able to help others—and enjoy it too! Christmas doesn’t have to be a burden. With some planning and simple strategies, you can avoid the holiday stress this year!
1. Remember the reason for the season
When you really pause and remember WHO we are celebrating at Christmas time, it can change your whole perspective. As you admire and reflect on the birth of Jesus Christ, you can add so much light to your life. The hustle and bustle, the pressure, and the stress all become silent when you focus on Christ.
2. Limit social time
If you tend to feel drained after being around people, it’s a good idea to limit your social time. The holidays are full of parties and get-togethers. Give yourself permission to NOT have to attend each one, and only do what you can handle.
3. Use a planner
Instead of trying to remember everything, use a planner to organize your life and thoughts. I created the Holiday Self Care Planner to stay organized, keep up my routines, and just take care of myself, especially during the cold of the winter. You can use this planner or others to alleviate the stress and free up your mind.
4. Snuggle up with a loved one
Take a breather and snuggle up with your spouse, a furry friend, or your boyfriend/girlfriend. Just being close to another living soul brings perspective, peace, and even joy back into you.
5. Prioritize your time
Ask yourself, what do I REALLY want to get done? It’s so easy to get distracted from the things that matter most. Instead of rushing all over the place to buy gifts or food, ask yourself what you really want this Christmas, then intentionally follow through with your answers.
6. Serve more
When we lift the burdens of others, our own burdens are lifted too. Serving doesn’t have to be something huge, although volunteering and donating are wonderful ways to give. Service can be as simple as visiting a friend, texting a loved one, smiling, or showing gratitude.
7. Forgive others
Family and friends can get on your nerves during the holidays. Well, nobody is perfect so this holiday season try to intentionally forgive others. If someone says something rude, ungrateful, or sarcastic, make an intentional choice to forgive them.
8. Be grateful
This is such a simple tip, but taking a moment to thank someone sincerely (even strangers like cashiers at the stores, etc), writing a gratitude list, or saying a prayer of gratitude will fill your heart with joy.
9. Treat yourself
It’s so easy to let self-care slip during the holiday season. Healthy eating disappears, routines go out the window, and basic self care just doesn’t happen. Be intentional with taking care of yourself during the holidays. Winter blues and holiday stress can hugely impact your mental and physical health. Try a 30-day Self Care Challenge or put the Simple Self Care Checklist somewhere you can see it.
10. Write lists
I’ve always been a fan of lists. When you write lists, you are able to organize your thoughts better. I used to write a lot of “Control” lists because my life felt so out of control. Other list ideas are fears, wants, needs, gratitude, etc. To clear your mind, write lists on your phone, a napkin, just about anything you can write with.
11. Find beauty
If you’re too busy, the beauty of the winter season can slip right by. Find beauty in the lights, the snow, and the decorations. I’ve never been a great Christmas decorator so I appreciate the efforts of others with their lights and themed decorations. I also really appreciate the beauty and magic of fresh snow.
12. Be patient
Know that the holiday/winter season is just that… it’s a season. It passes. There’s a quote that says life is meant to be enjoyed, not just endured. However, if there are some moments that you need to just “endure,” give yourself grace and love in these times.
13. Don’t compare yourself with others
When you’re looking at social media, the marketing at stores, or even your neighbors, you might start to compare your holiday season with theirs. Know that your Christmas/holiday season and experience is unique to you and that your life and timeline is completely different. Also remember that instead of feeling jealousy, you can intentionally choose to feel happy for others. Sure, you’re not where they are, but know that your journeys are different.
14. Keep it simple
I don’t know about you, but it stresses me out majorly when things get complicated. You don’t have to attend every social gathering, do all the traditions, or spend tons of money. I’ve found that the simpler you keep things, the traditions, gifts, and season become much more meaningful.
15. Budget
Budgeting is super underrated (and sometimes not even done!) during the holidays, and people end up spending way too much money at Christmas time. With the pressure, the hustle, and the merciless marketing, it’s easy to feel like you owe everyone something. Even if you buy little things for everyone, it definitely adds up. Limit the holiday stress by setting a budget and keeping your commitments to that budget.
Conclusion
I hope you can find more peace and less stress this holiday season by applying at least one or some of these tips. Joy isn’t something that is beyond your reach, even in the cold, the busy-ness, and the hustle of the holidays. As you take a deep breath, refocus, and center yourself on the real reason for the season, your capacity to love and serve increases, and you can create paradise right where you are.
Wishing you a very merry Christmas and joyful new year!
What would it feel like to be a happier person this next year? It’s easy to look back at 2019 and think, “Dang… It was a rough year…” or you might be pulling your hair, saying, “I had WAY too much going on this year!” Either way, the end of the year brings a lot of self-reflection.
You can’t change the things that happened in 2019, but you can look forward to 2020, a year to start fresh. It’s new beginnings, one of my favorite things. There’s no limit to the amount of happiness you can have in this life, so why not make 2020 your happiest year?
The following tips are ways I’ve used to be a happier person and by applying some (or all) of these ideas, expect to be a more joyful/happier person in 2020!
1.Be grateful
Never underestimate the power of gratitude. Instead of looking at the things you lack, look at the things you have. Make more efforts to express gratitude, whether you have a goal of expressing thanks to someone daily, keeping a gratitude journal, or making weekly gratitude lists.
2. Set goals + work towards them
New Years Resolutions are the best way to become a happier person. When you truly work towards something that brings you life, your motivation increases and you actually look forward to each day.
3. Dream big
When you set your goals for the new year, dream big. There’s nothing wrong with the childlike wonder of dreaming big and taking action steps to do what you always wanted to do! If you don’t dream big, what do you have to look forward to? So if you always wanted to take a vacation to Hawaii or see the Eiffel tower, dream big and make it a goal! Make plans to get yourself there and as you work diligently towards your dreams, you will enjoy the journey!
4. Change up little things (like morning/evening routines)
If you’ve felt like you’ve been stuck in a rut this past year, change up little things, like your morning and evening routine. Or if you’re not very organized, change things up and get a planner for the new year. If you don’t have routines or systems, 2020 is a great time to start! Daily, consistent, little changes will add up over time and make big changes in your life.
5. Be consistent with a morning/evening routine
Following up with the last tip… be consistent. If you haven’t developed a morning/evening routine, 2020 is your time to shine. You don’t have to get up at 5:30 right away, but work your way up to the time you want to wake up. Keeping these small commitments to yourself helps you build trust with yourself and increases productivity, confidence, and creativity.
6. Celebrate small victories
Let me just say you’re already doing great! The fact that you are even reading this shows that you’re working on improving yourself and seeking more joy in your life. Celebrate the small victories: getting up on time, working out, smiling at someone, making yourself pretty for the day, etc…
7. Stay healthy + make it fun
If you weren’t able to reach your health goals this year, you have a chance at it next year. 🙂 I’ve found that in order to stay healthy, you gotta make it fun. I’m a runner so I enjoy blasting my music and going for a run—it makes me feel really good. But I know so many women who love Zumba or High Fit. So find the workout that makes you sweat but is also fun!
8. Drink more water
This is self-explanatory, but do your body + skin + health a favor by drinking enough water. If you need to, put it on your daily to-do list so you don’t forget.
9. Try something new (hobby)
Is there something you always wanted to do? Like learn a language or pick up a new skill? When you dream big and set your goals, don’t forget to add in these little things to try. Doing new things will help you enjoy life more!
10. Plan a fun vacation
Always wanted to travel? Plan something fun for the year! Work it with your budget and then go for it—there is no better time to travel than now! The world is waiting for you!
11. Become a budget master
With all of your big dreams and traveling, you might need some $$$ to get around! There are so many awesome apps, books, and blogs to help you get started with budgeting. The more control you have over your money, the better you’ll feel this year!
12. Journal more
You don’t have to write in your journal for the big moments only… you can write little things each day. How did you feel? What did you learn? Who did you meet? What are you grateful for? Writing our thoughts + experiences improves our memory and helps us feel more gratitude in our daily lives.
13. Go on more dates
Whether you’re married or single, you can be a happier person in 2020 by going on more dates! Get together with a bunch of friends and do something fun, or plan a romantic dinner with your loved one. Going on dates helps rekindle friendships and love. It also keeps things interesting!
14. Read inspirational books (maybe one a month?)
Let this be your year of growth and learning by reading more books, especially inspirational ones. Self help books and memoirs can enhance your perspective and help you enjoy life. I set a goal to read at least one book a month but set a goal according to your needs and lifestyle. Some of my favorite books to get started with are “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People” and “Managing with Aloha.”
15. Unfollow negativity (people, politics, etc)
Detox your social media accounts by unfollowing anything that lowers your vibe: sarcasm, porn, bullying, etc. If it’s not giving you light, it’s not worth following.
16. Be more spiritual + connect more with God
Let 2020 be your year to connect more with God. Setting goals to do daily prayer and scripture study can open your heart to greater love, understanding, and wisdom.
17. Be positive + optimistic
The next time you’re driving or talking to someone, listen to your thoughts and words. Are they negative—towards yourself or others? Are you belittling yourself or complaining? Make a conscious effort to retrain your words and mind. You’ll be surprised at the results.
18. Avoid sarcasm + gossiping
Similar to the previous tip, just be positive. Sarcasm and gossiping or two of the lowest kinds of energy—in fact, it sucks away the good energy instead of contributes. Sarcasm comes from the Greek word “sarkazein,” which means to “tear flesh.” Even if you’re just “being sarcastic,” there is still truth to your words. Someone could truly hurt from the words you say, so make an effort to avoid sarcasm and gossiping. You will be a much happier person if you do this.
19. Reorganize your space every couple of months
Sometimes we get stuck in the same routine, so do yourself a favor and change up your space every couple of months. It’s especially fun to do this in the beginning of the year, but don’t forget to do it throughout. Change up your bed comforter and pillow sheets to a different color, reorganize your office desk, or change up the decoration in the living room. Whatever you decide to do, intentionally reorganize to help keep you charged and unstuck.
20. Stop comparing
How many of us compared our lives with others this last year? I’m totally guilty of this so give yourself grace and make a decision not to compare yourself with others in the new year. Listen to your thoughts as you scroll through your social media and be very conscious with them. If you find yourself comparing, you can consciously be happy for others, take a break from following, or take a break from social media in general.
21. Get unstuck
If you’ve felt stuck in 2019, you’re not alone. Making decisions, getting through the daily routines, or just dealing with things in life can be very difficult. Start the year off right by getting unstuck.
22. Create paradise wherever you are
Know that you can be happy right where you are—even if you’re not in your dream location, your dream job, or have attained your dream lifestyle. There’s wisdom in enjoying the journey, not just enduring. If you’re not sure how to create paradise where you are, I’ve written a mini ebook about how to do just that! And it’s FREE. 😉
23. Come from a place of love
We, as women, are too hard on ourselves. For every mistake, every accident, every slip-up, we criticize and belittle ourselves. This year, make a conscious decision to come from a place of love. Have grace and patience with yourself. You are doing better than you think. Check out this article to learn more about coming from a place of love/aloha:
Always wanted to paint a masterpiece or write a book? Have you wanted to get into singing or started a business? When you allow yourself to be creative, you develop perspective and a new zest for life. Allow yourself to be creative and you’ll find you are a much happier person.
Plan outdoor activities for the year. You can even make a bucket list of hikes or outdoor places you’d like to visit. The nice thing is that you don’t have to go very far to be outside… you can literally walk outside your door. Anything that gets you into the fresh air counts!
26. Turn off unnecessary notifications
If your phone has taken over your life, take a few minutes to go into the settings and turn off the notifications for certain apps. Prioritize your time, meaning that you DON’T have to reply to or check an email or text the second it arrives. Set aside time to do these tasks.
27. Change up your playlists
Start the new year with a fresh, new playlist of songs. Allow yourself to get pumped and excited for all the amazing things you want to do this year, but don’t forget to switch it up often so that you don’t get stuck!
28. Volunteer more
Christ said that we find ourselves when we lose ourselves in service. If you want to be happier in 2020, one of the greatest way to do this is to serve others. Doing something good for someone else will boost your self-esteem, increase your capacity to love, and just help you feel good all around.
29. Take better care of yourself
If you’ve never had a self care planner, now is a great time to invest in one. Tracking your mood, crossing off simple checklists, and even tracking your period is all made easier with a self care planner! You can even try changing things up with 30-day self care challenges.
30. Do something you always wanted to do!
Going back to dreaming big, let this be the year where you do something you always wanted to do! Being a happier person is doing those things that help us fulfill our purpose on this earth. When you finally start doing those things, your life suddenly takes on more meaning, and you feel peace and satisfaction from God and within yourself.
Conclusion
So there you have it! As you apply these tips, know that 2020 is full of promise, excitement, and love for you. I am so looking forward to hearing about all of the amazing things you have planned ahead. In the comments below, let us know some of your 2020 goals and the tips you’d like to try to be a happier person!
Sending lots of aloha + good vibes for a successful new year,
When the sun rises later and sets earlier, the air is crisp and cold, and the indoors is the only safe and warm place to be, you know it’s winter. And… when winter comes, so does winter blues.
For most of us, winter blues isn’t something you just “know” you have. It comes on slowly, with lingering feelings of sadness, low energy, and lack of motivation. These feelings can be intensified as your time with family and friends during the holidays just doesn’t seem to lighten you up. Sometimes, it might just make you feel worse.
Winter Blues = Low Energy, Depression, Stress
When winter comes around, I tend to become less social, more negative, and depressed + stressed… NOT fun or a happy way to live for at least 3 months of the year. So I created some simple strategies to help me get out and beat the winter blues. Once I started doing these things, I found that I was more positive, had more energy, and didn’t stress as much.
Check out this list and pick out a few to try. And remember to come from a place of love. Have patience with yourself and choose strategies that you can implement into your routine for a happier, healthier, more colorful YOU. Let’s beat the winter blues naturally!
1. Dress warm
Did you know that just wearing the right clothes can make a HUGE difference? When I first moved to Utah, I was a poor girl from Hawaii and I didn’t have winter coats or anything warm really. I invested in some cheap (but stylish) boots and jacket, but I HATED winter because I always felt so cold. It wasn’t til after I got married that I invested in WARM winter clothes—the boots that actually keep your toes warm, and the jacket that blocks out the cold… So do yourself a favor and invest the first time. It’s totally worth it and allows you to get out more!
2. Stay hydrated + get enough sleep
Doing the basics of self care goes a long way. I carry a water flask with me and know that in one day I need to drink and refill it three times. I also try to drink a lot in the morning, which helps get my body energized and hydrated for a good day. Set reminders for yourself if needed.
Try to get enough sleep. It’s easy to stay up late because the sun goes down at 5 and before you know it, it’s 11pm and you should get some sleep. So try to follow a sleep schedule. Set alarms if you need to. When you wake up (if it’s before the sun), turn on a light to help your body feel more awake. We use a Himalayan Salt Lamp, which gives off a cozy, warm glow—a gentle way to light up the room and wake up.
3. Keep busy
This. Is. Huge.
Plan your days so that you have stuff going on—not crazy stuff like going out everyday, but little things like setting aside time to clean the house, take a nap, go on a walk, try a new hobby, cook food… keeping yourself busy helps alleviate the winter blues.
4. Get outdoors + natural lighting
Put those warm winter clothes on and get outside! You’ll be surprised at how refreshing the air feels. If you can get outside when there is sun, do it. If you’re at a job where you work when it’s dark and get out when it’s dark, try to take breaks and find a window or get outside for a second. At my workplace, I take little breaks from my desk and walk to the glass doors to feel the natural sunlight pouring through. Getting into natural light is one of the best ways to beat winter blues, and it feels SO good!
5. Find opportunities to be cozy/comfortable (like by a fireplace, etc)
I’m not the only one who likes the idea “hygge,” the Danish concept of coziness and warmth. Hygge is all about enjoying the present moment. It’s finding comfort and warmth in life, home, and relationships. So cuddle up with a loved one and get cozy! Find reasons to enjoy the present moment.
6. Clean/organize your space
While it’s snowing outside, it’s a great time to clean the house. A lot of people like to do spring, summer, and/or fall cleaning, but what about winter cleaning? It’s a great time to empty out the closets and see what stuff has been sitting there for years. Also, who knows what things you’ll find that you can donate? Knowing that you can help someone else out is a win win!
Winter is also a great time to reorganize your space. Does your office or living room need a face lift? Start designing your projects and ideas during the winter—it’s the perfect time to be indoors, browse pinterest, make projects, and get inspired!
7. Eat healthy + exercise
This goes back to the second strategy, but try to stick to a routine. With the holidays comes the consumption of sugar, cookies, and delicious foods which can leave you feeling even more blue. To avoid this, stick to a routine of healthy eating and exercise. Of course you can eat the holiday goodies, but try to eat healthier and exercise in general so that you don’t feel guilty about the fatty stuff. If you need some help getting a workout schedule set up, check out this holiday bundle.
8. Treat yourself (to a bubble bath, spa night, hair care, etc)
Plan something fun for yourself! Don’t you just feel tickled pink when you get a new haircut, a bubble bath, or some new makeup? You don’t have to spend tons of money, but doing something kind for your body just feels good!
9. Be intentional with social activities
It seems that the quality of relationships are intensified during the holidays: shaky relationships can feel worse, some relationships can be strengthened… For those who are single or alone—or who went through a family change that year (divorce, death, etc)—can especially feel the strain of grief during the holiday season. To help with mental health and overall wellness, be intentional with social activities. If you feel it would be helpful to go to a social event, then totally go. But if you feel like it would make things worse, have grace with yourself.
10. Read inspirational + positive books
When it’s cold and gloomy outside, it’s a great time to get into a good book! Read books that will raise your vibe—adventure stories, self-help books, inspirational/Christian books, etc. Allow the lessons learned from these books to inspire and uplift you.
11. Plan your strategies ahead of time (with a planner)
Winter means getting out that planner and intentionally scheduling what strategies you’ll use to beat the winter blues. For example, if you’re going to work when it gets dark and leave when it’s dark, schedule some breaks in the day to get into the natural light (like in strategy #4). If you have a day off, schedule some fun things to do to stay happy, warm, and cozy!
12. Learn a new skill/craft/hobby
It doesn’t have to be expensive, but creativity can help you find a zest and joy for life. There’s a feeling of satisfaction, freedom, and beauty in creating something. Find ideas on pinterest or learn something you always wanted to learn—even if that’s a new language (Duolingo for the win!).
13. Express gratitude + find beauty in the cold
Write a gratitude list and every once in a while, say prayers of gratitude. They don’t have to be long or fancy, but gratitude can raise your energy and help you appreciate what you have, rather than what you lack. It can also help you find beauty in the cold: the sparkling white blankets of snow, the way a snowflake looks when it falls from the sky…
14. Create a Winter Bucket list + make it fun
Have you made a bucket list before? Make a little list for yourself of things you’d enjoy doing, then go out and do them! Plan with friends, loved ones, or yourself!
15. Take care of your skin + lips
Keeping your skin and lips hydrated can make a huge difference. When your fingers and lips feel cracked and dry, it just doesn’t feel good. Treat yourself to some lovely smelling lotion and chapstick and apply as needed. 😉
16. Listen to good music
Totally into Frozen 2 right now, but put the headphones in and sing along, listen, dance to, and just enjoy your choice of music. This can also be paired up with strategy #5 to get cozy and warm!
17. Take vitamins
I’m all about healing and recovering naturally, so for a while I felt like vitamins weren’t a natural method. However, there are plenty of great vitamins out there to give you that little extra boost—and that are totally natural! For me, winter blues comes on because I don’t get as much Vitamin D (the vitamin we get from absorbing natural sunlight), so the vitamins help! I’m not a medic or professional though, so see your doctor if you have questions.
18. Get into a morning and/or evening routine
The routine really helps with winter, especially the morning and evening routine! With the natural light rising so late and setting so early, having a morning/evening routine helps regulate your body’s rhythm and gets you into a better mood. You feel more accomplished and settled with a morning/evening routine.
19. Plan a trip
You can plan a trip for the new year, or do a little getaway nearby. Just planning something “out” of where you are can boost your mood!
20. Be kind to yourself + cut yourself some slack
Holidays are stressful with family and money… So my last tip is to give yourself grace. We all fall short, we all feel down sometimes, and we all have to go through hard times… but remember that life is meant to be enjoyed, not just endured. Show yourself kindness and know that the winter will pass–enjoy it for the moment and make the most of it!
Now go get it!
So there you have it! 20 ways to beat the winter blues naturally! I want to end by sending aloha and good vibes your way—you can do it! The strategies I’ve listed here can really help you start feeling more peace and less stress. However, don’t feel ashamed to seek professional help if you feel more depressed and exhausted than usual. Do what is best for you.
Sending lots of love and hope this holiday season,
E komo mai! 🌺 I am the author of Aloha State of Mind, a self help book that teaches you how to create paradise wherever you are. My blog, Naturally Aloha, focuses on all things Hawaii: culture, values, food, lifestyle, and more. I hope my writing inspires you to carry aloha with you everywhere! Learn more…
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