Lōkahi means unity, oneness, and harmony. Those who perfect the art of lōkahi are not afraid of others. In fact, they embrace the differences of others, knowing that people work best when they listen, seek understanding, and come up with the best solution together.
Together is the word that encompasses the spirit of lōkahi. Nature shows us a pattern of working together, as birds fly against the wind in the beautiful shape of the letter V. Dolphins swim in pods, allowing the young ones to swim in the center for protection. Ecosystems work in harmony to produce rain, sunshine, and oxygen, which provide the necessities of life. This is lōkahi.
On a human level, lōkahi is fostering an environment of complete cooperation, where every person in a group recognizes and supports the best decision for everyone. It is, as Stephen Covey describes, a win-win situation. There are no losers with lōkahi; every player of the team works together with the same goal in mind, knowing that each role, no matter the size, is greatly important.
The Lōkahi Challenge
Lōkahi is all about building trustworthy relationships through listening and understanding. It is also having courage to share your own thoughts, trusting that as you are respectful, you will be respected. It is being strong enough to put aside your own prejudices and beliefs to synergize with others and reach powerful solutions.
To begin this challenge, consider whether the following statements are True or False for yourself.
- I always have to be in charge or nothing gets done.
- I hate team/group projects because nobody does their part.
- I work better by myself—that’s just how I am.
- I am a quiet person and everybody bosses me around because of it.
- I can’t ever share my opinions because people never agree with me.
- I have my own goals and don’t need other people to hold me accountable.
After answering true or false for each of these, carefully evaluate the answers that you marked as TRUE. What do these statements say about your beliefs? Do you believe that you are better off working alone? Do you believe that YOU are the only person with all of the answers?
The lōkahi challenge is rigorous, but it will dramatically improve the way you work with others. Try it for one week
1. In any interaction you have with others, make an effort to listen empathetically.
2. If you have some kind of a conflict with another person, make a conscious effort to change the energy through ho’oponopono. If it is someone you interact with regurlarly, such as a spouse, make the effort to share your feelings and don’t point fingers.
3. Write in your journal a list of the relationships you are grateful for, then ask yourself what needs to change in order for the relationships to be strengthened. Do you gossip with one of these people? Do you tend to talk negatively with one of these people? What can you do to change that negativity to become inspiring and uplifting?
Share Your Story
Every person has a unique story, and we’d love to hear yours! How have you felt while doing this challenge? Was there anything that was challenging to you? Was there anything that truly inspired you? Be sure to share in our Hawaii Vibe Tribe Facebook group or use the hashtag #HIVibe on your social media! Replying and commenting on others is also another wonderful way to keep the vibe HI!
Much love,
Lei
Extra: My Story
I’ve always been independent. I’ve never relied on others for help, truly believing that if I didn’t get a certain task done, then it would never get done. I learned quickly that my parents would provide me the necessities of life: food, shelter, but other things like emotional support was a 50/50 gamble.
Because of the inconsistencies I witnessed growing up, I never fully learned to trust people. I would work well with others, usually “losing” through not saying anything, letting people boss me around, not offering my ideas, or just having my own personal goals to accomplish and not letting the group know. Whenever I had group projects, I groaned in anger because I knew that I would always “lose” and end up doing all the work.
However, I began to realize that there IS a better way. I’ve truly learned lōkahi from my husband. Even before we got married he expressed how he wanted to always be in agreement. He said he always wanted to be on the same page, meaning we support each other in our personal and couple goals, we make big decisions together, and we always, always communicate. Having this open discussion and making lōkahi a priority in our marriage has made our lives so much easier and our marriage so much stronger.
I learned that it’s ok to work with other people and that I don’t always have to LOSE. There are win-win relationships, and the more I learned to listen empathetically, the more I am able to achieve win-win with groups. It’s not perfect—people have to want to work together as well, but every effort you make will help your relationships, including your relationship with yourself.
Now go out and bring more unity in your relationships. You got this!
Love,
Lei
P.S. Want to learn more? Sign up for my 5 Hawaiian Days to Wellness Mini Course and begin your journey towards wellness, Hawaiian style
