Ho’omau is the Hawaiian word encouraging us to carry on. It means to be steady, constant, enduring, persevering, and unceasing.
Those who ho’omau do not give up, especially when the going gets hard. They know that, in most cases, the best things in life are not easily won.
Those who live ho’omau are resilient against opposition. They don’t worry about what others say to them or about them. They are focused on their goals, knowing that they can do it with faith in God and balance in their lives. At the same time, they know that some things require sacrifice, but the reward will be worth it.
The Ho’omau Challenge
Is there something you started that you just haven’t been able to finish? Is there something you need to carry on from? Are you in a situation that requires endurance? Is there a goal you want to reach that others say is impossible?
The Ho’omau challenge can help you overcome these self doubts, and even self abuse. By learning how to set goals and make plans to reach them, you can learn what it means to be steady and constant, no matter what challenges might come your way. This is a very broad overview of setting goals. I go more into depth on setting goals in my course, which will be available for purchase soon! 🙂
In your journal, separate your page into four categories: physical, spiritual, emotional, and mental.
List no more than 3 goals under each category, making sure that they are SMART (specific, measurable, attainable, relevant, and time-based). For example, you might write “eat healthier,” which is a great goal BUT is it measurable? A more measurable goal might be, “Eat at least 2 fruits and vegetables per day for the next two weeks.”
Make plans to accomplish each goal, meaning now is the time to open up your planner and write when and how you will make it to your goals.
Create a vision board or write your goals on a sheet of paper. Place this somewhere you can see it so that you 1) won’t forget and 2) will be encouraged each time you glance at it. You got this!
Extra: My Story
Ho’omau is one of my favorite words… like. ever (ok, besides my husband’s name). The reason is that it is full of so much meaning, and it holds so many stories—for me and for many others. I had to carry on from so many things in my life.
I hear stories all of the time of people who gathered the strength to carry on: a once-nobody rising from the darkness to become a somebody, whether an athlete, a singer, a writer, etc.
Ho’omau is exactly that, but it doesn’t have to be that huge. I’ve talked to many women and men who have suffered terrible trauma. Their ability to come out of depression, mental illness, and leave toxic relationships always inspires me. Their commitment to ho’omau is AMAZING.
I give myself credit too. I feel like I literally rose from ashes. It’s been a long journey for me: from being super poor, with little to no family support, and just totally mentally crushed to who I am today. I am so grateful for my challenges, and I’m especially grateful for ho’omau: the constant willpower telling me to keep going, the little bits of energy I would get as I looked at my goals, and the power I felt from accomplishing what I’d set out to do.
‘Imi ola literally means “seek, hunt, or search the highest, wellbeing, and life,” but the broader application is to seek the highest in life. Each person is constantly learning but the key with ‘imi ola is to actively search out and choose the best things in life.
Those who live ‘imi ola know how to balance knowledge with wisdom. They have personal beliefs and convictions, which they allow to guide their lives. They view every interaction with others as an opportunity to learn and grow.
Seeking ‘imi ola is a continual process of seeking the highest, such as a higher way of thinking, of doing tasks, or of learning. Though some tasks may feel like an impossible mountain to climb, remember that every step taken brings you closer and closer to your goal.
Those who live ‘imi ola also know that learning is easier when there is someone to guide the way. They find mentors who challenge, encourage, and support them in their endeavors.
The ‘Imi Ola Challenge
Is there a skill or talent that you’ve always wanted to learn but never had the chance, the time, or even the finances? With the internet, you can learn anything nowadays, from playing the piano, learning a new language, or trying a new recipe.
The first part of the challenge encourages you to find something new that will expand your knowledge or find something that you already love and make a goal to improve in it.
The second part of the ‘Imi Ola challenge is to find a mentor. This mentor can be someone to guide you along your spiritual or emotional journey, or someone to teach you a new skill or trade.
Share Your Story
Every person has a unique story, and we’d love to hear yours! How have you felt while doing this challenge? Was there anything that was challenging to you? Was there anything that truly inspired you? Be sure to share in our Hawaii Vibe Tribe Facebook group or use the hashtag #HIVibe on your social media! Replying and commenting on others is also another wonderful way to keep the vibe HI!
Mahalo is more than just being grateful for something. It is an attitude of gratitude. I’ve come to learn that some of the happiest people I know are the most grateful people. They seem to see the situation differently: It’s raining outside? What a blessing to the earth! Someone is bullying? They probably have a lot going on in their life.
Those who have an attitude of gratitude, who live mahalo, know that this life is temporary. Things happen. People make mistakes, plans don’t always happen the way they’re supposed to, and life is full of ups and downs. Those who live mahalo express gratitude in the hardest of times and the happiest of times. They are grateful for their challenges, knowing that they will become stronger.
Our life experience is a lot like people who walk through an art gallery. Some people look at the artwork close up, scrutinizing the texture or pointing out flaws. Some people totally miss certain pieces of art, walking past to the next canvas in hopes of something that will catch their attention. But those who live mahalo see and experience every picture. Even when some parts of the picture are dimmed out, they find another aspect of the picture to appreciate. They recognize that some paintings have flaws, but they appreciate those flaws as a part of the whole painting and they shouldn’t be ignored. They take their time on each painting, viewing the bigger picture.
Take a moment to be still. Ask yourself, When was the last time I truly appreciated someone? Perhaps it was earlier that day. Maybe it was a week or month ago. Each person expresses appreciation in different ways. Some people write and deliver notes, some people opt to texting or talking over the phone. Some people just never show their gratitude. Evaluate where you are and write down one goal of something you can change to show more gratitude.
Record Your Journey
I truly believe that if you ponder, notice, and record the things you’re grateful for, it will help you see even more blessings and miracles in your daily life. It will also become a habit, and a habit of gratitude is a great way to improve our character and confidence.
I created a Mahalo Ke Akua gratitude journal, a journal to help you record things you’re grateful for daily. Record in the morning, evening, before or after prayers, or whenever you want! This is your gratitude journey. 🙂
Mahalo has been one of my greatest lifesavers. If it weren’t for an attitude of gratitude, I sometimes wonder if I’d even be here today. When I moved to Utah for two years to obtain a teaching license, I struggled to make friends. I was so different from other people, and the constant questions about why I left Hawaii made me feel very lonely. I felt like people didn’t want me there, but I knew I had to keep going because I wanted to be successful. But, more than that, I just wanted to be happy.
My efforts to be happy started within myself. I kept a daily journal, in which I poured out all my emotions and frustrations. I shared my raw feelings, but before I closed up my laptop, I always made sure to express gratitude, especially to God.
Mahalo ke Akua, I always wrote. Thanks be to God that I have a place to stay, food to eat, a job, and that I’m getting by just fine. My life has been filled with so much joy because of this attitude. I know that I can’t get on without Him, and I know that all of my blessings are the tender gifts of a loving Heavenly Father.
Mahalo ke Akua. I hope you can find that attitude of gratitude and allow it to change your life too! Can’t wait to hear more of how you’re doing with the challenge so be sure to share your thoughts in the Facebook group!
Lōkahi means unity, oneness, and harmony. Those who perfect the art of lōkahi are not afraid of others. In fact, they embrace the differences of others, knowing that people work best when they listen, seek understanding, and come up with the best solution together.
Together is the word that encompasses the spirit of lōkahi. Nature shows us a pattern of working together, as birds fly against the wind in the beautiful shape of the letter V. Dolphins swim in pods, allowing the young ones to swim in the center for protection. Ecosystems work in harmony to produce rain, sunshine, and oxygen, which provide the necessities of life. This is lōkahi.
On a human level, lōkahi is fostering an environment of complete cooperation, where every person in a group recognizes and supports the best decision for everyone. It is, as Stephen Covey describes, a win-win situation. There are no losers with lōkahi; every player of the team works together with the same goal in mind, knowing that each role, no matter the size, is greatly important.
The Lōkahi Challenge
Lōkahi is all about building trustworthy relationships through listening and understanding. It is also having courage to share your own thoughts, trusting that as you are respectful, you will be respected. It is being strong enough to put aside your own prejudices and beliefs to synergize with others and reach powerful solutions.
To begin this challenge, consider whether the following statements are True or False for yourself.
I always have to be in charge or nothing gets done.
I hate team/group projects because nobody does their part.
I work better by myself—that’s just how I am.
I am a quiet person and everybody bosses me around because of it.
I can’t ever share my opinions because people never agree with me.
I have my own goals and don’t need other people to hold me accountable.
After answering true or false for each of these, carefully evaluate the answers that you marked as TRUE. What do these statements say about your beliefs? Do you believe that you are better off working alone? Do you believe that YOU are the only person with all of the answers?
The lōkahi challenge is rigorous, but it will dramatically improve the way you work with others. Try it for one week
1. In any interaction you have with others, make an effort to listen empathetically.
2. If you have some kind of a conflict with another person, make a conscious effort to change the energy through ho’oponopono. If it is someone you interact with regurlarly, such as a spouse, make the effort to share your feelings and don’t point fingers.
3. Write in your journal a list of the relationships you are grateful for, then ask yourself what needs to change in order for the relationships to be strengthened. Do you gossip with one of these people? Do you tend to talk negatively with one of these people? What can you do to change that negativity to become inspiring and uplifting?
Share Your Story
Every person has a unique story, and we’d love to hear yours! How have you felt while doing this challenge? Was there anything that was challenging to you? Was there anything that truly inspired you? Be sure to share in our Hawaii Vibe Tribe Facebook group or use the hashtag #HIVibe on your social media! Replying and commenting on others is also another wonderful way to keep the vibe HI!
Much love,
Lei
Extra: My Story
I’ve always been independent. I’ve never relied on others for help, truly believing that if I didn’t get a certain task done, then it would never get done. I learned quickly that my parents would provide me the necessities of life: food, shelter, but other things like emotional support was a 50/50 gamble.
Because of the inconsistencies I witnessed growing up, I never fully learned to trust people. I would work well with others, usually “losing” through not saying anything, letting people boss me around, not offering my ideas, or just having my own personal goals to accomplish and not letting the group know. Whenever I had group projects, I groaned in anger because I knew that I would always “lose” and end up doing all the work.
However, I began to realize that there IS a better way. I’ve truly learned lōkahi from my husband. Even before we got married he expressed how he wanted to always be in agreement. He said he always wanted to be on the same page, meaning we support each other in our personal and couple goals, we make big decisions together, and we always, always communicate. Having this open discussion and making lōkahi a priority in our marriage has made our lives so much easier and our marriage so much stronger.
I learned that it’s ok to work with other people and that I don’t always have to LOSE. There are win-win relationships, and the more I learned to listen empathetically, the more I am able to achieve win-win with groups. It’s not perfect—people have to want to work together as well, but every effort you make will help your relationships, including your relationship with yourself.
Now go out and bring more unity in your relationships. You got this!
Aloha literally means “the breath of life.” When a person is born into this world, they take their first ha, or their first breath. When a person departs from this world, they breathe their last ha. The word marks the significant and deep moments of reflection, the moments where the only thing that matters is the love and the tenderness of the relationships formed in this life. It’s no wonder, then, that western culture has redefined the word aloha as meaning “hello, goodbye, and ‘I love you.’”
Aloha marks the life and death of a person, but it means more than just “hello” and “goodbye.” The tenderness of feelings that accompany these two significant life events, birth and death, remind us that this truly is our one life to live. We have one chance to breathe love, to breathe goodness, and to breathe light to others.
Thus, aloha is the breath of life. It is the kind of unconditional love that surpasses superficial personalities and weak character. No matter what, a person who lives with aloha has integrity and humility. They understand that nobody is perfect, and every person needs to be loved. They love others just as they love themselves. People are attracted to them—not because they are popular, but because they emit beautiful and pure energy. They are like lights in a dark room. They give love and they receive love.
This way of living aloha is to breathe life, not to just survive life. Those who live aloha appreciate this life. They appreciate the challenges as much as the good times. Aloha becomes them and, in return of their giving aloha, aloha is returned to them. They live a happy life, a peaceful life, and a beautiful aloha life.
The Aloha Challenge
Aloha begins at the core of each person. It begins with a raw, but gentle, evaluation of who we are now. Here are some questions to ask yourself to find out where you are in living aloha.
Do I listen to others with the intent to respond?
Do I seek to be heard before listening?
Am I assumptive about the needs of others before asking?
Do I build myself up by pointing out the flaws of others?
Am I selective with the people I choose to love?
Do I compare myself to others?
Am I happy for other peoples’ successes?
Am I happy for my own accomplishments?
Do I talk negatively to and about myself?
Do I talk negatively to and about my spouse (if applicable)?
Am I usually on my phone when I’m around people?
If you answered NO to most of these questions, you are off to a great start. If you answered YES to all, most, or some of these questions, you are in the company of many others who struggle to truly LIVE with LOVE.
In this day and age, we are surrounded by advertising and media falsely marketing that you can be happy if you have this or that. Companies and people make empty promises to hook you in and distract you from the things that matter the most.
People who live aloha can easily recognize and avoid these traps. They recognize that this life isn’t about owning the latest gadgets and clothes. It isn’t about finding the faults of others and living their lives based off an old hurt. Challenges and pains happen to everyone, but those who live aloha have respect for their own personal lives. They live with love, meaning that they breathe love for themselves, for others, and for God. They learn to overcome these obstacles and allow the obstacles to make them stronger.
The challenge, therefore, is simple.
List 5 things that are THE MOST important to you.
Share your list with a trusted friend, and discuss with them why you feel this way. If they feel that your priorities are off, listen and evaluate yourself, referring back to the questions listed above. Ask yourself, do I invest enough time and energy to the things that matter most to me?
Challenge yourself for the next three days with this: For every negative thing you say or think—either about yourself or others—say or think of two positive things to replace the negative. See how long you can keep it up until you are free of negative thoughts.
Make a conscious effort to smile more.
Do something kind for yourself (BONUS if you ask your spouse to help!).
Share Your Story
Every person has a unique story, and we’d love to hear yours! How have you felt while doing this challenge? Was there anything that was challenging to you? Was there anything that truly inspired you? Be sure to share in our Hawaii Vibe Tribe Facebook group or use the hashtag #HIVibe! Replying and commenting on others is also another wonderful way to keep the vibe HI!
Much love,
Lei
Extra: My Story
Staring at the waves as a little girl, I felt so vulnerable. They crashed and crashed, rolling up against my legs and surrounding my ankles with their cool touch. I felt great energy from the water, and I knew that others who visited Hawaii felt the same. There was something so enlightening, so chaotic—and yet so peaceful—about the ocean.
I always thought about the ocean as the best metaphor of my life. In my adult years, it is so fascinating to reflect back on all the things I’ve gone through. My life was crazy and calm. There were moments of deep sadness and moments I felt like I had wings to fly. I experienced painful trauma and I experienced sweet peace.
However, throughout all of it, I remember one thing: I had to live with love. I didn’t adapt the word aloha until my teen years, but I recognized, from an early age, that every person suffers in one way or another. Every person has a story. I also realized that, like the ocean, our stories make us feel vulnerable. They’re unpredictable, beautiful, and ugly all at the same time. But when we truly learn to share our stories and participate in the human experience, giving and receiving love, we learn to live. We learn aloha, to breathe life.
I hope that this challenge will encourage you to start recognizing the things that matter most, and to start prioritizing your life according to those things.
And just a quick tip… I know that taking care of yourself first is crucial to loving others. For the longest time I just gave and gave all the love I could away. I’d go home alone, depressed, and I’d cry a lot. The only people I could turn to as a young adult were my older sister and God. I learned that giving love is wonderful, but you need to receive love too—from God, from others, and, importantly, from yourself. It is a process, but don’t forget to take care of yourself too. We need you. 🙂
E komo mai! 🌺 I am the author of Aloha State of Mind, a self help book that teaches you how to create paradise wherever you are. My blog, Naturally Aloha, focuses on all things Hawaii: culture, values, food, lifestyle, and more. I hope my writing inspires you to carry aloha with you everywhere! Learn more…
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